Recognize that while you cannot control the “first arrow” of life’s suffering (external events), you can always control your “second arrow” – your reaction to those events – and choose not to inflict additional self-suffering through negative responses.
Actively train and practice reframing challenging experiences to choose a narrative that promotes happiness and reduces frustration, rather than one that leads to sadness or resentment.
When experiencing negative emotions, pause, recognize the emotion, allow it to be present, and then mindfully investigate its physical sensations without judgment to gain control over your reactions.
Actively improve and make new social connections, including talking to strangers, as it is a necessary condition for high happiness and significantly boosts well-being.
Focus on doing nice things for other people, as research shows that spending money and time on others significantly boosts your own happiness more than self-focused “treat yourself” pursuits.
Regularly engage in gratitude practices, such as scribbling down three to five things you’re grateful for each night, as this can significantly boost well-being in as little as two weeks.
Engage in mindfulness practices to be in the present moment with an attitude of non-judgment, as this reduces mind-wandering and rumination, significantly improving well-being.
Before using your phone, ask yourself “What for?”, “Why now?”, and “What else?” to develop a more intentional and mindful relationship with technology, reducing its negative impact on attention and social connection.
Understand that cultivating happiness, positivity, and cheerfulness can directly improve physical health and longevity, rather than health being a prerequisite for happiness.
Actively work to return to a “natural state” of happiness by intentionally engaging in practices like being present, being challenged, and being social, as modern life often pulls us away from these innate sources of well-being.
Identify which happiness-boosting practices you are not naturally doing and focus your efforts there, as these are likely to provide the biggest impact on your well-being.
Consciously seek out and create opportunities for social interaction, especially during times when natural connections are reduced (e.g., working from home).
Prioritize social interactions that are genuinely enriching and leave you feeling good, rather than “NutraSweet” or superficial connections (e.g., endless social media scrolling) that may leave you feeling gross or unfulfilled.
Remove tempting apps from your phone or physically place your phone away (e.g., in a “phone bed”) to make it harder to access, thereby reducing automatic, unintentional usage.
Create explicit rules and norms within your family or social groups regarding phone usage (e.g., no phones at dinner, first to check phone pays the bill) to foster better social interaction and reduce distraction.
After engaging with technology (e.g., social media, gaming), pause and reflect on how you feel (e.g., apathetic, connected, crappy) to update your preferences and make more intentional choices about future use.
Recognize the brain’s disconnect between what you “want” (crave, motivated to do) and what you “like” (find truly rewarding). Intentionally pursue activities that genuinely make you feel good, even if they lack immediate strong motivation.
Reallocate saved time (e.g., from commuting) or small amounts of money (e.g., saved daily expenses) towards helping others or supporting causes you care about, as this can significantly boost well-being.
Supercharge your gratitude by expressing it directly to others, for example, by writing and delivering a gratitude letter to someone you should have thanked, as this can boost your well-being for over a month.
Use techniques like meditation, prayer, or even just three deep belly breaths to cultivate presence and mindfulness, which helps in noticing moments of joy and improving well-being.
Participate in religious or spiritual practices (e.g., attending services, prayer, charity) as they naturally incorporate elements like social connection, helping others, mindfulness, and a sense of meaning, all of which boost happiness.
If not religious, intentionally adopt the happiness-boosting frameworks found within religious practices (e.g., community, charity, mindfulness, purpose) and integrate them into your daily life.
Look to ancient practices and cultural rituals (e.g., siestas, Sabbaths, family dinners, giving thanks before meals) as they often contain time-tested strategies for well-being that modern science is now validating.
Strive to maximize both “happy in your life” (positive emotions, less negative) and “happy with your life” (satisfaction, meaning, purpose) for overall well-being.
Recognize that comparing your wealth, looks, or productivity to others often makes you feel worse, as the mind tends to pick comparisons that highlight perceived deficiencies.
Understand that acquiring material possessions provides only fleeting happiness and does not lead to lasting well-being.
Engage in regular exercise to significantly impact and improve your happiness.
Ensure you get sufficient sleep to positively impact and improve your happiness.
After difficult periods (like a pandemic), intentionally appreciate the simple things that were once taken for granted (e.g., coffee shops, unmasked interactions, hugs) to boost happiness.