Regularly practice the “Perfect Day” exercise by closing your eyes and allowing a typical day in your ideal future (3-5 years out) to emerge through your senses, without logical constraints. This process, using “notice, narrow, name” (3 Ns), helps align your unconscious with your conscious goals, leading to desired realities.
Use your body’s physical sensations—contraction/weakness versus peace/groundedness/freedom—as a sophisticated guide to discern truth and make decisions. The body’s wisdom, honed by evolution, offers a more subtle response to truth or falsehood than intellectual thought, leading to liberation.
Identify conflicting internal “parts” (e.g., wild impulses vs. controlling thoughts) and, by wishing both well, cultivate a “compassionate witness” self. This still, peaceful, and compassionate core prevents you from being swept away by emotions or thoughts, fostering deep self-compassion.
When experiencing suffering, notice every sensation without resistance, then engage in “Kind Internal Self-Talk” (KIST). Actively care for yourself as your own caregiver, asking what you need (e.g., a hot drink, a friend’s call) and providing it.
When experiencing physical or emotional pain, practice a “let stay” meditation by consciously allowing the sensation to be present without trying to make it go away or resist it. Paradoxically, this acceptance causes the suffering to begin to change and can lead to peace.
Gradually reduce all forms of lying, including micro-lies and self-deception, by committing to speak and live truthfully. This “one-degree turn” approach involves softening truths or using silence when full disclosure feels untrue or invasive, leading to greater health and freedom.
Redefine love as setting the beloved (and yourself) free, rather than self-abandonment or prioritizing another’s joy over your own. Clearly communicate your needs and boundaries in relationships, as true love respects individual integrity and avoids codependency.
If you are in a codependent relationship where you over-give, pull back to prioritize your integrity and self-care. Be prepared for an “extinction burst” (intense negative reaction) from the other person, and stay firm in your boundaries for healthier outcomes.
Cultivate true empathy by maintaining “self-other awareness” (recognizing “I am not you; when you hurt, I don’t”) and “emotion regulation” (managing your own emotional response). This allows you to be present and genuinely helpful without being overwhelmed by another’s suffering.
Reflect on past dysfunctional relationships to identify the very first moment, often early on, when you abandoned your integrity or ignored an inner warning sign to please another person. Recognizing these patterns helps avoid repeating self-abandonment in future relationships.
Identify and pursue activities that bring you genuine joy, like hobbies or ancient human endeavors, rather than solely focusing on conventional “jobs.” Living from your joy can create significant value and lead to new economic opportunities.
Acknowledge the accelerating rate of societal change and choose to “surf” this wave by embracing your joy and adapting, rather than clinging to old institutions or resisting change. This approach allows for dynamic navigation and new opportunities.
Extend tolerance not only to those who are different from you but also expect tolerance in return for your own choices and lifestyle. This fosters mutual respect and understanding, allowing for diverse ways of living without judgment.
When faced with external criticism or judgment about your choices, respond with a simple, genuine “I like it.” This response, delivered with joy and without friction, asserts your authentic self and prevents negativity from impacting your internal state.