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Gareth Southgate on The Football Skills That Transfer to Life #140

Dec 16, 2020 1h 39m 34 insights
Today’s guest joins me fresh from a run of autumn camps with the England football team. He’s their manager, Gareth Southgate OBE, and I speak to him about his new book, Anything Is Possible. It’s not really a football memoir, but more a guide to life and there are brilliant lessons for all of us in there – non-football fans included! Gareth had an illustrious career as a professional football player in the 1990s and as England manager, took the England team to the semi-finals of the 2018 FIFA World Cup for the first time in 28 years. We discuss how Gareth achieved this by employing psychologists (such as my former guest Pippa Grange), modelling emotional intelligence and communicating with each player as an individual. He promotes a mindset of positive drivers not negative drivers: focusing on what players might achieve, rather than what might go wrong. Most importantly, he reinstated a sense of fun. I love his humble, warm, inclusive approach. Under his watch, footballers have started to look more like role models again. Gareth explains how he used to be a shy teenage player and with his book, he aims to help youngsters get over self-limiting beliefs, nerves and anxieties and learn to be brave – and he shares some great dressing-room stories with me as examples. It may be written for children and young people, with Gareth’s role as ambassador for The Prince’s Trust in mind, but it contains universal wisdom for all ages. I had so much to ask him, and we managed to cover topics from how players cope without a crowd, to how he breaks the news when someone’s not made the team and the real meaning of bravery. We talk about the pressures on players from social media but also how it can be a force for good, helping Raheem Stirling and Marcus Rashford change attitudes and lives through their respective campaigns against racism and childhood hunger. I can’t emphasise enough that you don’t need to be into football to appreciate this conversation. It’s about having confidence, working hard, taking responsibility and being authentic. It was such an honour to speak with Gareth and he’s certainly reignited my love of the beautiful game. I can’t help but agree with him that when we come together in a positive way over sport, it has the potential to change the world. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Show notes available at https://drchatterjee.com/140 Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee/ Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Four Pillars of Health

Prioritize the four pillars of health: food, movement, sleep, and relaxation, as these basic practices are fundamental for both physical and mental well-being and enable you to take on challenges.

2. Cultivate Mental Fitness

View mental well-being as “mental fitness,” something you can actively work on, improve, and take control of, much like physical fitness.

3. Embrace Vulnerability and Authenticity

Be brave enough to be your authentic self, embracing vulnerability by taking off your masks and showing the world who you are, “warts and all.”

4. Step Out of Comfort Zone

To achieve anything worthwhile in life, consciously step out of what is comfortable for you, as these moments can be acts of extreme bravery.

5. Focus on Controllables

Focus your energy and attention on the things within your control, such as preparation and effort, rather than worrying about outcomes that are beyond your influence.

6. Break Down Big Goals

Break down large, daunting goals into small, manageable chunks by focusing on daily preparation and individual steps, making the ultimate objective seem less overwhelming.

7. Focus on Positive Drivers

Adopt a mindset that focuses on positive drivers and what you might achieve, rather than dwelling on what might go wrong.

8. Think About What’s Possible

Shift your mindset to focus on what is possible and what you can achieve, rather than dwelling on what might go wrong.

9. Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs

Work to get over your self-limiting beliefs, nerves, and anxieties to learn to be brave and pursue what you want.

10. Reintroduce Fun into Work

Reintroduce a sense of fun into your work or activities, as joy and enjoyment are crucial parts of sustained engagement and performance.

11. Separate Work and Home Life

Consciously divide your time and switch off from work when at home, ensuring you give family time and yourself time to recharge and re-energize.

12. Strategically Consume Media

Be strategic about when you consume media and social media; read it when you need to understand the world, but switch off when it fills your head with negativity or distracts you from your goals.

13. Give Honest, Empathetic Feedback

Deliver honest feedback with clarity and empathy, as this approach is crucial for maintaining respect and providing actionable insights for improvement, even if the message is difficult.

14. Adapt Communication to Individuals

Recognize that people are individuals and respond differently, so adapt your communication style to each person rather than treating everyone the same.

15. Understand Your Team’s Motivations

Deeply understand the background, interests, and motivations of your staff or team members, as this knowledge helps in effective communication and support.

16. Make Work Purposeful and Valued

Ensure your team members feel their work is purposeful and that they are valued, as this alignment and appreciation enable the entire team to perform at its best.

17. Delegate and Trust Your Staff

Delegate tasks and show trust in your staff, recognizing that you cannot be an expert in every area and sharing the load leads to better outcomes.

18. Cultivate Challenging Opinions

As a leader, actively ensure your team includes people with different views who are prepared to challenge your opinions, creating a safe environment for honest feedback.

19. Withhold Opinion for Openness

As a leader, withhold your own opinion until others have spoken to encourage their freedom to speak and ensure they feel safe to express dissenting views.

20. Be Open to Improvement Suggestions

Be a “sponge” and remain open to suggestions for improvement in all areas, constantly searching for advice or knowledge that can help you maximize your ability.

21. Coach for Improvement, Not Just Criticism

As a coach or teacher, focus on helping others improve and be their best selves by recognizing what they do well and offering suggestions for growth, rather than solely being critical.

22. Identify Patterns in Errors

When coaching, focus on identifying patterns in consistent errors or behaviors rather than individual mistakes, as this allows for more effective and targeted improvement.

23. Encourage Personal Responsibility

Foster an environment where individuals take personal responsibility and ownership for their own improvement and actions.

24. Allow Emotional Processing

When delivering difficult news, allow individuals to process their emotions and have their moment, then work together to find a way forward.

25. Learn from Every Person

Believe that you can learn something from every single person you meet, as valuable lessons can come from unexpected sources.

26. Acknowledge Shared Feelings

Recognize that others often experience the same feelings and anxieties as you, as knowing you’re not alone is a powerful and undervalued source of comfort and connection.

27. Simplify Complex Information

When communicating, especially to a mass audience or team, strive to make complex situations simple and provide just enough information to avoid confusion.

28. Treat Others as You Wish

Treat people as you would like to be treated, as this fundamental principle fosters respect and positive interactions.

29. Write Your Own Story

Recognize that you shouldn’t be burdened by past failures or expectations, and instead, focus on writing your own unique story and history.

30. Foster a Desired Environment

Create an environment where people genuinely want to be and look forward to returning, whether it’s a workplace, team, or family setting, as this fosters better performance and connection.

31. Address Basic Human Needs

Recognize and address fundamental human needs such as wanting to be heard, loved, have fun, enjoy oneself, and be brave enough to be oneself without criticism.

32. Utilize Psychology for Advantage

Recognize that psychology offers a significant untapped advantage in performance, and actively engage in individual mental work to achieve more.

33. Show Tolerance, Understand Difference

Cultivate more tolerance, understanding, and acceptance of differences in others, recognizing that everyone is a product of their unique education and upbringing.

34. Work Collectively for Goals

Identify common problems and work collectively with others towards solutions, as powerful change is achieved through unified effort.