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How To Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life with Nir Eyal #120

Jul 7, 2020 1h 21m 24 insights
We are living through a crisis of distraction. Plans get sidetracked, friends are ignored, work never seems to get done. You sit down at your desk to work on an important project, but a notification on your phone interrupts your morning. Later, as you're about to get back to work, you receive an email that you need to reply to. At home, screens get in the way of quality time with your family. Another day goes by, and once again, your most important personal and professional goals are put on hold. What would be possible if you followed through on your best intentions? What could you accomplish if you could stay focused? What if you had the power to become ‘indistractable?’ My guest on today’s conversation is an international bestselling author, former Stanford lecturer, and behavioral design expert, Nir Eyal. Nir started his career by helping tech-companies develop products that are intentionally habit-forming. Now, Nir has written a new book, Indistractable: How To Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life, which explains how to get the best of technology and reclaim your attention, without letting it get the best of you. Nir believes that we all have the power to become indistractable and in today’s conversation he reveals how. He explains what really drives human behavior and why ‘time management is pain management’. Nir also shares actionable techniques that will help you design your time, realise your ambitions, and live the life you really want. I hope you find this conversation empowering. Show notes available at: https://drchatterjee.com/120 Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee/ Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Actionable Insights

1. Understand Distraction’s Root Cause

Recognize that all human behavior, including distraction, is driven by a desire to escape discomfort. Understanding these internal triggers is the foundational step to becoming indistractable.

2. Master Internal Triggers

Gain control over your internal triggers by consciously choosing how you respond to uncomfortable emotions, preventing them from automatically leading to distraction.

3. Accept Discomfort as Normal

Recognize that discomfort is a natural human state, not a sign of being broken or deficient, to avoid the self-shaming that can perpetuate cycles of distraction.

4. Reframe Discomfort Triggers

Change your perspective on uncomfortable internal triggers by reimagining them, allowing you to respond in a way that serves your goals rather than leading to automatic distraction.

5. Explore Sensations with Curiosity

Instead of self-blame, explore uncomfortable sensations with curiosity to better understand and manage your emotional responses to potential distractions.

6. Surf Emotional Urges

When feeling an uncomfortable emotion, practice ‘surfing the urge’ by acknowledging that emotions are temporary and will subside, allowing you to ride them out without immediate distraction.

7. Implement the 10-Minute Rule

When tempted by distraction, commit to waiting 10 minutes before giving in, as this technique is more effective than strict abstinence and allows the urge to pass.

8. Reframe Stress as Performance Priming

Interpret physical stress responses like nervousness or palpitations as your body preparing for optimal performance, rather than signs of failure, to channel energy constructively.

9. Define Traction and Distraction

Differentiate between ’traction’ (actions pulling you towards your intent) and ‘distraction’ (actions pulling you away from your intent) to accurately identify what truly serves your goals.

10. Schedule Your Values (Timebox)

Turn your values into concrete actions by scheduling dedicated time for them on your calendar, ensuring that personal health, relationships, and work priorities are actively pursued.

11. Weekly Schedule Sync for Couples

Dedicate 15 minutes each Sunday with your partner to synchronize calendars and timebox tasks for the week, preventing disagreements and ensuring shared responsibilities are planned.

12. Schedule Regular Social Gatherings

Combat loneliness and prioritize relationships by scheduling regular, consistent social gatherings (e.g., every two weeks, same time, same place) with friends or family.

13. Model Prioritized Adult Friendships

Show children the importance of adult friendships by actively scheduling and prioritizing time with your friends, setting clear boundaries during these interactions.

14. Schedule Email and Social Media

Allocate specific times in your daily schedule for checking email and social media, transforming these potential distractions into intentional, time-boxed activities.

15. Manage External Triggers & Notifications

Review and adjust your notification settings on devices, ensuring that external triggers serve your goals rather than leading to distraction, and remove those that don’t.

16. Use a Distraction Tracker

Identify the specific emotion or sensation that precedes a distracting behavior by using a distraction tracker, as merely writing it down can be incredibly empowering.

17. Teach Kids Indistractability

Focus on teaching children how to be indistractable and use technology intentionally, rather than promoting technophobia, to prepare them for a future with increasing distractions.

18. Share Tech Struggles with Kids

Openly discuss with your children how technology is designed to be engaging and share your own struggles, working together to learn tactics for intentional use.

19. Schedule Kids’ Unstructured Free Play

Prioritize and schedule unstructured ‘free play’ time for children, allowing them to interact without adult supervision, which is vital for their psychological development and social learning.

20. Combat Fubbing with Sincere Question

When someone is distracted by their phone during a conversation, sincerely ask, ‘Is everything okay?’ to gently prompt them to become present or excuse themselves if there’s an actual emergency.

21. Use Screen Sign for Focus

Place a physical ‘screen sign’ on your computer monitor in an open office to signal to colleagues that you are in a focus period and should not be interrupted.

22. Make Pre-Commitment Pacts

Prevent future distractions by creating pre-commitment ‘pacts’ (price, effort, or identity) which are promises to yourself or others designed to keep you on track with your intentions.

23. Use Internet Shut-Off Timer

Implement an ’effort pact’ by using an outlet timer to automatically turn off your internet router at a set time, creating a barrier that encourages mindfulness before going online.

24. Adopt “Indistractable” Identity

Embrace and proclaim the identity of being ‘indistractable’ to yourself and others, as this self-labeling significantly increases your likelihood of adhering to your goals and intentions.