Begin by asking ‘Who do I want to become?’ and then identify the habits that reinforce that desired identity, rather than focusing solely on external outcomes. This approach shifts behavior from an obligation to an alignment with who you see yourself to be.
Understand that you fall to the level of your systems, which are your daily habits, not your goals. If there’s a gap between your desired outcome and your daily habits, your habits will always win, so fix the inputs (habits) and the outputs (results) will fix themselves.
To intentionally change your behavior, start by identifying what you are actually doing right now and what you truly want to become or achieve. This clear understanding of your current state and desired future is an essential first step to bridging the gap.
Scale down any new habit to something that takes two minutes or less to do, like ‘meditate for two minutes’ instead of ‘meditate for 15 minutes.’ This helps you master the art of showing up and establishes the habit before you try to improve or optimize it.
Optimize your surroundings to make good habits the path of least resistance and bad habits more difficult or invisible. This involves priming your environment for productive action, such as placing books visibly or moving distracting apps off your phone’s home screen.
Join or create a group where your desired behavior is the normal behavior, as belonging often overpowers the desire to improve. This applies to both your physical social circles and your online interactions, where you should intentionally curate who you follow to shape your thoughts positively.
To build good habits, make them Obvious (visible cues), Attractive (motivating), Easy (convenient and frictionless), and Satisfying (immediately rewarding). To break bad habits, invert these laws: make them Invisible, Unattractive, Difficult, and Unsatisfying.
Implement the cardinal rule of behavior change: behaviors that are immediately rewarded get repeated, and behaviors that are immediately punished get avoided. The speed at which a reward or consequence is delivered is key to influencing future actions.
Recognize ‘meta habits’ that, when performed, create a ripple effect of positive changes across other areas of your life. Examples include getting good sleep, reading regularly, exercising, or a daily walk, which can naturally lead to better nutrition, focus, and energy.
When using external rewards, choose ones that reinforce the internal identity you are trying to build. For example, reward yourself for working out with a bubble bath (taking care of your body) rather than an ice cream cone (counteracting health goals).
Clearly define when and where a new habit will occur by stating your intention to implement a specific behavior at a certain time and place (e.g., ‘I will meditate on Mondays at 7 AM in my guest room’). This provides clarity and makes the habit more obvious.
Utilize a habit tracker, such as a calendar where you mark an ‘X’ for each successful completion, to provide immediate visual evidence of your progress. This feeling of moving forward is highly motivating and reinforces the habit, especially when long-term results aren’t yet visible.
For long-term goals that lack immediate natural feedback, intentionally create feedback loops to stay motivated. This could involve sharing drafts with an editor for a book or finding ways to get early responses to your work.
Instead of labeling habits as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ consider whether they are truly effective at solving the problem you are facing in that moment. This shifts judgment to a more objective assessment of their utility.
Understand that habits are a lifestyle to live, not a finish line to cross, meaning there’s no set number of days after which a habit is ‘built.’ Focus on integrating changes into your new normal for long-term sustainability rather than short-term sprints.