Learn to harness your inner voice to prevent negative self-talk and rumination, as it’s a powerful tool that can lead to happiness and productivity when used correctly, but destruction when used incorrectly.
When you notice yourself slipping into negative chatter, actively try to stop it quickly to free your inner voice for productive activities like planning and fantasizing.
Engage in “distanced self-talk” by silently coaching yourself through problems using your own name (e.g., “Ethan, what are you doing?”), as this leverages language to create psychological distance, helping you reframe threats as challenges and boost self-efficacy.
When experiencing chatter, broaden your perspective by stepping back or zooming out to focus on the bigger picture, which can provide alternative and useful ways of understanding your situation.
Practice “temporal distancing” by imagining how you will feel about a current stressful situation in the future (e.g., six months from now), as this can provide valuable perspective and reduce immediate chatter.
Avoid prolonged rumination and worry about negative events (like replaying an upsetting email), because maintaining a chronic stress state can lead to various physical health problems, including cardiovascular disease and inflammation.
When supporting someone with chatter, first connect by listening and validating their experience, then gently nudge them to broaden their perspective or consider solutions, rather than just letting them vent.
Curate a “board of advisors” by identifying specific people who can provide effective support for different types of problems, recognizing that not all close relationships are best for solution-oriented advice.
Offer “invisible support” by helping others without them explicitly asking or knowing you’re helping, especially when unsolicited advice might threaten their sense of self-efficacy.
When experiencing inner chaos or chatter, organize your physical space or engage in tidying up, as this “compensatory control” can provide a sense of order and help you feel better.
Develop and engage in personal rituals (structured sequences of behaviors) to gain a sense of order and control, distract your mind from problems, and potentially foster community.
Actively seek out experiences that evoke awe (e.g., nature, art, scientific marvels), as contemplating something vast can “shrink the self” and make your personal worries feel smaller, helping to rein in chatter.
Take walks in safe natural spaces to allow your attention to replenish through “soft fascination,” which helps recharge mental resources depleted by chatter and enables you to use other coping tools more effectively.
Use social media intentionally and strategically to avoid pitfalls like “doom scrolling” or collective co-rumination, and instead leverage it for positive support and connection.
Limit your consumption of news, especially if you find it keeps you locked in negative feelings and prevents you from moving towards solution-oriented thinking.
When experiencing positive emotions like joy or bliss, fully immerse yourself in them rather than creating distance or seeking objectivity, as these are moments to be embraced.
Teach children emotional management tools, such as distant self-talk (e.g., the “Batman effect” where they imagine being a superhero and coach themselves), to help them persevere in difficult situations from a young age.
Experiment with different combinations of tools and techniques to discover what specifically works best for you in managing chatter, as there is no single “magic bullet.”
Practice self-talk techniques, like using your own name, silently in your head to avoid violating social norms and potential social ramifications.
Recognize Solomon’s Paradox, where you’re better at advising others than yourself, and use this awareness to seek external perspectives or apply self-distancing techniques when struggling.
When someone is sharing a problem, ask if they want advice or just want to keep talking, as different people are ready for solutions at different times.
Refrain from posting or sharing on social media at the peak of strong negative emotions, as time often helps to temper emotional responses before sharing.
Be aware that social media lacks the empathy cues present in face-to-face interactions, which can lead to less constrained and potentially harmful communication like trolling or cyberbullying.
Avoid passive scrolling or “doom scrolling” on social media, as this behavior can exacerbate negative chatter and anxiety.
Actively curate your social media feed to ensure it provides content that is supportive and beneficial for your well-being, rather than passively consuming whatever appears.
Feel empowered to create your own idiosyncratic rituals, as they can be just as beneficial for managing chatter as culturally prescribed ones.