To accurately assess a potential long-term mate’s emotional stability, go on a trip or vacation together in an unfamiliar environment. This reveals how they cope with stress and unpredictability, which is a hallmark of emotional instability.
To overcome mating anxiety and fear of rejection, deliberately expose yourself to rejection by making numerous approaches. This desensitizes you to the fear and builds resilience, as rejection often doesn’t lead to catastrophic outcomes.
Be aware of Dark Triad personality traits (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy) in potential partners. These traits are associated with sexual deception, harassment, coercion, intimate partner violence, and serial offending, particularly in men.
Recognize when a partner denigrates your appearance or self-worth (e.g., insults about looks). This can be a diabolical tactic to reduce your perceived mate value, making you less likely to leave and more likely to stay in the relationship.
Be aware that a partner attempting to isolate you by cutting off relationships with friends and family is a predictor of intimate partner violence. This tactic aims to sequester you and prevent exposure to other potential partners.
Understand jealousy as an evolved emotion designed to protect and preserve long-term relationships and the investment made within them. This mindset shift can help in processing and addressing the emotion rather than dismissing it as immaturity.
To counteract deception and the overwhelming effect of photos in online dating, always meet the person in real life for an interaction, such as a cup of coffee. This provides a more accurate assessment of their true qualities.
Recognize that successful deception is often facilitated by self-deception, meaning individuals genuinely believe their own fabricated narratives. This awareness can help you critically evaluate others’ confidence and claims.
Be aware of the male sexual misperception bias, where men (especially those with Dark Triad traits) may misinterpret friendliness as sexual interest. Women should understand this potential misinterpretation, and men should be cautious not to over-perceive.
Be attentive to mate value discrepancies in a relationship, as they can trigger jealousy and predict a higher likelihood of infidelity or relationship termination by the higher mate value partner. Address these discrepancies if they arise.
To assess a person’s mate value (including your own), observe the ‘attention structure’ – how many other people desire them or pay significant attention to them. This serves as a strong external cue of desirability.
Pay attention to your self-esteem as an internal indicator of your perceived mate value. Self-esteem often tracks social standing and desirability, rising with success and plummeting with rejection.
Be aware that financial infidelity (e.g., secret credit cards, bank accounts, hidden expenditures) is common in relationships for both sexes. Vigilance and open communication about finances can help prevent this.
When assessing a long-term male mate, women should evaluate his long-term resource trajectory (ambition, drive, goals) rather than solely focusing on the resources he possesses at the current moment.
Understand that men prioritize physical appearance in long-term mates, looking for cues associated with youth, health, and fertility. This knowledge can inform how women present themselves.
Understand that women prioritize good earning capacity, slightly older age, and qualities associated with resource acquisition (e.g., social status, drive, ambition) in long-term male mates. This knowledge can inform how men present themselves.
Be aware that online dating profiles often contain predictable deceptions: men exaggerate income by about 20% and add two inches to their height, while women shave about 15 pounds off their reported weight, and both post non-representative photos.
Recognize that men’s primary motive for infidelity is often sexual variety (low-risk, low-cost opportunities), while women’s primary motive is typically unhappiness (emotional or sexual) in their primary relationship, often seeking a mate-switching opportunity.
Understand that displays of self-confidence can act as a heuristic for others to assume competence or desirability. Projecting confidence can be a powerful social cue, though it can also be used deceptively.
Supplement with Vitamin D3 and K2, as D3 is essential for brain and body health (many are deficient even with sunshine), and K2 regulates cardiovascular function and calcium in the body.
Ensure proper hydration and adequate electrolyte intake (sodium, magnesium, potassium) for optimal brain and body function, as even slight dehydration can diminish cognitive and physical performance.
Drink one packet of Element electrolytes dissolved in 16-32 ounces of water first thing in the morning and during any physical exercise to ensure proper hydration and electrolyte balance.
Consider taking Athletic Greens once or twice a day to cover basic nutritional needs, make up for deficiencies, and support microbiome health with probiotics.
Practice Yoga Nidra or Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR) protocols, even for short 10-minute sessions, to greatly restore levels of cognitive and physical energy.
Use meditation apps like Waking Up to access various meditation programs, mindfulness trainings, yoga nidra, and NSDR sessions, allowing you to place your brain and body into different states and explore consciousness.