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How to Achieve True Happiness Using Science-Based Protocols | Dr. Laurie Santos

Episode 208 Dec 23, 2024 3h 8m 18 insights
In this episode, my guest is Dr. Laurie Santos, Ph.D., a professor of psychology and cognitive science at Yale University and a leading researcher on happiness and fulfillment. We discuss what truly increases happiness, examining factors such as money, social comparison, free time, alone time versus time spent with others, pets, and the surprising positive impact of negative visualizations. We also explore common myths and truths about introverts and extroverts, the science of motivation, and how to adjust your hedonic set point to experience significantly more joy in daily life. Throughout the episode, Dr. Santos shares science-supported strategies for enhancing emotional well-being and cultivating a deeper sense of meaning and happiness. Read the full show notes at hubermanlab.com.
Actionable Insights

1. Practice Daily Delights

Shift from generic gratitude to a “delight practice” by actively noticing and recording 3-5 small, positive sensory experiences daily. This trains your brain to overcome negativity bias, making you more attuned to positive emotions and significantly improving life satisfaction in as little as two weeks.

2. Prioritize Real-Time Social Connection

Prioritize and schedule real-time social interactions, whether in-person, via video, or even an old-school phone call, over asynchronous communication like texting. Even brief “micro-doses” of genuine connection, like chatting with a barista or calling a friend, can significantly boost happiness and combat loneliness.

3. Eliminate Phone Distraction

To enhance presence and cognitive performance, remove your phone from the room or keep it out of sight when engaging in tasks like studying, learning, or social interactions. The mere presence of a phone, even if unused, diverts mental resources and diminishes focus and connection, potentially leading to double-digit performance increases.

4. Practice Negative Visualization

Practice “negative visualization” by briefly imagining losing something you value, like your health, success, or a loved one. This Stoic technique helps break through hedonic adaptation, allowing you to appreciate what you currently have more deeply without needing to experience actual loss.

5. Cultivate Time Affluence

Combat “time famine” by intentionally scheduling “time affluence” blocks in your calendar months in advance, leaving them completely free. Additionally, make intentional use of “time confetti” – small, unexpected chunks of free time – for beneficial activities instead of mindlessly defaulting to phone use.

6. Visualize Obstacles for Habits

When pursuing a new habit or goal, instead of solely fantasizing about success, actively visualize the potential obstacles and negative scenarios. This practice helps you proactively identify solutions and increases your motivation to overcome challenges, making goal attainment more likely.

7. Be Other-Oriented for Happiness

Shift focus from self-care to “other-oriented” behaviors, as happy individuals tend to spend more time and resources on others. Spending money or time on someone else, rather than on yourself, can lead to a greater boost in your own happiness.

8. Ask for Help (It’s a Gift)

Don’t hesitate to ask for help from others, especially when they are capable of providing it. Asking for help is not a burden; it can be a “gift” that makes the helper feel competent and provides them with a happiness boost from assisting someone.

9. Craft Your Work & Leisure

Identify your “signature strengths” (e.g., humor, bravery, love of learning) and actively look for ways to infuse them into your daily job tasks and leisure activities. This “job crafting” approach can make any role feel more purposeful and meaningful, enhancing overall life satisfaction.

10. Get a Pet for Happiness

Consider getting a pet, especially a dog, to boost happiness. Pets provide social connection, encourage physical activity (like walking), and foster presence through sensory interactions, serving as a bridge to human social connection and enhancing overall well-being.

11. Daily Cardio for Mood

Engage in at least 30 minutes of cardio exercise daily, as it is shown to be as effective as antidepressant medication in reducing symptoms of depression. This physical activity is a direct and powerful lever for improving mental health and happiness.

12. Heed Negative Emotion Signals

View negative emotions (e.g., outrage, frustration, overwhelm) not as problems to suppress, but as crucial “dashboard lights” providing useful signals about your life. Acknowledge and interpret these emotions to identify necessary behavioral changes or actions, rather than ignoring them.

13. Embrace the Journey Mindset

Avoid the “arrival fallacy” by shifting your focus from the end destination to finding happiness in the journey and process of pursuing goals. Appreciate the ups and downs and cool experiences along the way, rather than solely anticipating joy upon reaching a specific outcome.

14. Savor Fleeting Positives

Enhance positive experiences by consciously acknowledging their temporary nature. Reminding yourself that good moments are finite can help you savor them more deeply and prevent taking them for granted, similar to the Stoic practice of Memento Mori.

15. Beware Effortless Dopamine

Be cautious of “fast, high inflection of dopamine that does not require effort,” as it can lead to a cycle of diminishing pleasure and deeper troughs over time. To maintain healthy reward pathways, ensure that dopamine release is preceded by genuine effort, or consider periods of abstinence from low-effort rewards.

16. Engage Senses for Presence

To quickly enhance presence and embodiment, intentionally engage your senses by noticing what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, and smelling in your immediate environment. This sensory grounding helps shift attention away from internal rumination and into the present moment.

17. Introverts: Re-evaluate Socializing

If you identify as an introvert, challenge your negative predictions about social interactions by intentionally engaging in them, even briefly. Research shows introverts often experience greater happiness and positive emotions from social connection than they anticipate, allowing them to update their social reward expectations.

18. Seek Awe-Inspiring Moments

Actively seek out experiences that evoke “awe” – emotions that are complex, often a mix of positive and slightly destabilizing, but ultimately inspiring. These experiences, like witnessing grand natural phenomena or technological feats, can expand your perspective and enrich your emotional life.