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Jay Shetty on How to Think Like a Monk and Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose (Re-Release) #265

Apr 30, 2022 1h 52m 14 insights
I am delighted to welcome former monk turned social media superstar, Jay Shetty. This episode was first released in September 2020. After having spent three years living as a monk in India, Jay believes that you don’t have to live like a monk to think like one. With his social media following now totaling over 32 million, Jay is transforming the ancient wisdom he has learned into bite-sized nuggets that will help us all live more meaningful and purposeful lives. So many of us these days are living lives that are not truly ours. Instead, we base our opinion of ourselves on what we think other people think of us. In today’s conversation, Jay and I talk about how we can figure out our own identity and live our truest and most authentic life. He talks us through his value audit exercise which will help us all on our way to living the life we really want. We also discuss the importance of staying open and curious to new ideas and how our childhood experiences play into all our relationships. We delve into gratitude and Jay shares some brilliant tips to help you get more out of your daily gratitude practice.  This conversation is full of timeless wisdom, personal stories and actionable tips and I really hope it helps you live the life you were born to live. Thanks to our
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Self-Perception

Focus on changing how you think about yourself by aligning your behavior with your values, rather than wasting time trying to change how others perceive you, as external validation is an uncontrollable and ultimately worthless pursuit.

2. Train Your Mind Daily

Recognize that your mind can and needs to be trained, just like your body, to improve focus, attention, and happiness, by dedicating time to mental exercises.

3. Conduct a Values Audit

Understand your true values by auditing how you spend your money and time, then critically evaluate if your current pursuits are genuinely yours or driven by external pressures. Regularly revisit this audit (monthly for an hour, annually for 3-5 days) to align your actions with your authentic desires.

4. Cultivate Curiosity & Openness

Approach new ideas and perspectives with a tiny bit of curiosity and an open mind, as exposure to diverse thoughts can foster greater creativity, purpose, and meaning in your life.

5. Expand Emotional Vocabulary

Improve your self-understanding and communication by expanding your emotional vocabulary beyond basic terms, allowing you to accurately diagnose and articulate your feelings to yourself and others.

6. Understand Childhood Conditioning

Become aware of emotional patterns and attachment styles adopted from your childhood, not to blame parents, but to develop the emotional skills necessary for healthier relationships and self-management.

7. Communicate Relationship Expectations

Clearly communicate your expectations for joy and acceptable pain levels in relationships, and define key terms like ’love’ or ‘clean’ with your partner to prevent misunderstandings and foster deeper connection.

8. Avoid Happiness on Others’ Unhappiness

Refrain from building your happiness or identity on the perceived inferiority, gossip, or mistakes of others, as this creates an unstable and unsustainable foundation for your own well-being.

9. Challenge Negative Habits

Actively challenge negative habits like comparing, complaining, and criticizing by tracking their frequency (e.g., using a jar and post-it notes) and engaging in a self-competition to reduce them, recognizing these are adopted behaviors, not your core identity.

10. Practice Gratitude in Challenges

Cultivate gratitude even in difficult situations by actively seeking meaning and lessons within them, understanding that challenges can still guide you in the right direction if you maintain a learning mindset.

11. Express Specific Gratitude Daily

Make gratitude a daily practice by specifically expressing thanks to a person, reflecting on a place, and acknowledging a project in your life, as this deepens your own sense of gratitude and strengthens relationships.

12. Craft Meaning in Your Job

If you’re in a dissatisfying job you cannot leave, practice ‘job crafting’ by consciously asking where you can find meaning, what you can learn, or what the role is trying to teach you, to transform your experience of work.

13. Focus on Impact, Not Metrics

When pursuing goals or creating content, prioritize generating genuine value and impact for others, as this focus naturally leads to desired outcomes like followers or success, aligning with purpose (passion + skills + compassion).

14. Design Your Environment (3 S’s)

Consciously design your living spaces using the ’three S’s’ (Sights, Scents, Sounds) to positively influence your mood and energy. Choose inspiring sights, calming scents (e.g., lavender), and uplifting or relaxing sounds to transform each room’s atmosphere.