Support yourself as an ally when facing life’s difficulties instead of engaging in self-criticism, as this makes you stronger, more competent, and better able to cope.
Understand that self-compassion is a state of mind, the opposite of self-criticism, which doesn’t require extra time or resources but involves thinking with your own best interests at heart.
Shift your motivation for change from fear, shame, or self-criticism to a place of love and care for yourself, as this approach is more effective and sustainable for long-term success.
Maintain a balance between tender self-acceptance and fierce self-compassion, recognizing that both are necessary for health and wholeness, and adjusting which is needed moment-to-moment.
Pause and consciously ask yourself, “What do I really need in this moment to be healthy?” as this question can guide you toward self-compassionate actions.
Take a 5-minute “self-compassion break” by mindfully acknowledging a current struggle, remembering common humanity, and giving yourself kindness through supportive physical touch and words.
Practice mindfulness by turning toward and being aware of your pain without avoiding or getting consumed by it, which provides the necessary perspective to offer yourself compassion.
After acknowledging your pain, respond to it with warmth, care, and understanding, rather than harshness or self-blame, to cultivate true self-compassion.
Counter self-pity by recognizing that struggle, imperfection, and mistakes are part of the universal human condition, connecting you to others rather than isolating you.
Engage in “fierce self-compassion” by actively working to change what is not okay, protecting yourself, and learning from failures to improve, rather than passively accepting harmful situations.
Learn to “reparent” yourself by consistently treating yourself with fairness, kindness, encouragement, and support, thereby cultivating feelings of worthiness and safety as an adult.
Instead of shutting down your inner critic, acknowledge its intention to help and ask it to rephrase its message in more constructive terms, allowing for potential useful information without harshness.
Focus on the intention to help yourself, as this underlying motivation, even when closing off from overwhelming self-compassion practices, builds the muscle of self-compassion.
Experiment with different self-compassion methods to find one that feels easy and pleasant for you, as this increases the likelihood of consistent practice.
When practicing self-compassion, use language that feels comfortable and authentic to you, avoiding overly sweet or unbelievable phrases that might create internal conflict.
Intentionally use physical touch, such as placing hands on your heart or face, when upset, as this activates the parasympathetic nervous system and can physiologically convey compassion.
Convey self-compassion through a warm, tender tone of voice, as the tone itself can be more impactful than the specific words spoken.
Try gazing at yourself kindly in a mirror, even if it feels awkward, as this can be a direct way to cultivate self-compassion.
Journaling can be an effective way to gain self-awareness by externalizing thoughts and feelings onto paper, allowing you to see them with more clarity and perspective.
For caregivers, practice self-compassion in moments of stress and overwhelm by silently acknowledging your feelings and offering supportive words, as this is flexible and doesn’t require extra time like self-care.
Be mindful of how you talk to yourself in front of children to model positive self-talk and self-compassion, teaching them healthy internal dialogue.
Access free guided and written self-compassion practices, and take the self-compassion scale test available on the self-compassion.org website to begin or deepen your practice.