Challenge the modern cultural notion that ‘self’ is synonymous with the individual; instead, expand your definition to include relationships with all people and nature to avoid a narrow, isolated view that can lead to division and societal problems.
Recognize that you don’t have to choose between your individual ‘me’ self and your relational ‘we’ self; embrace ‘MWE’ to acknowledge you are both, fostering a sense of interconnectedness and wholeness.
Pursue personal growth, authentic self-expression, and passions without it coming at the expense of others; strive for a win-win scenario where your success supports those around you.
Be cautious of believing any aspect of your identity or personality is fixed, as this belief can prevent change; instead, adopt a growth mindset to recognize your capacity for transformation.
For genuine personal growth and evolution, move beyond blaming others or past situations for your current state, as this shift is crucial for personal development.
Understand that your current feelings are often shaped by your interpretation of past events, not just the events themselves, allowing you to reframe experiences and adopt new, empowering perspectives.
Recognize and believe in your significant capacity to change aspects of your life and personality, rather than feeling stuck with what you consider to be your fixed traits.
Strive for a state of inner peace where you feel you have and are ’enough,’ as this sense of contentment is a key indicator of happiness and wholeness.
Understand that your personality, with all its dimensions, can be seen as a lifelong journey or adaptive strategy to return to a state of wholeness that was implicitly experienced before birth.
Cultivate a state of open, receptive awareness, as this intentional way of living leads to positive physiological changes, increased brain integration, and improved overall well-being.
Engage in the Wheel of Awareness practice by strengthening focused attention, cultivating open awareness, and fostering kind intention, as these three pillars of mind training lead to a deep sense of well-being and brain integration.
Regularly practice the Wheel of Awareness to shift your personality from a rigid ‘prison’ to a flexible ‘playground,’ fostering greater freedom and ease of being.
Strive to operate from a place of love, rather than fear, by cultivating open awareness, kind intention, and compassion in your daily life.
Start your day with an intentional morning routine that includes practices like meditation, breathwork, movement, and journaling, concluding by consciously deciding how you want to show up in the world that day.
To foster secure attachment in your children and become a better human, prioritize making sense of your own childhood experiences and how they affected you.
To become a better parent, start by reading ‘Parenting from the Inside Out’ to understand the science of attachment and process your own childhood experiences before focusing on specific parenting techniques.
Recognize that perfect parenting is impossible; instead, focus on being present, having good intentions, and being mindful, knowing that you can always make repairs and apologize when you make mistakes.
As a parent, tune into and understand your child’s innate temperament, allowing them to thrive based on who they are, rather than projecting your own expectations onto them.
When parenting, focus on praising the effort a child exerts rather than solely the outcome or result of their actions, as this fosters resilience and a growth mindset.
Develop the learnable skill of ‘seeing’ your child, meaning using a ‘mindsight lens’ to understand their inner mental life, including their feelings, intentions, and what has meaning for them, leading to secure attachment.
When your child is distressed, practice ‘soothing’ by staying present and receptive, holding space for their feelings without becoming reactive yourself, which helps their immature nervous system calm down and builds secure connection.
Ensure your child feels ‘safe’ by protecting them from injury and by not being a source of emotional fear; this includes managing your own reactive states and making repairs if you unintentionally terrify them.
Practice the Wheel of Awareness to access a state of pure awareness and wholeness, which can help you overcome feelings of hate or fear towards others and foster a sense of deep connection and love, recognizing our shared humanity.
Understand that your positive influence, like a lit candle, can inspire and enlighten others without diminishing your own light, encouraging you to spread kindness and connection.
Don’t strive for perfect offerings; instead, embrace the imperfections and ‘cracks’ in everything, as these are often the places where light and new possibilities can enter.
To deepen your understanding and retention of information, make an effort to teach what you’ve learned to someone else, as this process benefits both you and the learner.
Recognize that you are the architect of your own health and that making lifestyle changes is always worthwhile, as feeling better directly leads to living more fully.
Act with awareness and intentionality in your life to make choices, rather than simply reacting on automatic pilot, as this holds incredible potential for human progress.
To effectively and productively address struggles or problems, accurately determine the underlying ‘why’ or truth of their cause.
Utilize your capacity for awareness and self-awareness to consciously awaken yourself from operating on automatic pilot.
Expand your definition of self to include your relationships with all people, regardless of differences, and even all living beings, fostering a sense of being part of a larger human family and nature.
To learn and practice the Wheel of Awareness, visit drdansiegel.com for free resources or read the companion book ‘Becoming Aware’ for a 21-day challenge.
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Explore Dr. Chatterjee’s five bestselling books, available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats, covering various topics like happiness, food, stress, and behavior change.
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