Instead of trying to change others’ perceptions of you, focus on changing how you think about yourself by aligning your behavior with the person you want to be and your values. This pursuit is more worthwhile and allows you to feel better about yourself.
To understand your true values, conduct an audit by honestly reviewing your bank statements and how you allocate your time. These reveal what you genuinely prioritize, often differing from your perceived values.
For each goal you’re currently pursuing, ask if it stems from your inner desire and dream or from external pressures or expectations. Then, decide if you still want to pursue it, change your approach, or abandon it entirely to ensure your goals are truly yours.
To find your life’s purpose, or dharma, identify the intersection of your passion (what you love), your skills (what you’re good at), and your compassion (how you serve others). This combination equals true purpose.
Strive to be your authentic self rather than trying to imitate others or conform to external expectations. Being yourself is less tiring and leads to greater contentment and genuine connection.
Realize that you are not your negative thoughts, habits, or pain; these are transient states or adopted behaviors. By changing the habits, you naturally change your experience without defining yourself by them.
Cultivate gratitude in all areas of your life, especially during tough times, by asking ‘where is there meaning in this?’ and ‘where is the lesson in this?’. This helps maintain a positive perspective and learn from difficult situations.
Make gratitude more powerful by expressing it daily and specifically: tell a person you’re grateful for them, spend time in or reflect on a place you appreciate, and acknowledge a project you’re thankful for. This deepens relationships and boosts mood.
Reflect on your childhood experiences to identify your attachment style (avoidant, secure, or anxious), as this awareness helps you understand patterns in your adult relationships. This is the first step in developing emotional skills your parents may not have had.
Actively work on developing emotional skills that your parents may have lacked, starting with awareness of any behavioral patterns you’ve adopted from them. This is crucial for improving your relationships and personal well-being.
To avoid misunderstandings and friction in relationships, clearly communicate to your partner the level of joy you expect and the level of pain you are willing to accept. Do not expect them to be mind readers.
Actively discuss and clarify the definitions of important words and concepts with your partner, as different people and families may interpret them differently. This prevents misalignment and improves communication.
If you’re in a job you dislike and cannot leave, engage in ‘job crafting’ by asking yourself where you can find meaning, what you can learn, what you can adopt, and what the situation is trying to teach you. This allows you to assign meaning to your work.
Do not seek happiness by making others feel inferior, gossiping about their mistakes, or finding joy in their struggles. Building your own happiness on the unhappiness of others creates an unstable foundation for your well-being.
Instead of obsessing over numbers and metrics like follower counts or sales, concentrate on creating content or services that genuinely impact and help people. Success and recognition will naturally follow as a by-product of providing value.
If you desire to change your life, open your mind to alternative thoughts and ideas with curiosity. Exposure to diverse perspectives can foster creativity, innovation, and a greater sense of purpose.
Actively stay curious and open-minded to avoid being stuck in ’echo chambers’ or silos. This allows you to consider different views and potentially discover ideas that spark personal growth and improve your life experience.
Improve your ability to diagnose and communicate your feelings by expanding your emotional vocabulary beyond basic words like ‘sad’ to more specific terms like ‘offended,’ ‘disappointed,’ or ‘irritated.’ This helps you articulate yourself more effectively.
Actively use the ’three S’s’ (sights, scents, and sounds) to change your state: choose inspiring visuals, calming aromas, and uplifting or soothing sounds in your environment. This conscious design can positively impact how you feel.
Replace seeing your phone first thing in the morning with an intentional sight that fills you with joy. This could be a favorite quote, a child’s drawing, or an inspiring photo, setting a positive tone for your day.
Incorporate calming scents like sandalwood, lavender, or eucalyptus via diffusers or candles into your environment to instantly feel relaxed and reduce anxious feelings. These scents can induce a natural sense of calm.
Pay attention to the background sounds in your life and intentionally choose music or nature sounds that either energize you or calm you down. This reduces cognitive load and improves focus, as your brain isn’t processing insignificant noise.
To live a more meaningful and purposeful life, prioritize investing your time in education over entertainment. Engage in activities like reading books, watching documentaries, taking courses, and listening to podcasts to better yourself.
Treat your values like a garden, regularly revisiting them to remove ‘weeds’ (undesired influences) and plant ’new seeds’ (values that align with your true self). This prevents your values from becoming covered by other desires.
Dedicate three to five days a year for a deep dive into your values, and then spend one to two hours monthly for a shorter review. This structured approach helps in continually realigning your life’s direction.
To make self-improvement fun, keep two jars: one for post-it notes each time you compare, complain, or criticize, and another for when you are collaborative, supportive, or grateful. Aim to increase the latter to shift your mindset.
Express genuine and specific gratitude from the heart, even when feeling insecure or uncomfortable. The benefits of feeling and sharing it are yours, regardless of how the recipient reacts, as you are thanking them for what they have already done.
Understand that your mind can be trained, similar to how you train your body; dedicate time and effort to mastering your inner space for improved happiness, attention, and focus. Monks, for example, dedicate their lives to this.
Check out the book ‘Feel Better in Five’ to discover how to make positive changes in your physical, mental, and emotional health through simple five-minute chunks of activity. It offers practical knowledge and wisdom.
As you get back into routine, consider making weekly podcast episodes a regular part of your schedule. This can provide consistent insights and help you feel better and live more.
Practice a simple act of kindness by sharing a specific podcast episode with someone you know, as this can be a valuable gift that benefits both the recipient and yourself. It’s a way to spread positive impact.