Use the WHOOP framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan) to clarify your goals, build motivation by visualizing the outcome, anticipate internal obstacles, and create specific ‘if-then’ plans to make emotion regulation and goal pursuit more automatic and effective.
Engage in expressive writing for 15-20 minutes a day for 1-3 days to work through problematic experiences, as this practice imposes structure on disorganized thoughts and serves as a powerful tool for self-healing.
Strategically focus on emotional issues when productive, but also divert attention with healthy distractions or avoidance when it doesn’t serve you, returning to the problem if it persistently resurfaces, as this flexibility is a useful asset for managing emotional struggles.
When struggling with a problem, especially during 2 AM chatter, ask yourself how you will feel about it tomorrow morning, next week, or 10 years from now; this activates the understanding that the distress is temporary, turning down its volume.
Address yourself by your own name and the second-person pronoun ‘you’ when thinking through a problem, as this shifts your perspective to be more objective, like giving advice to someone else.
Regularly walk in safe, natural green spaces to experience cognitive restoration through gentle attention capture and to elicit awe, which broadens your perspective and makes personal problems feel smaller.
Cultivate a group of trusted individuals who will not only validate your emotions but also help you broaden your perspective and problem-solve, rather than just allowing you to vent, which can amplify negative emotions.
Refrain from merely venting negative emotions without seeking broader perspective or problem-solving, as research suggests that pure venting can amplify bad emotions and lead to co-rumination, leaving the underlying problem unresolved.
Strategically use music to shift your emotional state, such as listening to uplifting songs to move from a low mood to an invigorated state, or to get into a desired mental frame before an important event.
Before engaging in aerobic exercise, mentally ’load’ a problem you’re trying to solve, then allow your unconscious problem-solving machinery to work, as solutions often bubble up during physical activity without direct effortful thought.
Modify your physical spaces to reduce distractions and manage emotions, such as keeping social media apps on a separate device or removing phones/laptops from work/social environments to prevent cognitive tethering and improve focus.
Recognize that intrusive, dark thoughts are normative brain functions, often simulations of worst-case scenarios to prevent harm; understanding this can be liberating and reduce self-judgment.
Engage in activities that fully absorb your attention and match your skills with the demands (flow states), as this provides deep satisfaction, reduces inner chatter, and allows for mental decompression.
Allocate time for ‘mindless vegetation,’ such as watching cooking shows or prank reels, to decompress and reset, especially after high-intensity cognitive work, to achieve a serene state before sleep.
Establish a refractory period or transition time to decompress and switch from work life to home life, especially after intense cognitive engagement, to be more present and engaged with family.
Enter difficult conversations and group conflicts with humility, curiosity, and a genuine interest in understanding the other party’s perspective, rather than aiming to change their mind, to bridge divides and foster productive dialogue.
Proactively help others without drawing attention to your actions, as unsolicited overt help can sometimes be perceived as questioning their capabilities and can backfire.
Employ appropriate, mutually desired affectionate touch (tactile sensation) to soothe others and facilitate the release of stress-fighting chemicals, as this continues to be a powerful tool for emotional shifting.
When experiencing internal chaos or a lack of control (chatter), organize your physical environment (e.g., clean your office or home) to create a sense of compensatory control and order.
Selectively employ firm or ’negative’ self-talk, channeling a tough coach or mentor, when facing challenging physical or mental tasks, as it can serve a motivating function and push you to perform, as long as it doesn’t lead to looping chatter.
Identify and revisit ’emotional oases’ – places that evoke feelings of safety and comfort – during times of distress for rejuvenation and emotional regulation.
Wear red lens glasses in the evening to filter out short-wavelength blue and green light, which can otherwise quash melatonin production and make it harder to fall asleep.
Engage with social media mindfully and strategically to shift emotions, such as watching funny videos to lighten the load and unwind before bed, rather than letting it become a default, unthinking distraction.
When consuming information for work or learning, strategically increase the speed (e.g., 2x audiobooks) to enhance engagement and retention, provided you maintain vigilance and careful attention.
Use your inner voice to simulate and plan for future events like presentations or interviews by mentally rehearsing what you will say to prepare effectively.
Engage in physical activity like walking while listening to a song before important events to help shape the cadence and energy of your delivery and get into the right mental frame.
In situations involving strong emotions, especially in group contexts, aim to be a ‘channel’ for emotions rather than a ‘dam,’ allowing for expression while guiding them constructively to prevent negative contagion.
Encourage children to use self-talk to practice self-control by repeating messages they hear from caretakers, as this external dialogue eventually internalizes into their inner voice, helping them learn self-regulation.