Define your end goal or mission in one or two concrete sentences, specifying the ‘what,’ ‘who,’ and ‘why,’ to serve as an unwavering North Star that guides you through obstacles and maintains alignment even when motivation wanes.
Take full ownership and agency over your health, rather than blaming others or passively waiting for external solutions, by actively seeking information and making informed choices.
Adopt the identity of a learner to overcome fears of failure, imposter syndrome, and ego, allowing you to embrace corrections and seek knowledge from others without feeling threatened.
Practice radical confidence by fully accepting your flaws while simultaneously recognizing your sole ability to transform your life, rather than waiting for confidence to arrive.
Play the ’no bullshit, what would it take’ game by honestly assessing the realistic actions and sacrifices required to achieve a dream, then decide if you are truly willing to do the work.
Reflect on and question the ‘when’ statements you make about pursuing dreams or making changes, considering what if that ‘when’ never comes, to motivate immediate action.
Hold the dual perspective that you are beautiful and good enough as you are right now, while simultaneously demanding more of yourself for growth, change, and transformation.
Understand that your current self is a foundation, not a definition, allowing you to accept where you are without self-criticism and lay a path for future growth.
Attach your identity to being a ’learner’ or ’the person who can get back up’ after falling, which makes you unbreakable and prevents staying down after setbacks.
Recognize that you likely already know what steps to take towards your goals, and cultivate the conviction needed to simply start.
Ask yourself what stories or beliefs you are holding that prevent you from pursuing your dreams (e.g., ‘I’m not smart enough,’ ‘I don’t have confidence,’ ‘I don’t have money’) to identify barriers.
When repeatedly triggered by a partner, do the internal work to understand why you are being triggered, tracing back the origin of the trigger (e.g., childhood experiences) to take ownership.
Honestly communicate your identified triggers to your partner, explaining their origin and stating that you are actively working on them, and ask for their support (e.g., avoiding specific words).
Become aware of and identify the physical ‘flags’ or signals in your body (e.g., racing heart, flushed face) that indicate you are being triggered or your emotions are escalating.
Re-engage with hobbies and self-care activities you enjoy (e.g., drawing) that you may have neglected due to overworking, recognizing their importance for well-being and preventing burnout.
Consciously prioritize self-care even during demanding periods (e.g., book launch), acknowledging your natural tendencies and ensuring your actions serve your long-term well-being.
Implement strict boundaries for self-care, such as turning off your phone every Saturday morning for dedicated personal time, and communicate these boundaries clearly to others.
Delegate or redirect urgent matters to other contacts (e.g., a partner) when you are observing your self-care boundaries, ensuring that only true emergencies warrant disturbance.
Use boundary pushback as a filter to evaluate the depth and respect within relationships, recognizing that those who don’t respect your self-care may not be close enough to warrant access during that time.
Proactively plan for your well-being, especially during disruptive events like travel, by laying out necessary preparations (e.g., packing food, supplements, water) without complaint, accepting it as part of your life.
Identify specific food sensitivities and implement strict dietary protocols (e.g., calling restaurants about oils, avoiding specific ingredients) to manage gut health.
Prioritize eating in a peaceful environment, free from distractions like business calls, to support digestion and overall well-being.
Recognize that a compromised gut can impair your intuition and emotional regulation, making gut repair a priority to restore its function in providing reliable signals.
Track personal health data (e.g., sleep with an Oura ring, glucose with a CGM, food intake, bowel movements, feelings in a diary) to identify correlations and understand your body’s responses.
Take proactive ownership of your health by independently seeking out and obtaining your own blood and hormone panels to gain deeper insights into your body’s functioning.
Define a clear, shared ‘North Star’ goal for your relationship (e.g., happily married for life) and align on the strategies and rules to achieve that goal.
Establish clear rules and agreements with your partner before difficult situations arise (e.g., always be honest, don’t apologize unless you mean it) to guide interactions.
When debating with a partner, consciously leave ego at the door and focus on alignment towards a shared goal rather than winning the argument, as who is right or wrong often doesn’t matter.
Make a conscious agreement with your partner to never use each other’s vulnerabilities against them, fostering trust and a safe space for honesty.
Prevent relationship friction by expressing unmet expectations and desires to your partner, rather than assuming they should know or allowing resentment to build.
When miscommunication or arguments arise, ask your partner ‘what’s your base assumption?’ to uncover underlying beliefs that might be causing misunderstanding and facilitate alignment.
Agree with your partner on specific, high-value words or signals (e.g., ‘important’) that, when used sparingly, convey immediate urgency and require unquestioning response, to ensure critical needs are met.
Establish clear visual cues or signals (e.g., a specific lamp turned on) to communicate when you are in self-care mode and unavailable for work-related discussions, especially when working from home.
When a strategy isn’t working, don’t give up; instead, mutually agree on the problem, acknowledge the need for a new approach, and persist in trying different strategies until one works.
Overcome the fear of rejection by always asking for what you want or need, recognizing that if you don’t ask, the answer will always be a ’no’ by default.
When facing rejection, be radically honest with yourself about what it might truly signify (e.g., current skill level, not personal worth) without letting it derail your goals.
Adopt the mindset of ‘be so good they can’t ignore you’ by continuously practicing and refining your craft, using current limitations as motivation for improvement rather than self-criticism.
When overwhelmed by emotions, use logic to create a clear, step-by-step game plan for addressing fears or insecurities, enabling you to move forward regardless of how you feel.
Address fears and insecurities by identifying them one by one, then creating a specific game plan for each potential scenario, which reduces anxiety and enables action.
Grant yourself grace to show up each day in a way that aligns with how you feel, understanding that progress towards your mission won’t always be a leap, but can be small steps or even just a ’toe’.
Take action right now, even if you lack confidence, because confidence is a byproduct that develops from the act of doing.
Ensure your daily actions are aligned with your stated goals and dreams, recognizing that a disconnect between the two means you are choosing not to pursue your goal.
In important conversations, especially with a partner, remove judgment and simply be honest with each other’s truths to foster open communication and avoid punishment for honesty.