Focus on whether daily experiences genuinely make you feel good, rather than living according to external expectations (parents, society, historical accident) about what should make you happy.
Acknowledge that willpower is often weak and instead focus on ‘design power’ by structuring your environment and routines to make desired behaviors automatic and easy, and undesired behaviors difficult.
When you have an intention to change behavior (e.g., work out more, read more), develop a detailed, step-by-step plan for how you will implement that intention to ensure it actually happens.
To successfully implement behavioral changes, make the desired actions as easy as possible to perform, as this increases the likelihood of them becoming encoded as habits.
Consciously make undesirable actions more effortful to perform, while simultaneously making desirable actions easier, to shift your behavior towards positive habits.
To break bad habits, remove temptations from your environment; to build good habits, place cues for desired behaviors prominently in your surroundings.
Actively choose to spend time with people who engage in the behaviors you want to adopt, as social norms and peer effects significantly influence your own actions and habits.
Design your life to include a personalized balance of experiences that you find both fun (pleasure) and meaningful/fulfilling (purpose) to achieve happiness.
Recognize that while poverty, lack of status, and ignorance are detrimental to happiness, there’s a point of ‘just enough’ wealth, success, and education beyond which more does not significantly increase happiness; avoid the endless pursuit of ‘more’.
Focus on alleviating suffering and misery, both for yourself and others, as this is not only inherently good but also creates positive spillover effects for broader well-being and society.
Actively practice kindness, compassion, and gratitude, as these attributes are strongly linked to increased happiness, better health, and a longer life.
Cultivate compassion, a more detached form of caring, over empathy, as compassion encourages you to think broadly about where your time and money can do the most good, rather than limiting your help to those who are similar to you.
To achieve significant positive effects, concentrate on making small, manageable changes in your daily life rather than aiming for large, overwhelming transformations.
Recognize that ’not having time’ often means ’not prioritizing’ an activity; consciously allocate time in your diary for things you want to do to ensure they happen.
Actively incorporate activities known to improve mental health and feelings of well-being, such as listening to music, spending time outdoors, and connecting with friends, into your routine.
To make exercise a habit, find a gym buddy and establish a fixed time, day, and place for your workouts, turning it into a routine that requires less conscious effort.
Reflect honestly on your job to identify which aspects genuinely bring you happiness and which are driven by external expectations or societal narratives, allowing you to align your work with your true self.
Actively challenge and question your deeply held beliefs and societal narratives about what should make you happy, even if it feels uncomfortable, to reflect on whether your current path truly aligns with your well-being.
Be mindful that comparing your wealth or possessions to those who have more (upward social comparison) can decrease your happiness, as it often leads to envy and dissatisfaction.
Understand that happiness is entirely subjective and personal; accept and value your own unique feelings and experiences as the true measure of your well-being, rather than external standards.
Recognize that individual happiness is influenced by societal norms; advocate for broader social changes that shift collective values towards rewarding pro-social attributes and different kinds of success, rather than solely wealth and status.
If competition is inevitable, direct it towards attributes that are pro-social and beneficial for society, rather than solely focusing on personal wealth, status, or material gain.
Acknowledge and celebrate the personal benefits (e.g., feeling better about yourself, increased self-worth) that come from helping others, rather than dismissing actions as non-altruistic if they have any self-serving component.
When evaluating altruistic behavior, prioritize the actual positive consequences and outcomes for those being helped, rather than overly scrutinizing the intentions or motivations of the giver.
Focus on improving your overall health and well-being not just to reduce illness, but because feeling better physically and mentally enables you to get more out of life and enjoy it more fully.
Understand that true purpose and meaning are found in the actual experiences and actions you engage in day-to-day, rather than in the narratives or stories you tell yourself about those roles or activities.
For important life events and relationships, focus on intrinsic motivations and genuine connection rather than seeking extrinsic validation or social approval, which can be detrimental (e.g., expensive weddings correlating with higher divorce rates).
Be aware of the difference between your own personal stories and the broader social narratives that dictate how you ‘ought’ to live; challenge social narratives that may not align with your true happiness.
Question the societal narrative that marriage and children are prerequisites for happiness; recognize that for some, particularly women, choosing not to marry or have children can correlate with higher happiness and health.
Adopt a non-judgmental attitude towards others’ life choices and pursuits, as long as they are not causing harm, recognizing that individual paths to happiness are diverse and personal.
Be honest with yourself and others about the realities of parenting, acknowledging that children bring both joy and significant periods of stress, worry, and anxiety, rather than conforming to an idealized narrative.
When raising children, genuinely focus on what makes them happy, rather than imposing your own narratives or expectations about what should make them happy, which are often based on societal ideals.
Engage children in discussions about charitable giving, exploring which causes to support and the most effective ways to deliver benefits, to foster a deeper understanding of altruism beyond personal gain.
Challenge the societal definition of social mobility as solely higher status and pay, and instead consider true advancement as becoming more kind, grateful, and compassionate.