Instead of seeking solutions to problems, which reinforces the belief that you have a problem, adopt a process of dissolution to access freedom and get rid of the problem altogether.
When you get upset by something or someone, view it as an opportunity to discover where you are not free and to become a more powerful human being, as the perceived threat is within you.
When triggered by a negative emotion, ask yourself what is being triggered within you, because all the fear causing that reaction resides internally.
Shift from a victim mentality to taking 100% responsibility for your relationship to life, understanding that your interpretation superimposes your narrative on events.
Put a question mark at the end of your ideas about yourself (e.g., ‘Am I not lovable?’) to open up space and realize that these are often just opinions, not truths.
Work on forgiving yourself for your reactions and perceived flaws, as self-forgiveness is probably the greatest barrier to peace.
Cultivate compassion and understanding by recognizing that if you had the same upbringing, conditioning, and life experiences as another person, you would likely behave in the exact same way.
Become a better communicator by prioritizing deep listening, truly understanding another person’s reality rather than just waiting to react or formulate your own response.
Give yourself permission to have days where you feel bad or inadequate, as this self-acceptance opens up your capacity for all-embracing love.
Begin any change process by first embracing self-acceptance, acknowledging and validating where you currently are without judgment, before moving to action.
Recognize that who you are is an expression of pure love and possibility, and that negative self-views (inadequacy, insecurity) are merely lenses that lead to coping behaviors.
Avoid identifying yourself as ‘fat’ or ‘overweight’; instead, understand that your body is a physical form that currently carries excess weight, to avoid reinforcing a self-limiting belief.
Focus on shedding feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and the absence of love, as this emotional ‘weight loss’ is the true opportunity for freedom and a precursor to physical change.
Understand that your joy, happiness, and contentment are not predicated on how other people behave, allowing you to be at peace regardless of external circumstances.
Cultivate peace by allowing everything and everyone to be exactly the way they are, rather than trying to control external factors.
Redefine success as the ability to be at peace and comfortable in your own skin, regardless of external chaos or traditional markers of wealth and status.
Understand that true happiness is found in the absence of the search for it, by being present and content with life as it is now, rather than perpetually waiting for future scenarios.
Consider the possibility of being happy today, rather than postponing happiness for an aspirational future.
Reflect on the underlying energy and motivation behind your actions, distinguishing whether they are founded in self-love and appreciation or in self-survival and preservation.
Do not be embarrassed by what you feel; find a safe place, such as with a professional, a loving family member, or a great friend, to express your emotions.
When someone expresses negative feelings, listen and allow them to feel those things without immediately trying to fix or suppress their emotions, honoring their reality.
After practicing self-acceptance, make conscious choices for self-care and growth rather than reacting from a state of self-denial or the need to fix yourself.
When feeling overwhelmed or in a hurry, pause and ask if your life is truly in danger, or if it’s just a perception or feeling, to gain perspective.
Sit quietly, take deep breaths, and truly listen to loved ones without feeling the need to react, control, or manipulate, finding real relief in presence.
Consciously slow down your pace of life, taking a breath and being present, rather than constantly rushing towards a future where you hope to relax.
Understand that nourishment extends beyond food to include love, physical touch, and emotional support; seek these forms of nourishment to address underlying needs.
Tap into the unconditional love and acceptance you would feel for a newborn baby and apply that same preciousness and reverence to yourself, recognizing your own inherent worth.
Employ tools like daily journaling and affirmations, such as ‘I am enough,’ to reinforce self-love and compassion and challenge negative self-perceptions.
Understand that personal growth and change require process, time, and patience, and that these qualities are themselves expressions of self-love.
When working towards a goal like weight loss, set realistic, long-term expectations (e.g., 1-2 pounds per week) and reverse-engineer the timeline to give yourself breathing room and compassion.
Begin practicing self-love with small, achievable steps, such as reducing an unhealthy habit slightly, recognizing that even minor progress moves the needle towards self-care.
On days when you feel lousy, practice self-love and acceptance by not wallowing but instead engaging in self-care activities like rest, nature walks, or talking to a friend.
Embrace your own humanity, including flaws, and extend patience and compassion to yourself and others, recognizing that everyone is doing their best within their current limits of awareness.
Recognize that nothing is inherently good or bad; it is entirely your own interpretation and narrative that you superimpose on an event or person.
When facing relational or personal problems, consider that you are divorcing the version of yourself that attracted or created the problem, rather than just the external circumstance.