With the Children’s Wellbeing and Schools bill returning to the House of Commons imminently, it’s a key time to make your feelings known. Email your MP https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/email.
Today’s episode is about a topic that I am truly passionate about - the introduction of social media and smartphones into all aspects of our lives - and what impact this is having on us individually, collectively and, perhaps most urgently, what impact is this having on our children.
Jonathan Haidt is arguably one of the worlds’ most eminent psychologists. He is a Professor of Ethical Leadership at New York University’s Stern School of Business and the author of 4 best-selling books, including his latest ‘The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness’.
In this episode, Jonathan and I explore how the fundamental differences between online and real-world interactions are affecting young people's social, emotional and cognitive development. We discuss why girls face unique risks on social media, from damaged relationships and reputations to harassment, and how gaming and pornography are shaping boys' expectations of relationships.
Jonathan also shares some eye-opening data about the link between a decline in teen mental health and the widespread adoption of smartphones and social media. He emphasises the need for collective
action to create healthier norms around technology use, both at home and in schools.
We dive into practical strategies for parents, including setting clear boundaries and prioritising hobbies and family time. Our conversation also touches on the challenges of navigating technology use in a world where the pace of change has been so fast.
Jonathan remains optimistic that we're nearing a tipping point and outlines four key norms we can all adopt with our children—even if they’re already dependent on their phones throughout the day.
We also discuss in detail what we believe schools could be doing to help their students have less screen time and the importance of collaborating with other families to support healthier habits.
As a parent and a doctor, I'm deeply concerned about the mental health crisis facing our children and young people. But if, as a society, we can come together to raise awareness and take purposeful action, we can create a healthier future for the next generation.
I think this is one of the most important conversations that I have ever had on my podcast. Jonathan and I both believe that the rewiring of our children’s brains to be one of the most urgent societal harms that needs addressing.
My hope is that you find this conversation eye opening, enlightening and thought provoking - and I very much hope it prompts you to take action.
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Actionable Insights
1. Adopt the ‘Four Norms’
Implement four key norms for children: no smartphone before secondary school (UK) or high school (US), no social media until age 16, phone-free schools with secure storage, and significantly more free play, independence, and real-world responsibility.
Share this conversation with friends, schools, teachers, and parent groups, and email your MP via smartphonefreechildhood.org/email to advocate for raising the minimum age for social media use to 16.
3. Implement Phone-Free Schools
Advocate for and implement policies in schools to make them phone-free, using phone lockers or lockable pouches to store devices throughout the school day.
4. Collaborate with Other Parents
Team up with a few other families to collectively delay smartphone adoption for your children, making it easier to resist social pressure and provide a healthier childhood.
5. Prioritize Play-Based Childhood
Shift your perspective to actively provide a play-based childhood, focusing on giving children opportunities for unsupervised free play and adventures, rather than just taking away phone-based activities.
6. Delay Unlimited Internet Immersion
Delay the age at which your child has unlimited, on-demand internet immersion, and establish clear rules for smartphone use at home, such as requiring devices to be put aside in common areas.
7. Manage Smartphone Notifications Strictly
If your child has a smartphone, turn off almost all notifications to prevent constant interruptions and ensure the device remains a tool rather than a master of their attention.
Intentionally increase children’s time with relatives and foster a strong sense of family, tradition, and community to provide grounding and resilience.
9. Provide Meaningful Responsibilities
Give children errands, chores, and responsibilities to foster a sense of usefulness, contribution, and pride within the family, countering feelings of despair and uselessness.
Advocate for primary schools to be pen-and-paper environments with no personal technology for students and no requirements for screen-based homework.
11. Gradually Reduce Screen Time
Implement a phased reduction of screen time for children, starting with specific times like half an hour before bed and in the morning, gradually increasing screen-free periods.
12. Enroll in Phone-Free Camps
Consider sending children to sleepaway camps or similar experiences that offer a digital detox, fun, adventure, and opportunities for risky play with peers.
13. Cultivate Mindfulness and Stillness
Practice meditation and stillness to counter the fragmented, distracting nature of online life, helping to gain control of consciousness and improve focus.
14. Encourage Outdoor Time, Nature
Promote spending more time outside and engaging with the beauty of the world without the immediate urge to document it for social media, fostering presence and self-transcendence.
15. Encourage Reading Physical Books
Prioritize learning from physical books over screens for better information retention, as physical books offer a more embodied and less distracting interaction.
16. Adopt Authoritative Parenting Style
Strive for an authoritative parenting style by setting clear rules and structure, explaining them to children, and being flexible when appropriate, rather than drifting into permissiveness.
17. Establish Consistent Boundaries Early
Set clear boundaries and establish structure from a young age, making it easier to implement and enforce limits on technology as children grow older.
18. Understand Smartphones Block Experiences
Recognize that smartphones act as ’experience blockers’ for children, reducing their engagement in essential real-world experiences needed for proper brain development.
19. Shift from Individual to Systemic Blame
Understand that the widespread issues with children’s technology use are systemic and product-driven, not solely the fault of individual parents, which can empower collective action.
20. Adopt Critical Digital Exposure Approach
Adopt a critical and cautious approach to children’s digital exposure, recognizing that current widespread practices may be viewed as harmful in the future, similar to past views on junk food.