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Matthew McConaughey on How To Be More You #134

Nov 25, 2020 1h 38m 30 insights
CAUTION ADVISED: this podcast contains swearing. When I started these podcasts, back in January 2018, my aim was to connect with people who had new and exciting views on how we can feel better and get more out of life. Little did I know that would lead me to today’s episode, where I chat to one of the world’s most famous Hollywood actors. Matthew McConaughey might not immediately spring to mind as a self-help guru. Yet for his 2014 Oscar acceptance speech he memorably shared some of the tenets by which he lives his life and to which he owes his success. And Matthew now shares his wisdom in his new book, ‘Greenlights: Raucous stories and outlaw wisdom’, which has already become a bestseller all over the globe. Based on the journals he’s kept since he was a teenager, it’s part autobiography, part guide to living – and 100 per cent inspiration. I was so pleased to learn Matthew wanted to come on the podcast and was prepared to give me 90 minutes of his time, something almost unheard of in stars of his magnitude. But as you’ll hear in this episode, Matthew isn’t your typical movie star. Authenticity is very important to Matthew, as is his quest to, in his words, “Be more me.” And that starts with eliminating what is not you. In Matthew’s own life, key examples include his decision to leave law school and become an actor, and later to turn down vast sums of money to leave the rom-com genre behind. Whilst he acknowledges the financial privilege that allowed him to take these risks, his lesson is about being true to yourself and your values, which is relevant for all of us. He says we should make sure we are feeding our soul account as well as our bank account, investing spiritually as well as financially. We cover so many topics during this entertaining chat, from our favourite U2 album to the current state of society as well as the incredible value of journaling. Whilst Matthew’s approach isn’t to give advice, there’s plenty of wisdom in the colourful stories and examples from his life that he shares. The beautiful thing about living, he says, is that you’re the author of your life’s story. So be cool to your future self. That’s some pretty awesome A-list advice I think we can all benefit from. Show notes available at drchatterjee.com/134 Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee/ Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Actionable Insights

1. Be Kind to Future Self

Make choices today that are kind to your future self by lengthening your view, envisioning your eulogy, and writing your life’s ‘headline’ to guide your actions.

2. Eliminate What Is Not You

Focus on eliminating aspects of your life, behavior, or expressions that are not authentically you, as this is a foundational step to being more yourself and reducing pressure.

3. Feed Your Soul Account

Invest spiritually as well as financially to ensure your life is balanced and fulfilling, not just materially prosperous.

4. Journal Success for Recalibration

Journal not just during failures, but also during times of success to record your habits, routines, and mindset when things are going well, allowing you to reference these patterns for recalibration during future ruts.

5. Embrace Responsibility for Freedom

Understand that true freedom comes with responsibility, and conversely, embracing responsibility can lead to greater freedom in your life.

6. Seek Solitude for Self-Confrontation

Regularly seek solitude, intentionally removing distractions like the internet or phone, to confront yourself, work through internal conflicts, and achieve clarity and presence, even if the initial period is uncomfortable.

7. Use Friction for Growth

Actively seek out and analyze ‘friction’ in your life – moments when something bothers you or gets a rise out of you – as these are opportunities to learn about yourself and understand why you are being triggered.

8. Act Boldly Despite Nerves

Acknowledge pre-situation nerves but push past them, acting boldly and believing in yourself more than you initially do, as you often perform better in reality than you anticipate in your dreams.

9. Don’t Ask Permission, Just Act

Stop overthinking or seeking permission; instead, ’throw yourself in the ring’ and ‘go find out’ by taking action directly.

10. Consider Long-Term Choice Residuals

When making choices, project yourself into the future (as far as you can – a week, a month, a year, or even to your eulogy) and consider what ‘residuals’ that choice will yield and how you will feel about it then.

11. Deny Soul-Debiting Choices

Recognize the great value in denying choices that might offer short-term gains (like money) but ultimately act as ‘debits to your soul,’ moving you away from your authentic self.

12. Seek Solar-Powered Green Lights

Prioritize pursuing ‘solar-powered green lights’ – choices and opportunities that provide long-term, sustained benefits and continue to have a positive impact beyond your lifetime, rather than short-term ‘battery-powered’ gains.

13. Embrace Resistance for Evolution

View resistance, challenges, and ‘red lights’ not as obstacles but as necessary forces that slow you down, stop you, and ultimately help you grow and evolve.

14. Embrace Your Flaws

Don’t deny your flaws, scars, or imperfections; instead, look them in the eye and work towards moving from embarrassment to laughter, or from shame to forgiveness.

15. Write Your Future Headline

Define who you want to be in the future (e.g., in 10 years) by writing that ‘headline’ first, then consciously live your life story in alignment with that aspirational vision.

16. Align Work with Life Vitality

Strive to align your work and career with the vitality and aliveness you feel in your personal life, seeking challenges that match your emotional and energetic state.

17. Find Lessons in Hardships

Recognize that ‘red and yellow lights’ (hardships, crises) often contain valuable lessons, even if those lessons are not immediately apparent and may only be understood much later in life or even across generations.

18. Engage in Eye-Level Communication

When interacting with others, especially those with differing views, make an effort to meet them, look them in the eye, and talk to them directly, as this makes it harder to harm or illegitimize their perspective.

19. Resolve Internal Issues Privately

Address and resolve your internal conflicts and issues in private solitude to prevent them from surfacing clumsily or awkwardly in important social situations with loved ones.

20. Practice Daily Self-Maintenance

Engage in daily self-maintenance, similar to a weekly spiritual check-in, to consistently work on yourself, apply lessons, and address internal needs, recognizing that continuous effort is required.

21. Daily Inventory & Future Goals

At the end of each day, conduct an inventory of your day’s events from waking to bedtime, and then create a list of goals for the next day, which helps with self-awareness and better sleep.

22. Use Exercise to Manage Stress

Engage in exercise and a good sweat to alleviate stress, transforming overwhelming vertical burdens into manageable tasks laid out horizontally, making them easier to tackle.

23. Value Stress, Guilt, Fear

Recognize that stress, guilt, and fear can be valuable emotions, as stress indicates you care, and all three can serve as motivators or guides for personal growth.

24. Find Selfish-Selfless Overlap

Strive to find the ‘honey hole’ where what’s best for you (’the I’) is also best for the collective (’the we’), recognizing that truly selfless acts often have a deeply personal and beneficial return.

25. Act on Personal Benefit

Understand that people are most motivated to act when something is deeply personal; realize that seemingly selfless acts, like fostering connection, are also deeply selfish because they ultimately pay you back.

26. Trust the Boomerang Effect

Trust that positive actions and intentions you put out into the world will eventually return to you, even if there’s an initial fear of loss, much like a boomerang.

27. Test Relationships with Inauthenticity

To gauge the authenticity of relationships, occasionally try something you know is inauthentic and observe the other person’s response to see if they truly perceive you accurately.

28. Don’t Settle for ‘Happy Here’

Avoid settling for merely being ‘happy to be here’ or accepting opportunities out of complacency; instead, strive for choices that genuinely challenge and fulfill you beyond basic satisfaction.

29. Think ‘Long Money’ for Soul

Apply the concept of ’long money’ not just to financial gains, but to choices in all areas of life (career, relationships) that provide lasting fulfillment and enrich your ‘soul’s account’.

30. Maintain a Journal

Engage in journaling as a phenomenal life skill and tool to get to know yourself better, understand your experiences, and track your personal evolution.