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The 3 Key Ingredients For A Thriving Relationship, Practical Strategies To Manage Conflict & How To Build Deeper Relationships with Yung Pueblo #531

Mar 5, 2025 1h 56m 23 insights
How much of your relationship tension comes from expectations that were never communicated? And what if changing the way you handle conflict could completely transform them?   While we often dedicate countless hours to our careers, many of us never devote time to the basics of emotional awareness. Yet my guest today believes that learning to love better might be the most important, transformative journey we can undertake.   Diego Perez, widely known by his pen name, Yung Pueblo, is followed by millions of people all around the world who are keen to learn from his wisdom. He’s the author of multiple best-selling books, including his very latest How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness and Compassion.   In this powerful conversation, you'll hear about: Diego's remarkable journey from addiction to transformation - including how meditation became the cornerstone of his recovery and personal growth The three essential qualities that meditation can cultivate - discover how self-awareness, non-reactivity, and compassion can transform your relationships The art of conscious communication - learn practical strategies for moving from conflict to understanding in your relationships The concept of "selfless listening" - discover how to truly hear your partner without preparing your response The three key ingredients for thriving relationships - explore how kindness, growth, and compassion create deeper connections Practical conflict resolution strategies - learn how to handle disagreements constructively and use them as opportunities for growth   Whether you're in a relationship or not, Diego's insights offer valuable wisdom for anyone looking to develop deeper connections and better understand themselves.  It’s a conversation about love, growth, and the courage to face ourselves honestly. Understanding that true change starts within and that our relationships can be our greatest teachers on the path to becoming better humans. Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.   Thanks to our
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Daily Meditation Practice

Dedicate time daily to meditation, even if starting small (e.g., cutting out Netflix or dilly-dallying time), as it’s considered the best investment for internal transformation and deeper relationships. Think of it as essential as drinking water for continuous learning, growth, and self-awareness.

2. Cultivate Self-Awareness, Non-Reactivity, Compassion

Engage in practices like Vipassana meditation to actively strengthen these mental ‘muscles.’ This training helps observe emotions without attachment, reduce mental tension, and foster a balanced, less reactive response to life’s challenges.

3. Embrace Impermanence to Reduce Attachment

Through meditation, focus on feeling the pervasive change within your body and mind. Tapping into this universal truth helps cultivate a mindset opposite to clinging and craving, making life less hard by allowing emotions and situations to flow and pass.

4. Practice Radical Honesty with Yourself

Confront the truth about your feelings, habits, and health, even if it’s uncomfortable. Dishonesty creates internal distance and tension, whereas self-honesty is a key pillar of self-love and the starting point for all personal growth and transformation.

5. Understand Love as an Intentional Practice

Recognize that love is more than just a feeling; it requires intention, care, and skill to cultivate. Approach relationships with the understanding that they demand continuous effort and conscious engagement to thrive.

6. Practice Conscious Emotional Communication

Regularly share with your partner how your emotions are changing throughout the day (e.g., morning, afternoon). This helps prevent projecting blame, decreases arguments, and fosters mutual understanding and support.

7. Cultivate Kindness, Growth, and Compassion in Relationships

Actively bring sweetness and your best self to your partner (kindness), accept that relationships are a mirror for your own necessary individual development (growth), and make an effort to step outside your perspective to understand your partner’s view (compassion).

8. Aim for Understanding, Not Winning, in Arguments

When conflicts arise, shift your goal from dominating the narrative to genuinely understanding your partner’s perspective. Both parties trying to win leads to mutual loss, while mutual understanding dissolves tension and strengthens connection.

9. Practice Selfless Listening During Disagreements

When your partner is speaking, focus entirely on listening to understand their perspective, rather than formulating your retort. Actively bring your mind back to their words if it wanders, demonstrating compassion in practice.

10. Use ‘I’ Statements to Own Your Feelings

Frame your feelings from your perspective (e.g., ‘I felt upset when X happened’) instead of blaming your partner (‘You made me upset’). This empowers you, relieves the blame game, and clarifies your experience.

11. Be Honest Without Being Dramatic

Express your truth during arguments without embellishing or escalating the situation with unnecessary drama. Remind yourself that your partner is not an enemy, and aim for factual honesty over a dramatic version of events.

12. Ask if an Issue Can Be Let Go

Before escalating a minor disagreement, pause and consider if an apology is truly necessary or if the issue is petty and not worthy of prolonged conflict. Many arguments stem from misnamed tension rather than genuine grievances.

13. Take Responsibility for Your Role in Conflicts

Acknowledge and apologize for your mistakes or contributions to a disagreement. Owning your part helps resolve conflict and allows for new commitments as relationships evolve through different life stages.

14. Pause and Revisit Conversations When Triggered

If you feel agitated or triggered during a discussion, communicate your state and suggest revisiting the conversation later when you both feel calmer. It’s acceptable to take a breath and come back to yourself before continuing.

15. Live in Your Own Energy

Consciously choose not to absorb or join in chaotic or angry energy from others, including your partner. By maintaining your own peaceful energy, you can invite others to join you in calm rather than escalating tension.

16. Practice ‘Starting with Zero’ in Interactions

Periodically conduct an experiment where you imagine meeting your partner for the first time in every interaction. This practice helps you approach them with more presence and less pre-conditioning from past assumptions or history.

17. Balance Giving and Receiving in Relationships

Identify whether you tend to be more of a giver or a receiver and intentionally work to balance these roles. Both partners consciously giving without being prompted leads to a more fulfilling relationship.

18. Communicate Needs, Avoid Silent Expectations

Clearly express your needs and how your partner can support your happiness, rather than relying on unexpressed expectations. Unmet, uncommunicated expectations are a major source of relationship conflict.

19. Be Vocal About Your Personal Growth

Recognize that both you and your partner will evolve over time, with changing preferences and desires. Openly communicate your growth to ensure your relationship adapts and continues to meet both individuals’ evolving needs.

20. Recognize Imperfect Perception in Conflicts

Understand that your perception is inherently imperfect and often an evaluation driven by past experiences, making true objectivity difficult. This awareness helps you approach disagreements with less certainty and more openness to other viewpoints.

21. Address Unhealthy Habits with Radical Honesty

Confront the stories you tell yourself about your health (e.g., ‘I’m young, I’m fine’) and acknowledge the truth of your physical and mental state. This radical honesty is the first step towards making necessary, transformative health changes.

22. Start Small with Health Changes

Begin your health transformation with simple, manageable steps, such as long walks or incorporating nutritious foods. Even tiny changes can profoundly impact your well-being and build momentum for further improvement.

23. Utilize Diverse Self-Development Tools

Explore the vast array of self-development tools available, such as journaling, gratitude practices, therapy, yoga, or various forms of meditation. Find what resonates with you to cultivate qualities that enhance your life and relationships.