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Unlock The Power of Your Mind and Live Your Best Life Today with Lewis Howes #346

Mar 22, 2023 1h 54m 39 insights
TRIGGER WARNING: CONTAINS REFERENCES TO SEXUAL ABUSE What determines your success in life? Is it talent, opportunity, fate or luck? They can all be factors, but none of them determine your destiny. What does, according to today’s guest, is your mindset. Lewis Howes is a best-selling author and host of The School Of Greatness podcast. He was recognised by the White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in America under 30. He’s also author of a brand new book, The Greatness Mindset: Unlock The Power Of Your Mind And Live Your Best Life Today. Lewis firmly believes that we all have greatness within us but he says that the main enemy of greatness is the lack of a clear, meaningful mission. He believes we can all overcome our fears, self-doubt and rewrite the stories of our past to propel us into a brighter future. He is someone that most people would consider successful but this wasn’t always the case. It wasn’t until Lewis hit his 30s – around 10 years ago – that he faced his biggest fear. For years Lewis had stayed silent and felt shameful about the fact he was sexually abused as a child. He shares the extraordinarily moving story of how he finally opened up about this, and started his journey of healing. Of course, he was scared to do so like so many of us are, when it comes to talking about deeply personal experiences. In this episode, Lewis talks beautifully about the need for us to intentionally face our fears, the importance of letting go of guilt and shame, the particular struggles that men often feel when it comes to expressing their emotions, and the incredible power of forgiveness. This was a really powerful, raw and honest conversation. I hope you enjoy listening. Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore or https://fblm.supercast.com. Thanks to our
Actionable Insights

1. Process Emotional Traumas

Learn to process emotional and mental traumas and triggers that cause unhealthy reactions, as physical health practices alone (diet, exercise, sleep, cold/hot therapy, meditation) are insufficient for true well-being if these underlying issues are not addressed.

2. Heal Past Pain for Greatness

Understand that true greatness and fulfillment only begin when you make a conscious decision to heal the pain and trauma of your past, rather than just chasing external success.

3. Cultivate a Greatness Mindset

Understand that your mindset ultimately determines your success in life, including health, happiness, and relationships, so focus on developing a ‘Greatness Mindset’.

4. Define Meaningful Mission

Identify and clarify your meaningful mission, as lacking one is considered the main enemy of greatness and can lead to confusion and aimlessness.

5. Own and Process Your Past

Own your past, face it, address it, and process it through chosen healing modalities, as this is essential to prevent carrying old pain and stories into your future.

6. Cultivate Inner Peace & Abundance

Actively cultivate an internal environment of peace, harmony, and love, driving your actions from a sustainable energy of abundance rather than from fear, insecurity, or a sense of lack.

7. Seek Internal Harmony

Prioritize achieving internal harmony by facing your insecurities, shames, doubts, and pains, rather than equating greatness solely with external results and internal suffering.

8. Intentionally Face Fears

Intentionally face your fears to overcome them, as this is a crucial step towards healing and personal growth.

9. Create a Fear List

Create a list of fears and insecurities, then systematically ’train like an athlete’ by confronting them one by one until they no longer control your actions or courage.

10. Analyze Emotional Triggers

When you react emotionally, use it as an awareness cue to identify the underlying past wound or emotional trigger that is causing the reaction, and then work to heal it and create new meaning.

11. Process Emotions, Create Meaning

Fully feel and process the range of your emotions, then actively create new meaning around past experiences and strategize how to respond differently or protect yourself in future situations.

12. Integrate Daily Healing

Engage in daily intentional reflection and integration of healing practices to cultivate more consistent inner peace.

13. Commit Fully to Emotional Healing

Make a full commitment to emotional healing, being willing to do ‘whatever it takes’ through consistent, intensive work, even if it means prolonged sessions, to achieve peace, freedom, and clarity.

14. Work with Emotional Healing Coach

Engage in one-on-one emotional healing work with a well-trained licensed therapist or emotional coach, especially if you are struggling with specific areas like intimacy or relationships.

15. Engage in Group Emotional Workshops

Consider participating in intensive, retreat-style group workshops focused on emotional intelligence or leadership training to quickly and deeply reflect on your past and learn how you react with others when triggered.

16. Forgive Yourself, Self-Compassion

Forgive yourself for past self-criticism and the pain you’ve caused yourself, cultivating compassion and acceptance for your journey, rather than wishing you had acted differently sooner.

17. Forgive Others for Self-Peace

Learn to mentally, emotionally, and spiritually forgive those who have hurt you, even if they are no longer present, to release the pain and ‘poison’ within yourself, not necessarily to like the person.

18. Release Guilt and Shame

Recognize the importance of letting go of guilt and shame, as these emotions can hinder healing and personal progress.

19. Accept Your Past

Accept your past and be at peace with it, not necessarily liking everything that happened, but allowing this acceptance to give you permission to pursue future goals with a whole heart.

20. Believe You Are Worthy

Cultivate a belief in your own worthiness and deservingness to achieve your dreams, as this internal conviction is essential for pursuing goals wholeheartedly.

21. Cultivate Positive Self-Talk

Develop a healthy identity by becoming a positive self-coach, offering kind feedback to yourself rather than engaging in harsh self-criticism.

22. Unwire Negative Thought Patterns

Actively work to ‘unwire and unwind’ old lessons, ways of thinking, and living that are no longer serving your well-being.

23. Prioritize Internal Safety

Recognize that a lack of internal safety, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, rumination, and self-criticism, significantly harms your physical and mental health.

24. Challenge Emotional Suppression Norms

Be aware of and challenge cultural norms that discourage talking about shame, pain, and emotional challenges, especially for men, as suppression negatively impacts health and well-being.

25. Recognize Trauma Defense Mechanisms

Understand that behaviors like workaholism, shutting down, overeating, or addictions can be defense mechanisms developed to cope with past traumas and numb emotional pain.

26. Control Reaction & Meaning

Focus on how you react and respond to external events, and the meaning you place on them, as this determines your inner peace and purpose, rather than the events themselves.

27. Adopt Greatness Mindset Framework

Strive to embody the greatness mindset by being driven by a meaningful mission, turning fears into confidence, overcoming self-doubt, healing past pain, creating a healthy identity, and taking action with a clear game plan.

28. Develop Concise Guiding Mission

Articulate your meaningful mission in a single sentence to provide clear direction, aid decision-making, and enhance focus in your life.

29. Separate Mission from Mechanisms

Distinguish your overarching mission from the specific delivery mechanisms (e.g., job, platform) you use to fulfill it, as this provides resilience and prevents identity shattering if a mechanism is lost.

30. Acknowledge Life Seasons

Be clear and intentional about the current ‘season’ of your life (e.g., recovery, discovery), and align your mission and expectations accordingly.

31. Value Journey Over Outcome

Focus on and appreciate the growth, experiences, and learning gained during the pursuit of a mission, rather than solely fixating on the achievement of the end goal.

32. Shift to Greatness Through Service

Transform the pursuit of personal success into greatness by including the intention to be of service to others and to impact them positively in the process.

33. Serve Through Healed Pain

Use the lessons and insights gained from your healed pain to be of service to others, rather than letting unhealed pain drive your actions.

34. Strategically Share Vulnerabilities

When sharing deep vulnerabilities, first ask loved ones if they are in a good space to receive it and if anything you say could make them stop loving you, to create a safe environment for sharing.

35. Seek Guidance for Public Vulnerability

If considering sharing deeply personal experiences publicly, seek guidance from trusted friends or professionals to ensure it’s done safely and appropriately, with an intention of service.

36. Offer Unconditional Love

As a parent, ensure your children know they are loved unconditionally, irrespective of their achievements or behaviors, to foster internal security and a healthy self-worth.

37. Embrace Humiliation for Growth

Be willing to humiliate yourself and feel out of place during the learning process, as consistent practice through initial discomfort leads to improvement and confidence.

38. Cultivate Consistent Inner Peace

While meditation is helpful for recentering, the ultimate goal is to cultivate a consistent state of inner peace and harmony so you can manage life’s stresses without constantly needing to recenter, by healing from the inside out.

39. Assess Powerless Mindset

Regularly self-assess if you are exhibiting traits of a powerless mindset: lacking a meaningful mission, being controlled by fear, crippled by self-doubt, concealing past pains, defined by others’ opinions, or drifting towards complacency.