Recognize that your time is finite, not limitless, which necessitates making tough choices and deciding not to do some things that might matter to make space for others.
Understand that true time management is not about becoming more productive or fitting everything in, but rather about consciously deciding what to neglect.
Truly accept the fact that your time is finite, as this acceptance is described as liberating and a relief, freeing you from the stress of trying to do the impossible.
Ease up on the desire for unrealistic control over your life and time, as letting go of this constant, anxious attempt allows you to step into real agency and do things that count.
Recognize that you are always making choices about how to spend your finite time, and the freedom you can aspire to is making these decisions consciously rather than unconsciously.
When faced with a significant life choice, ask yourself what would ’enlarge’ you (foster growth and meaning) rather than what would simply make you ‘happy,’ as happiness is often difficult to predict and not always the most meaningful path.
For effective time management, choose something that truly matters to you, then dedicate at least 20 minutes to it today or this week, accepting that other things will inevitably not get done.
Practice saying no not only to things you don’t want to do, but also to things you do want to do, because there will always be more appealing opportunities than you can fit into your life.
Make time for only some things that matter, and let go of the expectation that you can do everything that matters, as this is a futile quest.
If you truly understood your limited time, you might switch your priorities and spend the first part of your day on the thing you care about the most, rather than on less important tasks like answering emails.
Introduce a self-imposed Sabbath into your weekend (e.g., Saturday or Sunday) where you intentionally abstain from certain activities like checking emails or school clubs, to create dedicated time for family, rest, and community, recognizing the cost of constantly filling time.
Embrace the constraints imposed by community and the rhythms of other people, as these can provide structure and belonging, counteracting the loneliness of excessive individual freedom.
To gain the benefits of community and shared experiences (like band rehearsals or sports), be willing to give up some personal dictatorship over your schedule and synchronize with others.
Adopt a seasonal approach to life, recognizing that different phases (e.g., early career, raising young children) may require temporary imbalances, and go easy on yourself if you need to do the minimum in certain areas during demanding times.
Ground your ambitions in the reality of your limited time and control, setting reasonable expectations for yourself, and avoid endlessly berating yourself for not evading the fundamental conditions of being human.
Stop seeking reassurance from the future, as it’s impossible to know what will happen, and this constant pursuit fuels anxiety; instead, accept the inherent uncertainty of life.
Surrender to the uncontrollable flow of time, adopting an attitude of curiosity about what’s coming next, rather than demanding that your plans perfectly align with reality, which reduces anxiety.
Understand that procrastination on important tasks often stems from an attempt to avoid encountering your limitations, such as the risk of failure or imperfection.
To overcome perfectionism, recognize that the only way to maintain a perfect mental image of a project is to never start it; instead, embrace the inevitability of imperfection that comes with creation.
View deadlines as liberating constraints that define the best you can do at a specific moment, rather than a pursuit of absolute perfection, allowing you to complete projects and move forward.
Account for the considerable mental energy and cognitive reserve consumed by postponing decisions in pursuit of perfect information, as this indecision itself is a significant cost.
Recognize that the stress often comes from the act of not deciding, rather than the decision itself, so make choices (e.g., buying a house, leaving a job) to alleviate that mental anguish.
Avoid endlessly keeping options open or refusing to commit, as this is a false sense of control that prevents you from fully engaging with life and making meaningful progress.
Understand that you are always committing to things with your time, even if unconsciously, so strive to make those commitments intentional rather than letting time elapse without conscious choice.
Be willing to ‘waste time’ by engaging in activities that are not instrumental or goal-oriented, as this non-instrumental use of time can paradoxically lead to a more meaningful and absorbing experience of life.
Avoid constantly analyzing whether you are using your time well, as spending all your waking hours outside your life looking in prevents you from truly being present and experiencing it.
Consider not wearing a watch to avoid constantly defining your experience by clock time (‘how long have I got left?’), which can take you out of the present moment.
It is fine to plan and steer your day, but avoid the illusion of controlling the future from the present, as this desire for control is a constant recipe for anxiety because it’s not possible.
Recognize that you cannot care about everything or put your attention everywhere, especially concerning global issues, as this can be overwhelming and diminish your impact on local, personal matters.
Instead of focusing solely on global issues where individual impact is small, choose to care for relatives or contribute to your local neighborhood, as these actions define a meaningful life.
Find freedom in acknowledging that there are many things in the world you cannot do anything about, rather than feeling overwhelmed by them.
Do not approach productivity and time management techniques with the goal of achieving total control over time and avoiding difficult decisions, as this desire to bypass human limitations will lead to failure and more stress.
Recognize that escaping into online scrolling and cyberspace is often an attempt to avoid real-world constraints and difficult tasks, but it ultimately prevents you from making a meaningful difference.
View a bucket list as a menu of possibilities rather than a list of duties to get through, recognizing that you cannot experience everything the world has to offer.
Understand that knowing what is enough constitutes true wealth, rather than constantly seeking more, which can lead to overwhelm even with pleasurable experiences.
Be aware that becoming highly efficient at processing email often leads to receiving more email, creating a cycle where an infinite supply consumes more of your finite time.
If you choose to focus on mastering email, do so intentionally, but understand that striving for efficiency with a limitless input will likely cause it to take over your life, preventing you from focusing on what truly matters.
Be aware that work expands to fill the time available for its completion, so consciously limit the ‘containers’ (time slots) you allocate to work to prevent it from consuming all your time.
To encourage efficiency, give tasks less time than they might otherwise take, as work will often contract to fill the available space.
Leverage community structures, like parkrun, to maintain habits and activities, as the shared commitment and social aspect make it easier to show up consistently compared to relying solely on individual motivation.
Recognize that traditions and practices, having stood the test of time, often embody wisdom about what people need in their lives, even if they require some surrender of personal autonomy.
Cultivate self-awareness to recognize when you are falling back into old patterns of stress or procrastination, understand the human desire for control behind them, and then gently steer yourself back to better ways of being.
Ease up on the cruel and impossible standard of achieving 100% perfection in both work and personal life, as the pursuit of ‘work-life balance’ often creates more pressure and stress.
Discern between difficulties that challenge you in good ways and promote personal growth, and those that diminish your soul, and act accordingly to either embrace the challenge or remove yourself from the diminishing situation.
Allow yourself to be quiet enough to tap into your instinct when making choices, as this inner wisdom can guide you towards what truly enlarges you.
Pursue good health, diet, and exercise to increase the probability of future well-being, but accept that you cannot know or control the future with certainty.
Avoid using ’narcotic ways’ (e.g., unhealthy food, alcohol, chronic stress) to dull the discomfort and pain of trying to control the uncontrollable, as these choices negatively impact physical health.
To overcome perfectionism, consider engaging in deadline-driven environments or activities, as the necessity of meeting deadlines can help you release the need for absolute perfection.
Embrace constant improvisation and ‘winging it’ in parenting, as the fast-moving, unpredictable nature of raising children naturally beats out perfectionism and fosters adaptability.