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Transform Pain & Trauma Into Creative Expression | David Choe

Dec 22, 2025 3h 54m 40 insights
David Choe is a world-renowned artist, writer, podcaster and TV host. He tells how as a child, he was made to believe he was destined for greatness but also that he was a complete disgrace, leading him to channel his energy—including deep shame—into art that brought him global recognition. He shares about his addictions that put him on a decades-long cycle of extreme highs and lows and that forced him to eventually acknowledge and heal the childhood trauma he was battling inside. David shows up with raw, authentic presence to show us how we can transmute pain and shame into our best creative work and, more importantly, how complete vulnerability, especially about our hardest experiences, is the ultimate tool for forgiveness and self-acceptance. He also tells us the actual story about early Facebook, Pee-wee Herman and Santa Claus. Note: This conversation includes topics and language that may not be suitable for younger audiences. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com.
Actionable Insights

1. Address Self-Hatred

Stop constant activity and confront internal feelings and self-hatred, as continuous running prevents self-reflection and healing.

2. Connect Intellect with Emotion

Engage in activities like painting or music to bridge the gap between intellectual understanding and emotional experience, moving from the head to the heart.

3. Cultivate Absolute Self-Belief

Develop an unwavering ‘absolute belief’ in your own potential and greatness, similar to blind faith, to overcome self-doubt and external negativity.

4. Adapt to Changing Circumstances

Cultivate a mindset of rapid adaptation, letting go lightly of past plans and embracing new directions when faced with unexpected challenges or changes.

5. Use Past Suffering as Fuel

Recognize that past suffering provides sufficient ‘fuel’ for creativity and growth; avoid intentionally putting yourself in situations to suffer more.

6. Prioritize Others’ Happiness

Avoid correcting people when it would diminish their happiness, choosing instead to allow them their joy, even if it’s based on a misunderstanding.

7. Act As If You Belong

Overcome shyness or self-consciousness by ‘acting as if you belong’ and are the best in your field, projecting confidence to secure your place at the table.

8. Journal for Vulnerability

Keep a private journal to practice vulnerability and open self-expression, as the act of writing down thoughts and feelings can be deeply cathartic and empowering.

9. Embrace Vulnerability in Art

Approach creative endeavors with bravery and vulnerability, pouring your soul into your work without fear of rejection, as this deep emotional investment leads to growth and authenticity.

10. Develop Resilience to Criticism

Cultivate a strong sense of self and resilience to negative feedback, accepting that not everyone will appreciate your work, especially when it comes from the soul.

11. Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs

Challenge immediate negative self-talk (e.g., ‘I suck at drawing’) that prevents you from trying new things, and instead, create a safe space to practice and make mistakes without judgment.

12. Embrace Color & Self-Expression

Incorporate more color into your environment and personal style, moving away from monotonous neutrals, to reflect and enhance your current season of life and self-expression.

13. Treat Conversations as Canvas

Approach conversations, especially those where you feel nervous or unpolished, as a creative canvas where you can be ‘sloppy’ and ‘have fun’ rather than striving for perfection.

14. Care is Art’s Invisible Ingredient

Infuse genuine care into all your endeavors, as it is the ‘invisible ingredient’ that resonates deeply with others, regardless of skill or craft.

15. Allow for ‘Paint Mixing’

When answering direct questions, especially if your thoughts are abstract, allow yourself to explore and ‘paint mix’ your ideas to fully articulate your response.

16. Be Authentic, Remove Masks

Strive to be your authentic self in interactions, avoiding the temptation to wear a ‘mask’ or conform to perceived expectations of others.

17. Implement Self-Protection Boundaries

For sensitive individuals, establish artificial blocks and boundaries (e.g., no social media passwords, phone internet blocks) to protect oneself from external pressures and maintain self-comfort.

18. Find Creativity in the Mundane

Seek creative inspiration and ‘brilliance’ in everyday, mundane environments, cold temperatures, or conditions with limited distractions like no Wi-Fi, rather than romanticizing grand, external movements.

19. Practice Self-Correction & Honesty

Develop the ’new tool’ of self-correction and honesty, especially regarding exaggerations or lies, rather than fabricating stories for effect.

20. Differentiate Craft from Creativity

Recognize that craft and skill are teachable through study and practice, but true creativity is distinct and may stem from innate qualities or deprivation.

21. Embrace Your Unique Identity

Resist societal or cultural pressures to conform to a prescribed identity, and instead, embrace and express your authentic self, even if it means defying expectations.

22. Challenge Perceived Reality

Adopt a mindset that questions and challenges conventional reality, understanding that your perception and belief can shape your actions and outcomes.

23. Protect Your Sensitivity

Implement protective measures and boundaries (e.g., limiting social media, avoiding certain environments) to safeguard your sensitive nature.

24. Prioritize Important Conversations

Engage in conversations that you deem important, even if they evoke fear or anxiety about miscommunication or negative outcomes, because the potential value outweighs the risk.

25. Persistently Pursue Opportunities

Continuously seek out and submit your work to various opportunities, even in the face of repeated rejections, understanding that persistence is key.

26. Focus on Quality Over Quantity

In creative work, prioritize playing ’less’ or focusing on essential elements rather than trying to demonstrate every capability or put down the most lines.

27. Avoid Shaming Through Correction

When interacting with others, avoid correcting them in a way that makes them feel stupid or shamed, as it can lead to anger and resentment.

28. Hire Accountability Partners

For addiction, hire trusted friends to physically intervene and remove you from addictive situations (e.g., gambling tables, bars after a certain number of drinks) and manage your money, paying them only if they succeed in stopping you.

29. Practice Gratitude Daily

Wake up every day and consciously practice gratitude, even amidst difficult circumstances, to shift your mindset and appreciate your life.

30. Examine Your Heart Introspectively

Conduct an ‘x-ray of your heart’ to introspectively examine your feelings, motivations, and the unmet needs behind your behaviors, rather than just logically analyzing them.

31. Dare to Be Mediocre/Moderate

Find brilliance and inner spark in the ‘boring, mundane space’ by daring to be mediocre or moderate, rather than constantly striving for all-or-nothing extremes.

32. Play the Tape Out

Use the tool of ‘playing the tape out’ to logically consider the likely negative consequences of destructive or addictive behaviors, helping to prevent escalation.

33. Brainwash Yourself Positively

Consciously brainwash yourself with positive affirmations (e.g., ‘I am worthy,’ ‘I am enough’) to counteract negative self-talk and societal messaging.

34. Deprive Yourself of Electronics

Deprive yourself of electronic devices and constant digital input to foster real emotion, connection, and self-care, as constant exposure to media can be overwhelming and distracting.

35. Believe in Hope and Faith

Cultivate hope and faith, even when circumstances seem hopeless, as these are powerful internal ‘drugs’ that can sustain you through difficult times.

36. Ask for Help

Overcome the difficulty of admitting weakness by reaching out and asking for help when you can’t find anything nice to say about yourself, allowing others to provide validation and build hope.

37. Allow Yourself to Feel

Permit yourself to feel all emotions, including sadness and vulnerability, rather than suppressing them or being ashamed, as this allows for genuine self-acceptance.

38. Surrender to What You Can’t Control

Practice surrender to things beyond your control, like external opinions or natural events, recognizing that trying to control everything is exhausting and ultimately futile.

39. Take Time Off

Commit to taking significant time off, such as a year, to unlearn workaholism, nurture your heart, and allow for a deeper recharge and renewed inspiration.

40. Communicate Love and Appreciation

Express love and appreciation to people you care about regularly, rather than waiting until it’s too late or they are at their lowest point.