Actively cultivate multiple sources of status or identity in your life, such as through hobbies, work, or volunteering. This acts as a hedge, providing resilience and stability if one area of your life faces setbacks, making ‘down days’ less severe.
Mute social media accounts that make you feel bad or inferior, even if you rationally know people only present their best selves. Your subconscious still takes in negative messages, and muting is a practical way to protect your mental health without unfollowing.
Consider volunteering or engaging in activities that allow you to be of value to others, like Will Storr did with Samaritans. This creates a new ‘status game’ for yourself, providing a powerful signal to your subconscious brain that you are of value, leading to gratification and well-being.
Reframe your understanding of ‘status’ from wealth, celebrity, or material possessions to simply ‘being valued’ by others. This broader understanding helps you recognize that status is a fundamental human need that can be earned in many ways (moral, competence-based) and is not inherently negative.
Become aware of who or what sets your personal ‘good enough’ bar, recognizing that culture, social media, and celebrities often set it unreasonably high. An excessively high bar leads to chronic feelings of inferiority, stress, and contributes to mental health problems like anxiety and depression.
Concentrate on the ‘small status games’ within your immediate community and social circles rather than comparing yourself to people vastly above you on a global scale. Our brains are evolved to play status games in small groups, making local focus more natural and less stressful than competing in enormous global games.
If you are feeling isolated or lonely, actively seek out group activities or communities that provide human connection, even if it feels uncomfortable initially. Human connection is a vital ‘social vitamin’ that can significantly improve well-being, as Will experienced through volunteering.
Identify if any of your current sources of status or social groups have become toxic or are hindering your positive health changes. Have the courage to disengage from them if they are detrimental to your well-being.
Frame your health goals as a ‘status game’ within a supportive community, similar to how organizations like CrossFit or Weight Watchers operate. Being part of a group where progress is shared and celebrated can make health changes more engaging and successful due to social rewards.
Reflect on your identities—your hobbies, roles, and what you believe you are good at—to identify the status games you are currently playing. If you find no sources of value, it’s a problem to address, as status is an essential social nutrient for your sense of self.
When you find yourself comparing yourself to others or feeling inferior, practice self-compassion and forgiveness. Comparing is an automatic function of the brain’s ‘status detection system’ and affects everyone, even those with immense status.
Recognize that happiness is not a fixed destination tied to specific achievements like getting a new phone or a better job; life is an ongoing game without a definitive ‘happy ending.’ This understanding can prevent exhaustion from constant striving for an elusive goal and foster contentment in the process.
Be mindful of the potential for ‘performative vulnerability’ or ‘performative authenticity’ in yourself and others, especially online. When high-status individuals broadcast misery, misery itself can become high status, leading to people performing sadness for validation.
When pursuing goals like money or security, recognize that the underlying, more fundamental human drive is often status. Understanding this can help re-evaluate motivations and find more direct paths to feeling valued, rather than solely chasing financial metrics.
Be aware of how the prevailing culture of hyper-competition and individualism (neoliberalism) might be influencing your perception of ‘good enough.’ This cultural shift has raised the bar for what is considered sufficient status to ‘crazy levels,’ contributing to widespread feelings of not being good enough.