Challenge the default societal scoreboard that primarily measures life by money, and instead create your own scoreboard that includes unmeasurable but more important aspects like relationships, health, and purpose.
Develop a single, defining rule or statement (your ‘Life Razor’) that embodies your core identity and values, using it as a lens to simplify decision-making and navigate life’s challenges.
Prioritize understanding and embracing what ’enough’ means for you, as an endless quest for more will lead to misery and distract from genuine fulfillment.
Actively define what truly matters to you and construct your life around those values, rather than passively accepting societal default settings of meaning and living on autopilot.
Intentionally build wealth in five key areas: Time (freedom to choose how you spend it), Social (depth of connection), Mental (purpose, meaning, growth), Physical (health, vitality), and Financial (understanding ’enough’).
Recognize that the answers to living a fulfilling life are already within you; the key is to ask yourself the right questions and sit with them long enough to reveal your innate wisdom.
If struggling in silence, especially as a man, open up and share your vulnerabilities with others, as it creates a ripple effect of strength and fosters deeper connections.
Avoidance of difficult conversations, whether with others or yourself, creates a debt that must be repaid with interest, as time does not heal these issues and confrontation is necessary for resolution.
Stop postponing investments in non-financial wealth areas (e.g., time with kids, physical health, friendships), as ’later’ often means ’never’ and opportunities or conditions will change.
Understand that all meaningful achievements and positive outcomes in life are found on the other side of enduring hard things, whether it’s difficult conversations or challenging workouts; willingness to endure is the cost of entry.
Combat the ’lack of appreciation’ that kills relationships by committing to vocalizing at least one thing you appreciate about your partner every single day, no matter how small.
Be a living example of the behavior you wish your children to embody, as they learn by observing your actions (e.g., treating your partner with respect) rather than just being taught verbally.
Recognize the impermanence of the 10-year window when you are your child’s favorite person; question societal pressure to hustle and instead seek work-life harmony to be present and energetic with them.
To confront insecurities and self-limiting stories, it’s important to deconstruct and understand their source and origin, with therapy being a powerful tool for this identification process.
Recognize that self-limiting stories or narratives you’ve created about yourself can be uncreated, as the fundamental belief in your ability to make a change is central to personal progress.
Do not try to solve internal feelings of inadequacy by seeking external affirmation or success, as this approach is ultimately ineffective and leads to a painful reality.
When facing major life decisions (e.g., job offers, moves), evaluate their impact across all five types of wealth (Time, Social, Mental, Physical, Financial) to make a clear-eyed and holistic choice, rather than focusing solely on money.
Even if you don’t love your job, connect your work to a higher-order purpose (e.g., providing for family) to find energy and meaning in your daily actions, beyond just the financial reward.
Actively invest in all five types of wealth (Time, Social, Mental, Physical, Financial), recognizing that they compound over time just like financial investments, and will atrophy if neglected.
Don’t let the idea of ‘investing’ in wealth areas feel intimidating; small, consistent actions (e.g., a text, a short walk) are beneficial and compound over time, as anything above zero grows.
If you lack supportive friends, actively be that supportive presence for someone else, as what you offer in friendship will be returned, and people remember those who stand by them in dark moments.
As an adult, actively seek out ‘value-aligned rooms’ or communities (e.g., gyms, book clubs, hobby groups) where people share your interests and values, making it easier to build genuine friendships.
Understand that deep friendships are forged through shared struggles, hard conversations, and simply being present with someone during their tough times, even if it means sitting in silence without offering advice.
In all relationships, focus on ‘growing in love’ by engaging in hard conversations, challenging each other, and being present during struggles, rather than solely chasing the easy, glamorous moments of ‘falling in love’.
Recognize that real friends are those who are willing to challenge you and call you out when needed, not just those who offer superficial praise, as this indicates a deeper, earned bond.
Identify and cherish ‘darkest hour friends’ – those who support you when you have nothing to offer in return – and strive to be such a friend to others.
Categorize friends as ’leaves’ (seasonal, fair-weather), ‘branches’ (somewhat supportive but not to be leaned on heavily), and ‘roots’ (deeply grounded, always there), and adjust your expectations accordingly.
Experiment with ‘Starting with Zero’ by interacting with loved ones (e.g., your partner) for a set period (e.g., seven days) as if it’s the first time you’ve met them, to overcome past biases and see them anew.
Understand that loneliness is relative; if your ’life bucket’ feels full and you feel you are living well, the absolute number or proximity of friends may not matter as much as the depth of connection you feel.
Recognize that all areas of wealth, like physical health, require daily investment and maintenance to prevent natural decay and atrophy; consistent effort is key.
Acknowledge that life has seasons, and priorities for different wealth areas will shift (e.g., financial focus in 20s, family in 30s), but maintain all areas on a ‘dimmer switch’ (small, consistent effort) rather than an on/off switch.
As a partner and parent, make an effort to vocalize and highlight the ’tiny, almost invisible acts of love’ your partner performs for your children, ensuring the children understand their mother’s deep affection as they grow.
Acknowledge your mistakes and apologize to your children, demonstrating that parents are human and fallible, which is beneficial for their development and understanding of the world.
Provide children with the gift of observing hard conversations and subsequent apologies and healing within the household, teaching them that growth comes from enduring difficult situations and making amends.
Recognize that the ‘good old days’ are happening now and that your future self will wish they could relive today’s moments, fostering daily appreciation.
Regularly ask yourself what you currently take for granted that you would deeply miss if it were gone tomorrow, to foster appreciation and prevent complaining about your blessings.
Be mindful that current blessings might be past prayers; if you find yourself complaining about things you once wished for, call yourself out and embrace gratitude in the moment.
Aim for work-life harmony where your professional and personal lives, and the people in them, are integrated and aligned on a shared mission, rather than viewing them as separate entities to be balanced.
When working hard, include your children in your professional journey by explaining the ‘why’ behind your efforts and how it lights you up or helps others, so they feel included and don’t fill your absence with negative assumptions.
Continuously measure your progress across all areas of wealth (e.g., monthly) to ensure focus and drive actions that build a truly wealthy existence, moving beyond just financial metrics.
Test your chosen Life Razor by asking: Is it controllable (can you act on it)? Is it ripple-creating (does it have broader positive effects)? Is it identity-creating (does it define who you are)?
Once you have a Life Razor, use it to guide your actions and priorities, ensuring that every decision aligns with the identity and values you’ve defined for yourself (e.g., prioritizing family time over high-travel work).
It’s acceptable for life balances to temporarily shift (e.g., during intense work periods) as long as you are consciously aware of the shift and ensure it does not become a prolonged state.
Intentionally dedicate weekends to family, ensuring you are present and energetic, rather than just physically present but exhausted from other commitments.
Calculate the remaining number of times you might see aging parents to confront the impermanence of time and prompt significant life changes to prioritize family connections.
Have your partner complete the wealth score quiz for you, and you for them, to compare perceptions and gain insight into the quality of your responses, especially regarding relationships.
Use tools like the ‘wealth score quiz’ (wealthscorequiz.com) to measure your progress across the five types of wealth, establishing a baseline to build against and taking action based on the results.