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How To Design Your Perfect Life with Peter Crone #199

Jul 13, 2021 1h 41m 38 insights
CAUTION: This podcast episode contains mild swearing. Today’s guest believes that the only thing separating you from living your perfect life, is the dialogue that exists within your subconscious mind. This philosophy is very much in alignment with my own and so I was delighted to welcome Peter Crone, a.k.a ‘the mind architect’ back onto the podcast for the third time. Peter is a writer, speaker and thought leader in human potential and has worked with world-famous actors, athletes and the business elite yet the lessons he teaches are universal truths that apply to each and every one of us. We begin the conversation discussing how the biggest illusion that humans have is believing that their experience is generated from circumstance – that they only feel the way they feel because of what is going on around them. This makes us a victim of circumstance. Peter explains that in fact, the suffering we feel is caused and created by ourselves and we have the power to choose how we respond to any situation. This he says, is true freedom.  This way of thinking applies to all areas of our life, including our relationships. Our primal desire to be loved and accepted often means that we put the onus on the people around us to provide security and our sense of worth. We expect others to behave a certain way towards us and when they don’t, we feel hurt and sometimes rejected. Peter explains what is really going on in these situations and what we can do to start changing them. We also talk about how holding onto a sense of identity can be problematic, the role emotions play in disease and how parents can help their children reduce the likelihood of developing negative thought patterns. If you heard my last conversations with Peter, you’ll know how life-changing this way of thinking can be. This conversation has even more anecdotes and I think it will leave you with lots of ideas to reflect on in your own life. Show notes available at https://drchatterjee.com/199 Follow me on https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee Follow me on https://www.facebook.com/DrChatterjee Follow me on https://twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Actionable Insights

1. Take Full Life Responsibility

Embrace the empowering truth that you are 100% responsible for your life experience and how you feel, as you are the one generating your own reality. This shifts you from a victim of circumstance to an empowered creator of your reality, allowing you to generate joy instead of suffering.

2. Cultivate Inner Peace

Cultivate inner peace and self-acceptance, independent of external circumstances or the pursuit of happiness. This internal state is the true source of joy and can paradoxically lead to positive external changes in your life.

3. Dissolve Identity Constraints

Let go of rigid labels and identities you construct around yourself, as well as being overly attached to beliefs. Living within these constraints is limiting and can become an impediment to creating the life you truly desire.

4. Stop Fighting Life

Stop fighting life or disagreeing with what is, and accept what is happening, especially things outside your direct control. Resistance to life’s circumstances is the foundation of suffering and prevents internal freedom.

5. Reconcile Past Hurts

Reconcile past hurts and clean up your personal history instead of trying to control your environment to avoid their repetition. Avoiding past hurts perpetuates them; reconciliation breaks the cycle and stops you from projecting future fears.

6. Address Psychological Dis-ease

Investigate and address the root cause of ‘dis-ease’ (absence of ease) in your energetic, emotional, and psychological systems. Persistent psychological dis-ease compromises the body’s ability to rejuvenate, leading to physical sickness over time.

7. Release Emotional Burdens

Identify and release the emotional burdens and responsibilities you are carrying, such as the weight of caring for others. Unresolved emotional weight can manifest as physical pain and tension; releasing it can lead to instantaneous physical relief.

8. Improve Psychological Digestion

Improve your ‘psychological digestion’ by learning to process and handle challenging emotional experiences. Inability to digest emotional experiences leads to ’emotional indigestion,’ which can cause physical and psychological dis-ease.

9. Self-Source Your Worth

Stop relying on others to provide your security, reassurance, or sense of self-worth. This external reliance creates a slippery slope of vulnerability and disappointment when others don’t meet your expectations.

10. Relationships Reveal Trauma

Use relationships as a conduit for spiritual evolution by recognizing them as mirrors for unreconciled past traumas. Relationships reveal unhealed parts of yourself, offering an opportunity for reconciliation and growth.

11. Set Healthy Boundaries

Establish and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships and caregiving, even with loved ones. This protects your energy and well-being, ensuring you can care for others without depleting yourself.

12. Prioritize Self-Care

Prioritize self-care, understanding that if you don’t take care of yourself, you have no effective use to anyone else. This is like putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others.

13. Reduce Self-Consciousness

Address and reduce excessive self-consciousness and concern about others’ acceptance. Overly focusing on how others perceive you can be draining and create a barrier in relationships, preventing genuine connection.

14. Practice Self-Compassion for Fear

Practice self-compassion for your fears and anxieties, recognizing that fear is a primal, human pattern. Reassure yourself as you would a scared child, acknowledging the pattern without judgment.

15. Release Old Roles

Let go of old roles or identities (e.g., ‘good boy’ or ’the carer’) that were formed to gain acceptance or prove your worth. Releasing these roles allows your system to relax, fostering more freedom and peace.

16. Accept Not Everyone Loves You

Accept that not everyone will love you and focus on your own pure intentions and effort, knowing you are doing your best. This frees you from the need for universal approval and allows you to be authentically yourself.

17. Embrace Interconnectedness

Recognize the interconnectedness of all beings and operate from a place of universal love and acceptance. The illusion of separation leads to adapting and manipulating yourself for acceptance, causing suffering.

18. Choose Empowering Narratives

Choose to write a narrative or story about events that promotes relaxation and calm, rather than one that causes stress. You have the power to create your own story, so choose one that serves your well-being.

19. Reframe as Opportunity

Reframe every event, even perceived negative ones, as an opportunity. This mindset allows you to find benefits and demonstrate positive qualities like integrity and responsibility, potentially turning a negative into a positive.

20. Act with Integrity in Stress

In unexpected stressful situations, act with responsibility, integrity, and authenticity by communicating clearly and proactively. This demonstrates your character and ability to handle stress gracefully.

21. Trust Life’s Unfolding

Cultivate a profound sense of trust that your life is taken care of, regardless of external events, even when desired outcomes don’t manifest. This allows you to surrender to circumstances with internal calm and peace, believing it’s for your benefit.

22. Feelings Aren’t Truth

Don’t let your feelings dictate your perception of truth or future outcomes. Feelings are often illusory and not reliable indicators of what will actually happen.

23. Detach from Opinions

Practice listening to others’ opinions without being affected or at their mercy. This fosters internal freedom and prevents ego fragility and relationship conflicts.

24. Avoid Adult Tantrums

Recognize that getting upset over minor things is often a ‘childish’ adult tantrum. This awareness can help you gain perspective and choose a more mature, peaceful response.

25. Parents: Do Your Own Work

As a parent, commit to doing your own personal growth work. Children mimic your embodied behavior more than they listen to your words, making your self-work the most impactful influence on them.

26. Be a Role Model

Embody and express the qualities you wish your children to develop, rather than just telling them what to do. This provides a living example for them to mimic and learn from.

27. Love and Accept Children

Practice love and acceptance towards children, understanding their natural behaviors, and avoid making them ‘wrong’ or ‘bad.’ Judging or making children wrong leaves a detrimental impression; acceptance and education are more helpful.

28. Educate, Don’t Judge Children

Educate children by helping them understand the impact of their actions, rather than just disciplining or judging them. Education fosters understanding and growth, while judgment can leave lasting negative impressions.

29. Live Your Values

Strive to live in alignment with the values and principles you advocate. This fosters authenticity and integrity, making your message more impactful and preventing you from being ‘full of BS.’

30. Holistic Health Approach

Adopt a holistic approach to health, integrating the best of Western medicine with traditional and complementary practices like Chinese medicine or Ayurveda. This comprehensive view allows for optimal wellness, addressing both acute issues and everyday health.

31. Seek Conversational Therapy

Find a trusted outlet for ‘conversational therapy,’ such as a best friend or lover, where you can share what you’re going through without judgment. Being held and accepted without judgment is a powerful form of healing.

32. Re-listen to Valuable Content

Re-listen to past podcast episodes or valuable conversations. You may often hear something different or have an idea land with you in a new way compared to the first time.

33. Ring Fence Family Time

Ring fence dedicated time (e.g., every summer) to switch off from work and responsibilities. This allows you to be fully present with your family and loved ones.

34. Share Podcast Episodes

Share an episode of this podcast with five different people to spread positive, uplifting, and life-changing content. This acts as a kindness, benefits the recipient, and helps the podcast reach more people.

35. Follow/Subscribe to Podcast

Follow or subscribe to the podcast on your preferred platform. This ensures you get notified when new episodes are released, especially at the start of a new season.

36. Support Podcast Sponsors

Consider supporting the podcast’s sponsors, as they are essential for the production of weekly episodes. The sponsors are chosen carefully by the host.

37. Read the Host’s Books

Check out the host’s books, available as paperbacks, eBooks, and audiobooks. These can help fill gaps in your schedule or provide further learning if you miss the podcast.

38. Be Your Health Architect

Take ownership as the architect of your own health and commit to making lifestyle changes. Feeling better leads to living more, making lifestyle changes always worthwhile.