Actively work to repair the “void” that exists when there’s a gap between who you truly are and who you present to the world, as this discomfort often leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms and hinders lasting positive change.
Go beyond surface-level honesty and cultivate a deep, truthful honesty with yourself about your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
To foster brave expression, follow the intentional framework of Awareness (understanding what’s working/not working), Responsibility (taking ownership of revealed information), and then Expression (acting on that understanding).
Prioritize genuine curiosity in all interactions, leaning into discomfort with an open mind rather than approaching situations with suspicion, as this naturally fosters compassion and integrity.
When encountering someone with a different view, intentionally ask yourself, “If I were that person, with their upbringing and experiences, I would be doing/thinking exactly the same thing,” to foster understanding and curiosity.
Cultivate the ability to hold multiple, even contradictory, truths about individuals or situations, recognizing that people are multi-dimensional and not solely defined by one aspect.
If you find yourself prioritizing popularity over truth, be willing to risk losing popularity, clients, or financial gain to remain faithful to yourself and achieve true freedom.
Model healthy expression for your children by showing up as your imperfect self and living your truth. This builds trust and gives them permission to express themselves authentically.
Incorporate a daily practice of solitude without external inputs to genuinely feel what is going on within yourself, which is crucial for health, happiness, and well-being.
If remaining silent about something nags at you later, observe your decision and get curious about why you didn’t speak up, questioning if it was truly unsafe or a perceived fear, to cultivate self-trust.
Recognize that self-censorship is an unconscious act of devaluing your true experience, communicating to yourself that your thoughts and feelings are not worthy of being heard or seen.
List your core values, then honestly examine your life’s results (work, relationships, communication) to see if your actions truly embody those values or if they are merely desired, revealing areas for growth.
Notice and challenge absolutist or binary language (e.g., “if I do this, this will happen full stop”) when considering expressing yourself, as it can limit your perception of available options and nuances.
Internalize that understanding another person’s perspective or actions does not imply agreement with them, allowing you to maintain empathy while upholding your boundaries.
Improve communication by avoiding both self-censorship and an unrefined social filter, recognizing that saying everything and nothing are not your only options; seek the nuanced “in between” for effective dialogue.
Begin practicing brave expression in your interpersonal relationships, such as with a trusted friend or partner, rather than making public declarations online, to build confidence and refine your approach.
Engage in role-playing exercises with a trusted person to practice speaking in ways you normally wouldn’t, even in small “micro-moments,” to build courage for more significant conversations.
Each evening, reflect on “what went well today” and “what can I do differently tomorrow” to foster compassionate self-improvement and awareness without judgment.
View criticism as a mirror for self-reflection; if it bothers you, explore why, as this can be a fantastic opportunity for personal growth rather than something to shut down.
As a parent, avoid giving off an impression of perfection to your children; instead, let them know you are fallible and make mistakes, as this is more helpful for their development.
Reintroduce basic communication courtesies, such as addressing people by name, in online interactions to combat the dehumanizing trend of treating others like platforms or brands.
Refrain from “piling on” people in social media comments or acting in a derogatory fashion, as this contributes to the problem of online intolerance and dehumanization.
Resist the urge to chase moral perfection online or pretend to be flawless, as this often serves as an escape from real-life contradictions and prevents authentic self-expression.
Be aware that self-censorship, the act of withholding your true expression due to fear of punishment, is an insidious habit that profoundly negatively impacts your health and happiness, preventing you from living an authentic life.
Do not agree with things you don’t actually agree with just to keep the peace or belong, as this leads to self-distrust and moves you further away from yourself.
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