To break any bad habit, practice inaction by cultivating stillness. When an urge arises, practice sitting still and observe the urge without acting on it, understanding that urges are temporary, which is crucial for managing and breaking habits.
Intentionally choose discomfort in daily life, such as always taking the stairs instead of the elevator. This trains your brain’s willpower (anterior cingulate cortex) to do the right thing even when it feels bad, leading to knock-on benefits in other aspects of life.
Actively work to increase your capacity to tolerate distress and discomfort. A high distress tolerance reduces the likelihood of addiction and anxiety, strengthens boundaries, and prevents leaning on external things like technology to manage internal discomfort.
Recognize that happiness is your default state and desires interfere with it. Instead of believing that fulfilling desires leads to lasting happiness, understand that happiness comes from the removal of desire, and train your brain to let go of desires without always satisfying them.
Limit using technological devices (social media, video games, scrolling) to suppress or regulate emotions. Over-reliance on technology for emotional comfort weakens your brain’s natural capacity for self-regulation, leading to increased frustration, depression, and anxiety.
Sit in complete stillness for 5-10 minutes, resisting any urge to move, itch, or shift. This practice forces present moment awareness and, as discomfort intensifies, your breath becomes the only refuge, naturally leading to deeper focus and increased distress tolerance.
Actively reprogram your mental habits by changing phrases like ‘I need to do this’ to ‘I choose to do this’ or ‘it’s good if I do this’. This mental shift leverages your anterior cingulate cortex to strengthen your capacity for intentional action and habit change.
Cultivate the ability to sit alone, doing nothing, without the need for external stimulation or distraction. The better you become at solitude, the easier every aspect of life becomes, fostering inner peace and self-reliance.
Experience emotions (even negative ones like sadness) without attaching desires to them. When an emotion is accompanied by a desire, it becomes painful; learning to feel emotions without wanting them to be different reduces suffering and allows for peaceful emotional experience.
Understand that mental health is an ongoing process, not a one-time fix. Even after feeling better or achieving ‘remission’ from mental illness, continue engaging in healthy mental practices like meditation and therapy to prevent old problems from re-emerging.
When an urge arises (e.g., for unhealthy food), pause and apply the ‘Three F’s’: 1. Feel: Identify the true underlying emotion or hunger. 2. Feed: Understand how the desired action temporarily addresses that feeling. 3. Find: Discover alternative, healthier behaviors to genuinely address the underlying feeling.
Avoid actively desiring happiness, as this desire itself can block your connection to happiness. Instead, focus on cultivating inner contentment and addressing desires, which will naturally lead to a state of happiness.
When a ‘spark’ of inspiration or desire arises, take a moment to pause and practice inaction instead of reflexively chasing it. Reflect on whether past impulsive pursuits have led to desired outcomes, and consider if stillness might offer a different path.
If you have ADHD, avoid traditional ‘slow down’ meditation. Instead, engage in intense cognitive activity, such as rapidly counting every leaf on a tree, to exhaust the mind and naturally transition into a meditative state.
If you have ADHD, meditate with your eyes half-open or fully open, or listen to music. This provides the necessary stimulation to achieve stillness of mind, as opposed to closing eyes which can lead to restlessness.
If you have a history of trauma, avoid traditional mindfulness that encourages ’emptying the mind,’ as this can trigger suppressed trauma. Instead, use grounding techniques like ‘ice diving’ (dunking your face in ice water) to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and achieve peace.
As a clinician, ensure patients leave consultations believing they have agency over their health and can make a difference in their lives. This involves offering self-directed practices and fostering a sense of control over their internal environment.
As a clinician, if prescribing medication, integrate it into a comprehensive treatment plan that includes psychotherapy, meditation, or other self-directed practices. Avoid offering medication as a sole, long-term solution without addressing root causes and empowering patients with alternative tools.