Understand that trauma overwhelms your coping capacity, causing your central nervous system to perceive the world through the lens of that overwhelming experience, leading to constant fear or overreactions to trivial challenges.
Look for signs like uncontrolled anger with partners or children, needing to hide when overwhelmed, repeatedly disliking bosses, irritability, or making no space for others, as these often indicate unresolved trauma and create interpersonal conflict.
Gain understanding of how past traumatic experiences affect your current life and behaviors, as this self-awareness is crucial for making informed decisions and changing your present, rather than just recounting the trauma itself.
While acknowledging past hardships, use the understanding of your upbringing to learn and move forward, taking agency, rather than claiming victimhood as an alibi for dysfunctional behavior.
Foster a sense of hope and personal agency, recognizing that people can change dramatically for the better, and avoid language that suggests conditions are hopeless, as this is disempowering and potentially harmful.
Prioritize relationships with people (doctors, therapists, friends, family) who genuinely know you, see you, and take a deep interest in your well-being, as feeling seen reduces shame and fosters self-acceptance.
Offer others a safe, non-judgmental environment to speak, talk, and be heard, as this fundamental human connection can be profoundly healing and help individuals gain agency.
Participate in activities that foster synchronous relationships with others, such as singing, dancing, playing sports, making music, or cooking together, as these social connections are highly beneficial for well-being.
Recognize that trauma is expressed through the body (musculature, hormonal pathways), requiring experiences that deeply and viscerally contradict the helplessness, rage, or collapse that resulted from trauma.
Engage in therapies like yoga, martial arts (e.g., karate, tango), neurofeedback, or theater to alter your relationship with your body, gain a sense of agency, and embody different roles, as these can be more effective than talk therapy alone for certain aspects of trauma.
If you struggle with human touch due to past trauma, gradually and safely open up to the pleasure and safety of being touched, as this is crucial for mental and emotional healing and allows your mind to get better.
Explore psychedelic-assisted therapy (e.g., MDMA, psilocybin) under the strict guidance of trained healthcare professionals, as research shows it can dramatically reduce PTSD symptoms by opening the mind to new possibilities and re-patterning the brain.
If undergoing psychedelic therapy, ensure a trained therapist is present throughout the experience to provide comfort, guidance, and help process difficult emotions, transforming potentially scary experiences into healing ones by integrating comfort during distress.
Believe in your children, encourage them to explore the world and take risks, and ensure they feel safe in your affection, knowing they can always return home for care and support.
Strive to be fully present with your children, hearing and listening to them, as this attunement is one of the most important gifts you can give them for their well-being and development.
When looking for a therapist, prioritize personal recommendations and seek someone trained in at least three different modalities (e.g., somatics, EMDR, IFS), rather than a practitioner of a single, rigid method.
Inquire whether a prospective therapist has found their own methods helpful to themselves; if they claim not to need help, leave immediately, as good therapists understand life’s difficulties and their own need for growth.