Embrace solitude to cultivate self-knowledge and self-love, as this practice is the foundation for genuinely loving others and navigating relationships effectively.
View your partner as a ‘guru’ or mirror that reflects your inner self, allowing you to learn from and grow with them by observing your best and worst qualities in your interactions.
Prioritize enlightenment and mutual growth in your relationships over mere entertainment and enjoyment, as the satisfaction derived from growing together is far greater and more enduring.
Consciously choose to ’elevate’ through growth and learning rather than merely ’escape’ through entertainment, as elevation equips you with more skills and insights to deal with life’s problems, leading to greater joy.
Strive to be loved for your character and who you are as a person, rather than for your achievements or external success, as true affection comes from valuing your authentic self.
Shift your perspective on love from finding a ‘perfect match’ to choosing a person with whom you are energized and enthusiastic to actively make the relationship right every day.
Recognize that genuine physical intimacy requires emotional safety and vulnerability; address any lack of emotional security within yourself or with your partner before expecting deep physical connection.
Prioritize effective stress management (e.g., meditation, adequate sleep, setting intentions) as it directly impacts your ability to show up as your best self in your relationships and reduces irritability.
Recognize that many relationship challenges, like snapping at a partner, often stem from your own insecurities, triggers, or unmanaged stress, rather than external factors.
Understand that your partner will only change for themselves, not for you; focus on setting a positive example rather than trying to force their change.
Shift your perception of love from something to receive to something you actively experience by expressing it, as this allows you to feel love internally regardless of external reciprocation.
View romantic love not as an end goal, but as a practice and stepping stone to cultivate a more expansive and rewarding form of love that extends beyond your partner to children, family, friends, community, and the world.
Continuously practice and expand your ‘radius of love’ and care beyond immediate relationships to improve your capacity for love, giving, and compassion, making your love more justified and true.
Approach love as a daily effort and habit, consciously choosing to practice and express it regularly, rather than viewing it as a static emotion or something that magically happens.
Live with the understanding that anyone could die at any time, not morbidly, but to deepen your appreciation for every relationship and ensure your last interactions are loving and present.
Consciously choose your first and last thoughts of the day to positively influence your mindset, as you cannot control the vast majority of daily thoughts.
Implement the ‘TIME’ morning routine: begin with Thankfulness (e.g., a gratitude note), set your daily Intention (e.g., service, love), practice Meditation (breathwork, visualization, mantra), and engage in Exercise (e.g., 45-60 min hike) to align your body and mind for a purposeful day.
If time is limited, commit to just one small thing each morning that is truly for yourself (e.g., a quiet cup of coffee, a 7-minute meditation) to create certainty and a sense of control in an otherwise chaotic day.
Identify your purpose by exploring four areas: what you’re passionate/curious about, what you’re naturally good at, a problem in the world you want to solve, and whether you can get paid for it (optional).
Define your purpose by finding ways to use your gifts and talents to improve the lives of others, as this brings happiness to both you and them.
Schedule a monthly relationship check-in with your partner, initiating the conversation with ‘us’ and ‘we’ language (e.g., ‘I want us to have an incredible relationship, what are we willing to do?’) to foster collaboration rather than blame.
Deepen intimacy by moving beyond passive entertainment (like watching TV) to actively engage in shared Experiences (date nights, travel), Experiments (trying new activities as novices), Education (learning together), and Engagement (serving a cause together).
Proactively communicate periods of anticipated stress to your partner, explaining that any resulting lack of presence or irritability is due to your stress and not personal to them, to prevent misunderstandings.
When communicating needs (e.g., alone time), always explain the ‘why’ behind your request to provide context and prevent your partner from misinterpreting your intentions or feeling personally rejected.
Dedicate 30 minutes each Sunday to reflect on your upcoming week, identifying potential stressors, free time, and commitments, to better communicate your schedule and needs to your partner and avoid conflict.
When addressing sensitive issues with your partner, use a three-part feedback framework: 1) Acknowledge the high standard/special bond you share, 2) Express trust in their ability to meet that standard, and 3) Offer collaborative support.
Inspire your partner’s personal growth by setting a good example and by introducing them to resources (books, podcasts, teachers) that resonate with their interests and stage of development, rather than dictating what they should do.
Be mindful of what you use to impress others, as you will attract people who value those same qualities; if you flaunt wealth, you’ll attract those interested in your wealth.
To find a partner who loves you for who you are, seek them through people, projects, or places that align with your deepest values (e.g., trusted friends, charity work, shared passions).
After a relationship ends, resist the urge to immediately jump into a new one; instead, take time to observe, reflect, and heal from emotional injuries.
When facing sexual issues in a relationship, consider that the root cause may be a partner’s personal dissatisfaction (e.g., body image, purpose, self-disconnection) rather than something about you.
When faced with negative or triggered comments (e.g., online), choose love and empathy as your first response by wondering about the other person’s underlying struggles, rather than reacting defensively.
Go beyond feeling gratitude and actively express it verbally to others, as this simple act can be profoundly powerful for both you and the recipient.
Actively celebrate and acknowledge the amazing qualities of people in your life while they are alive, rather than waiting until it’s too late.
Don’t be afraid to openly express your desire for connection and friendship with others, even as an adult, to foster meaningful relationships rather than living in false safety.
Be patient when initiating important relationship conversations; don’t get frustrated if your partner doesn’t respond immediately or with immediate enthusiasm, as consistent, gentle effort is key.