Ask yourself if you have someone (besides your partner) in your life you can go to and be honest about what’s not working, as holding stress inside can become a lifestyle problem.
Have friendships outside of your intimate relationships because expecting one person to be everything (confidant, best friend, etc.) is not healthy and places too high an expectation on them.
See one of your friends in person at least once every week, putting phones away to be truly present for the interaction, as this can dramatically improve mood and productivity.
Establish a regularly recurring ‘opt-out event’ on your calendar with a group of friends (e.g., weekly hike, coffee date), where you only need to notify the group if you can’t make it, to ensure consistent connection.
Overcome the fear of being a burden by both asking for and accepting help from friends, as this creates a bond and a healthy sense of reciprocity, letting you know they have your back.
If a friend disappoints you, honestly communicate that your feelings were hurt, without heavy judgment, to foster understanding and strengthen the bond, rather than holding a grudge or ghosting.
Approach friendships with intentionality, focusing on cultivating deep connections with people who understand you and support your growth, rather than just relying on quantity or proximity.
If you’re looking for new friends, ‘go to where people grow’ (e.g., yoga class, salsa class, community college class) to find like-minded individuals with a growth mindset.
As an adult, actively put yourself out there and ask people you find interesting to ‘hang out’ or grab a coffee, as this initiative is crucial for forming new friendships.
Prioritize keeping in touch with ‘golden friendships’ throughout your life, as one of the top regrets of the dying is not maintaining these relationships.
Challenge the societal pressure on men to ‘man up’ or not show vulnerability, as this toxic belief prevents men from reaching out, opening up, and forming deep connections.
In your most successful friendships, aim for a ‘five to one ratio’ of positive interactions (gratitude, appreciation, affirmations) to negative or neutral ones, as this strengthens bonds.
While written messages have their place, prioritize hearing a friend’s voice or seeing them in person, as these forms of communication are more central to our nervous system and prevent misunderstandings.
Use online platforms and connections to find people with similar interests, then intentionally schedule offline hangouts to gain the full benefits of in-person interaction.
Allow your partner to have their own interests and friends, as expecting them to like everything you do can strip away their individuality and is not necessary for a strong relationship.
Intentionally shift your relationship with your parents to see each other more as friends, as this can drastically improve the dynamic and connection.
If a friend feels you’ve changed, communicate that you still value them and propose new activities or ways to bond that align with your current lifestyle and values.
Find joy in supporting your friends’ dreams and goals, as this deepens connection and fuels mutual growth.
Recognize that shyness can be a form of selfishness, as holding back your unique talents and experiences robs others of the opportunity to benefit from your friendship and insights.
Recognize that it’s okay for friendships to evolve or for some to no longer align with your current values and lifestyle, and gracefully move on with thanks rather than holding onto relationships that no longer serve mutual growth.
Focus on having at least one person you can deeply connect with, rather than a large number of superficial friends, as quality is more important than quantity for meaningful relationships.