As parents, critically reflect on and question your own discomfort and biases surrounding topics of race, as this self-awareness is crucial for engaging in effective conversations with your children.
Actively unlearn your own biases, ensure children are exposed to diverse books and media that shatter stereotypes, and challenge any assumptions or stereotypes they form from a very young age.
Engage in proactive conversations about race, discrimination, and bias with children, regardless of their skin color, to prepare them for a diverse world and mitigate the adverse effects of witnessing racism.
Do not adopt a ‘colorblind’ approach with children, as they naturally notice skin color differences; instead, acknowledge these differences to prevent them from forming problematic conclusions or stereotypes independently.
Guide children to be comfortably curious and non-judgmental about differences, teaching them to recognize and address unfairness while promoting empathy and allyship over shame and guilt.
Educate children that while differences exist, they should not be the foundation for inequality; also, help them understand the historical legacy of oppression that has led to differential treatment for certain groups.
Talk to children about privilege and power, including concepts like white privilege, and instruct them on how to leverage their own advantages to be allies and support those who may not share the same privileges.
Begin at a young age to instill in children the understanding that they possess the power to create a more equal and fair-minded world, thereby preventing the perpetuation of existing cycles of inequality.
Maintain regular and consistent conversations about race and identity with children, as continuous reinforcement is necessary to counteract the pervasive external messages they encounter daily.
Initiate discussions about race and bias with children well before they reach nine years old, as their views on these topics tend to become fixed by that age.
Model for your children that it’s acceptable not to know everything by admitting ‘I don’t know’ and then engaging in a collaborative search for answers together, utilizing available resources.
Be highly mindful of your own behavior, facial expressions, and offhand remarks, as children absorb these implicit messages and cues, which can shape their biases and fears towards people of different backgrounds.
When children express assumptions or questions about race, engage with them non-judgmentally by asking ‘why’ they think that way, creating a safe space where no topic is taboo and they feel comfortable asking anything.
Actively create opportunities for children to interact with peers from diverse backgrounds and cultures, allowing them to see that people of all skin colors engage in everyday activities, thereby breaking down stereotypes.
Teach children age-appropriate ways to be an ally, such as reporting observed bullying to an adult or offering support and empathy to a child who appears lonely or isolated due to their skin color.
Involve children in age-appropriate social activism, teaching them that they can create change by discussing what to do when witnessing injustice, and encouraging activities like fundraising for charities to build social consciousness.
Engage children in scenario-based activities to teach them how to respond to racism, racial bullying, or prejudice, including who to talk to and how to be an effective ally for others at school.
Provide children with a comprehensive understanding of global history, including the origins of oppression and imperial histories, beyond what is typically taught in schools, to help them grasp the roots of inequality.
Engage in honest and open conversations at home about the divisive opinions and radicalizing content children encounter online and in the outside world, to help them counter these pressures.
Encourage children to acknowledge and understand instances of unfair treatment based on skin color, fostering an open home environment where they feel comfortable discussing these observations without awkwardness.
When children make comments about skin color, such as expressing a preference for lighter skin, analyze these remarks for underlying biases rather than dismissing them, as they can indicate developing prejudices that need to be addressed.
Address children’s internalized biases about their appearance, such as preferring a different hair or skin color, immediately and consistently to help them take pride in who they are and prevent future body image issues.
Actively engage mixed-heritage children in conversations about their identity to help them navigate complex perceptions and take pride in their ‘mixedness’ rather than feeling compelled to choose one side of their heritage.
Actively address specific forms of racism and bias that manifest within one’s own community, such as colorism or casteism in South Asian communities, recognizing that these issues require targeted understanding and intervention.
Actively promote positive representation and role models from diverse backgrounds, as individuals who proudly embrace their identity can significantly counter negative stereotypes and reduce prejudice within society.
Parents should actively learn and understand the correct terminology and vocabulary related to race and bias, enabling them to confidently and accurately discuss these sensitive topics with their children.
Actively participate in open and honest conversations about challenging topics like discrimination, as this dialogue is essential for initiating and achieving meaningful change.
Use your platform or position to voice concerns about discrimination, as this can empower less established individuals to recognize and feel justified in questioning similar experiences.
When addressing perceived discrimination or unfairness, process your emotions first, then communicate calmly and rationally, sticking to facts to achieve a more impactful and positive resolution.
Focus on making your work as excellent as possible, aiming to create such undeniable value that it becomes impossible for others to ignore or discriminate against your contributions.
Do not base your self-worth solely on the opinions of others, as this external validation can be toxic and lead to a sense of emptiness.
Acknowledge the emotional exhaustion and anxiety experienced by parents of color, who constantly worry about their children being treated differently or facing discrimination.
Understand that people of color often feel compelled to work significantly harder and suppress vulnerability to prove themselves, due to the perception of limited space and opportunity.
Educate yourself on what bias is, including its individual, interpersonal, and systemic forms, to better understand how it manifests as prejudice and discrimination, especially regarding race.
Educate children on the nuance that skin color does not predetermine individual behavior or guarantee uniform treatment, helping them avoid overgeneralizations and simplistic victim/oppressor narratives.
Adopt descriptive and factual language, such as ‘people with white skin’ instead of ‘white people,’ to avoid labeling and promote a more inclusive and less categorizing way of speaking about individuals.
Actively seek to understand the specific obstacles and reasons why some people do not have the same opportunities, as this understanding is crucial for effectively addressing inequalities and fostering fair-mindedness.
Acknowledge the existence of various forms of bias, such as sexism, without internalizing personal guilt, and instead focus on what individual actions can be taken to prevent its continuation.
Embrace and sit with discomfort, as it is a necessary catalyst for creating change, preventing complacency and the acceptance of an unjust status quo.
When seeking to make change, particularly around sensitive topics, eliminate blame and judgment towards others’ knowledge gaps, as this approach fosters engagement and learning rather than defensiveness.
Take responsibility to engage with diverse views, continuously educate yourself, and cultivate open-mindedness, kindness, compassion, and empathy, as these are essential for countering bias and understanding others’ perspectives.
Teach children to prioritize their internal feelings about their performance and self-worth, recognizing that external opinions are subjective and do not change who they are or how they feel about their own efforts.
Actively advocate for increased representation of people from diverse backgrounds in all professional domains, as this helps dismantle existing power hierarchies and ensures a wider range of voices are heard and valued.