Instead of seeking solutions to problems, which reinforces the belief that you have a problem, aim for a process of ‘dissolution’ to access spiritual freedom and awaken to your true essence.
When you get upset by something or someone, view it as an opportunity to discover where you are not free. This allows you to self-examine what is being triggered within you, rather than blaming external circumstances.
Understand that nobody truly ‘upsets’ you; rather, their actions or words trigger an upset that was already within you. This perspective shifts you from victimhood to taking responsibility for your emotional state.
Shift from being a victim of life’s circumstances to taking full responsibility for your relationship to life. Recognize that your own interpretation and narrative determine whether something is perceived as good or bad.
Understand that if you had another person’s conditioning, upbringing, and life experiences, you would behave in exactly the same way. This perspective fosters compassion and reduces judgment towards others, even those who upset you.
Stop making yourself wrong, as self-forgiveness is identified as the greatest barrier to inner peace. Extending compassion to yourself is a profound step towards transforming your internal state and external relationships.
Recognize the disservice of making another human being wrong in any capacity. This practice opens up a world of compassion, love, and acceptance, freeing you from needing others to behave a certain way for your own peace.
Prioritize listening in all your communications, aiming to truly understand another person’s reality rather than just reacting or trying to fix them. This is the greatest gift you can give in any relationship, fostering deeper connection.
Make room for the full spectrum of human emotions, including feelings of inadequacy or sadness, in yourself and others. Suppressing these emotions or immediately trying to ‘fix’ them teaches that they are unacceptable, hindering true self-acceptance.
Shift your definition of success from external metrics like wealth or status to your ability to be at peace and comfortable in your own skin, regardless of external chaos. This internal state is the true measure of a successful human being.
Cultivate contentment with life as it is right now, rather than perpetually waiting for happiness to arrive with future goals or aspirations. You can still pursue goals, but maintain an intimate, accepting relationship with the present moment.
Become aware of your deep subconscious patterns, tendencies, and conditioned responses, especially those rooted in childhood. Bringing these primal survival mechanisms to conscious awareness is the first step towards freedom.
Regularly inquire into the underlying motivation behind your daily routines and behaviors. Ensure they are founded in self-love and appreciation, rather than driven by feelings of inadequacy or a need for survival.
Consciously slow down your pace of life, especially if you’re always rushing towards a future state of peace. Take a breath, sit quietly, and be present in the moment, rather than perpetually waiting for happiness.
Talk about your internal narratives and emotional stories with a therapist, counselor, or an emotionally detached third party. This external perspective can help you see where you’re being harsh on yourself or holding onto untrue beliefs.
Engage in journaling to externalize your thoughts and stories, allowing you to gain perspective and identify where you might be too harsh on yourself. Seeing your thoughts on paper can reveal their illusory nature.
Do not be embarrassed by your feelings; instead, find a safe person or environment, whether professional, family, or a close friend, where you can openly express what you feel without judgment.
Avoid identifying yourself with your physical form by saying ‘I am fat’ or ‘I am overweight.’ Understand that your true self is not your physical body, and separating your identity from your appearance can free you from self-defeating beliefs.
Actively inquire if your self-deprecating beliefs, such as ‘I am not enough,’ are truly facts or merely opinions. Releasing these false beliefs can lead to an immense emotional ‘weight loss’ and a feeling of lightness.
Recognize that physical issues like obesity often stem from ’emotional obesity,’ which is the accumulation of unexpressed trauma, emotions, or feelings of not being loved or accepted. Identify if you are using food to cope with deep-seated emotional pain.
Recognize that true nourishment extends beyond food to include love, physical touch, emotional support, and feeling seen and heard. If these forms of nourishment are lacking, you might inadvertently seek comfort in food.
To cultivate self-love, reflect on the unconditional love you’d feel for a baby or a loved one, and recognize that same preciousness and worth within yourself. Use affirmations like ‘I am enough’ to reinforce this inherent value.
Approach self-improvement by first embracing a ‘feminine’ energy of unconditional love and acceptance for your current state. Once self-acceptance is established, then apply ‘masculine’ energy to logically commit to choices and strategies for change, acting from choice rather than reaction.
When pursuing goals like weight loss, set realistic, long-term timeframes (e.g., 10 months for 60 pounds). This approach provides ‘breathing room,’ reduces pressure, and fosters self-compassion, preventing self-sabotage.
Begin expressing self-love through small, achievable actions, such as slightly reducing a habitual indulgence. These small, consistent steps move the needle towards self-care and build momentum.
Apply the same patience and gentleness to yourself that you would to a child learning a new skill. Understand that personal growth is a process that takes time, and self-patience is an essential act of self-love.
Become aware of and stop using self-defeating language and thoughts that reinforce beliefs like ’things don’t work out for me.’ Arguing for your inadequacies reinforces them, hindering your potential.
On days when you feel lousy or not at your best, don’t wallow; instead, bring love and acceptance to your humanity. Allow yourself rest (early bed, nap, bath) or seek connection (walk in nature, talk to a friend) rather than pushing through.