Apply the motto ‘Shut up, suit up, show up’ to your daily life. ‘Shut up’ means to stop complaining and acknowledge your blessings, ‘suit up’ means to prepare and do your homework, and ‘show up’ means to step into life and do your best, rather than showing off, to live your journey honestly.
Regularly ask yourself what internal motivations or ‘clusters of energy’ your beliefs, feelings, or actions are truly in service to. This helps identify unconscious drivers like codependence, conflict avoidance, or fear, which may be counterproductive.
Shift your self-perception from being defined by past experiences or traumas to being defined by what is wishing to be expressed through you in your life. This helps overcome the tendency to internalize negative events as defining aspects of self.
Dedicate at least 15 minutes each morning and evening to meditation or reflection, especially on dreams or daily experiences. This practice helps to step out of the ‘stimulus-response’ cycle and allows deeper insights from the psyche to emerge.
Consciously acknowledge and take responsibility for the ‘shadow’ parts of your psyche—those troubling aspects like jealousy, envy, aggression, or greed. This is the single best thing you can do for society, as it prevents projecting these issues onto others and fosters personal accountability.
Recognize that mortality is what makes life meaningful, as finite choices give purpose to your actions. This perspective helps to move beyond ego-driven self-perpetuation and to value the precious gift of life.
Consciously ask large, fundamental questions about your existence, such as ‘Why am I here?’ and ‘What is this life about?’. Living these questions honestly, with integrity, will eventually lead you to your own answers and a larger, more interesting journey.
When faced with a decisive point in life, ask if a particular path will enlarge you psychically or spiritually, or if it will diminish you. Choosing the larger path, though potentially challenging, will lead to growth and development, while the diminishing path narrows your life.
Find opportunities to be alone with yourself, whether through drawing, walking, or listening to music, to step out of the constant ‘stimulus-response’ cycle. Tolerating and paying attention during solitude allows internal insights to surface, addressing loneliness by connecting with your inner self.
Engage in activities that help you exit the constant ‘stimulus-response’ cycle of daily life, such as creative pursuits or mindful movement. This allows the psyche to rest, restore, and reflect, helping you to ‘recollect’ yourself and prevent feeling unraveled.
When experiencing suffering, anxiety, or depression, ask ‘What does this suffering make you do?’ and ‘What does it keep you from doing?’. This shifts focus from passive victimization to identifying the specific task or issue that needs to be addressed for personal growth.
When confronted with significant life challenges or ‘swamp lands of the soul’ (e.g., betrayal, loss), identify the specific task required for recovery, such as ‘recovery of self-worth.’ Addressing these core tasks is essential for moving forward constructively.
Develop patience to sit with difficult emotions and situations over time, sorting and sifting until something new emerges. Also, accept powerlessness in the sense that you cannot ‘fix’ others, but can only promote attitudes and behaviors that help them find what is right from within themselves.
Talk to trusted individuals like your spouse, closest partner, or children and ask them to honestly share what they observe in you, particularly where you might be hurtful or inappropriate. This provides valuable external perspective on your unconscious patterns.
Actively pay attention to your dreams, as the psyche processes and comments on your life through them, often revealing a point of view. Dreams can offer insights into unconscious factors and internal drivers.
Evaluate your activities based on whether they are meaningful as understood by your psyche. If an activity is meaningful, it will support you even through suffering; if not, it can lead to boredom, burnout, and pathologize over time.
Move your primary focus from what the world or others demand of you to what your ‘soul’ or psyche wants to express through you. This helps to counter the external barrage of stimuli and find deeper purpose beyond mere adaptation.
Seize permission to live your life’s journey as honestly as you can, recognizing that life is short. This commitment to your authentic path ultimately serves others by modeling integrity and courage.
Model a life lived with courage and integrity for your children, as the ‘unlived life of the parent’ can become a burden for them. This not only sets an example but also gives them permission to live their own authentic journeys.
Understand meditation as a deliberate perceptual exercise aimed at shifting focus inward, rather than an esoteric practice. This allows for better understanding of unconscious processing and more intentional responses to life.
Recognize that ’nothing human is alien to me,’ meaning you carry the entire capacity of human nature, including shadow aspects like jealousy or aggression. This self-awareness is crucial for understanding yourself and avoiding projection onto others.
Examine recurring self-defeating or hurtful patterns in your life and acknowledge that you are the consistent factor in these dramas. This humbling realization is the first step toward addressing your ‘stuff’ rather than blaming external circumstances.
Value the ‘otherness’ of your partner in relationships, as encountering differing perspectives creates a dialectic that leads to enlargement and growth. This fosters a dynamic of mutual learning and development.
In committed relationships, sacrifice on behalf of the shared ‘project’ (e.g., the marriage, the friendship) that you’ve mutually launched, rather than constantly sacrificing only to the other person. This approach fosters mutual support and prevents resentment.
When in long-term relationships, ask what has happened to the soul of each person within that relationship—has it grown and developed, or has it become stuck? This encourages a deeper evaluation beyond mere longevity.
Pay close attention to what is wanting expression through your child and support their unique journey, rather than assuming they will replicate your life or values. This acknowledges their individual path and helps them avoid spending their life trying to ‘get away’ from parental expectations.
If you are in a relationship, actively support the growth and development of your partner. This requires overcoming insecurity about potential changes in your partner and fostering genuine reciprocity in responsibilities.
Strive for genuine reciprocity in your responsibilities to each other and your shared work, including child-rearing. This helps prevent one partner from being unduly or unfairly burdened, fostering a more equitable relationship.
To be a person of integrity, work to integrate all aspects of yourself, pulling back your ‘stuff’ and clearly defining where you stand amidst life’s dilemmas. This process allows you to respond from a place of wholeness and authenticity.
Actively seek out and value experiences that ‘quicken your spirit,’ stir you inside, or touch you in a ’numinous’ way, even if you cannot explain them. These resonant experiences are unique to your soul and are essential for a vital life.
Strive to balance your individual journey and personal development with the legitimate commitments and sacrifices required in relationships. This delicate balance is crucial for both personal fulfillment and healthy partnerships.
When encountering personal distress or that of others, focus on the underlying suffering rather than immediately applying psychological labels or diagnoses. This allows for a deeper understanding of the individual’s experience and the tasks it presents.
Regularly ask yourself, ‘How now am I to live my life in the face of this situation?’ This question encourages ongoing adaptation and accountability in response to changing life circumstances, particularly as you age or face new challenges.
Cultivate a ’larger story’ for your life that transcends the narratives given by your culture, family of origin, or past experiences. This helps you overcome limiting scripts and pursue a more expansive and authentic existence.
Address the fear of mortality by paradoxically accepting it and letting go of the fantasy of the ego’s sovereignty or immunity to the natural order. This acceptance can lead to a sense of serenity and reduce anxiety about death.