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Mel Robbins on How To Take Control of Your Life With One Simple Habit (Re-release) #622

Feb 8, 2026 2h 24m 13 insights
Mel Robbins is one of the most sort after motivational speakers in the world. Her TED talk has been viewed almost 27 million times and she's also the best-selling author of several books, including her latest one, The High Five Habit: Take Control of Your Life With One Simple Habit. In today's conversation, Mel explains that all of us know what we need to do for the best in any given situation but it’s acting on that knowledge that’s hard. It’s so easy to be impulsive or fall into old habits. And I think this is where Mel really comes into her own. Her approach is all about practical, real life advice that busy people with busy lives can easily implement. A prime example is something that Mel calls the five second rule. This is a rule that stops negative thinking in its tracks, and immediately breaks the feedback loop of procrastination and moves us into taking action. It changes a bias of thinking into a bias of action, giving you the confidence to try when you're full of doubt. In fact, it's so simple that my 11 year old son has already seen its benefits in his own life over the past few weeks. We also talk about The High Five Habit (which is the title of Mel’s new book) - this is the idea that by simply giving yourself a high five in the mirror each morning, you can experience transformative effects in your life. This simple exercise is about recognizing yourself and asking yourself what the person looking back at you in the mirror really needs and by doing so, Mel explains that you are retraining your brains neural pathways and convincing your subconscious that you are someone who is worthy of celebration. This really is a wide ranging and in-depth conversation. There is something quite unique about the connection that Mel has with her audience and the way she delivers her message. I think a lot of it comes down to her raw honesty, and the fact that all of her methods are borne out of her own lived experience. She's been there and she is very happy to share her struggles, her insecurities and her battles. I certainly got a lot out of this conversation and I think you will as well.   Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Thanks to our
Actionable Insights

1. Practice the High Five Habit

Every morning, after brushing your teeth, look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a high-five. This physical action retrains your brain’s neural pathways, convinces your subconscious you are worthy of celebration, and builds self-empowerment, respect, and love, leading to a breakthrough in how you see and relate to yourself within five days.

2. Implement the Five-Second Rule

When you feel hesitation or negative thoughts, count down “5-4-3-2-1” and immediately take action. This interrupts procrastination and negative thinking patterns, shifting your bias from thinking to doing, and building confidence by pushing you to try despite doubt.

3. Grant Yourself Permission to Be Happy

Acknowledge that you deserve to feel better and give yourself permission to pursue happiness. This internal awakening is the fundamental step towards making changes and enjoying your life.

4. Break Cycles of Self-Criticism

Recognize that self-criticism and self-rejection are often learned generational patterns. By practicing self-acceptance and self-compassion, you can break these cycles and model a different way for future generations.

5. Embody Your Desired Self

To become the person you aspire to be, consciously act like that person. This behavioral activation therapy helps to change your brain’s structure over time, aligning your actions with your intentions.

6. Focus on Simple, Keystone Habits

When facing overwhelming problems or goals, identify and implement one simple keystone habit. Complex advice often leads to inaction, while small, simple actions can initiate significant positive change and unlock other beneficial habits.

7. Allow Emotional Waves to Pass

Understand that emotional waves (disappointment, rage, stress) happen before rational thought. Don’t resist these feelings; allow them to come, feel them, and then consciously choose what you tell yourself about the situation.

8. Communicate Emotions Responsibly

Before venting or expressing strong emotions, pause and check with your loved ones if they have the capacity to listen. This shows respect for their emotional state and prevents unintended harm to relationships.

9. Ask What Others Need

In close relationships, when someone shares a problem or expresses anxiety, ask if they want a solution or simply a listening ear. This clarifies their needs and fosters more effective, empathetic communication.

10. Trust Something Better Is Coming

When facing rejection or disappointment despite hard work, choose to believe that the current situation is preparing you for something better. This optimistic mindset helps maintain resilience and drive.

11. Question Negative Thoughts

When your mind is hijacked by worries and negative hypotheticals, pause and ask yourself, “What if it all works out?” This shifts your perspective and helps break the cycle of anxiety-inducing thoughts.

12. Own Your Achievements

When you achieve something or make positive changes, acknowledge that you are the one who did the work and deserve the credit. This reinforces your agency and self-efficacy.

13. Praise Character, Not Just Looks

When complimenting children or others, focus on their character attributes like loyalty, intelligence, or hard work, rather than solely on their physical appearance. This helps build their self-worth beyond external validation.