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Dr Gabor Maté on Why We Are All Addicts #169

Mar 30, 2021 1h 25m 17 insights
CAUTION ADVISED: This podcast contains themes of an adult nature. This week, I’ve decided to re-release a conversation that I had over 2 years ago, yet one that still remains one of the most important conversations that I’ve had to date on this podcast. Since I first released this conversation back on episode 37 of the podcast, the number of listeners has grown exponentially and I’m really keen that all of my new listeners hear this conversation. For those of you who have already heard the conversation, I think you will still get a huge amount of value from re-listening. Dr Gabor Maté is one of the world’s most revered thinkers on the psychology of addiction, his radical findings based on decades of work with patients, challenged by catastrophic drug addiction and mental illness are reframing how we view all human development. Dr Maté firmly believes that addiction is not a choice, neither is it all about drugs and illicit substances. Instead, he believes that addiction affects most of us – whether it be to alcohol, nicotine, sugar, work, or exercise…the list is endless. According to Dr. Maté, the source of addiction is not to be found in our genes but in our early childhood. He calls for a compassionate approach toward addiction, whether in ourselves or others. As he puts it, the question we need to ask is not why the addiction, but why the pain. We also talk about how we now live in a culture that doesn’t meet our human needs. Indeed, the conditions necessary for healthy child development are increasingly under threat in today’s society. We delve into how our emotional stress can translate into physical chronic illnesses. Loneliness and a lack of meaningful connection are on the rise, as are the rates of autoimmune disease and addiction. It was a real honour to sit down and talk eye-to-eye with Gabor about his truly revolutionary work. This was a deep and powerful conversation and I hope it helps you in your life. Show notes available at https://drchatterjee.com/169 Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee/ Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Actionable Insights

1. Address Addiction’s Root Pain

When dealing with addiction, shift focus from the behavior to the underlying pain, asking “why the pain?” instead of “why the addiction,” as addiction is an attempt to soothe emotional distress.

2. Recognize Addiction as Emotional Regulation

Understand that all addictions are attempts to regulate unbearable internal emotional states through external means. This perspective fosters compassion and a deeper understanding of the addictive process.

3. Heal Childhood Wounds for Change

Take ownership of your life by recognizing that current behaviors often stem from childhood wounds or trauma. To truly change, focus on healing these underlying wounds, which will naturally lead to desired behavioral shifts.

4. Prioritize Fundamental Life Changes

When aiming for better health or overcoming addiction, focus on making fundamental “life changes” rather than just superficial “lifestyle changes.” This involves transforming the core of how life is lived, not just external behaviors.

5. Become Conscious for Health

To positively impact your physical physiology, become conscious of the unconscious emotional patterns and behaviors you’ve adopted. This awareness is crucial for stopping detrimental actions or doing things differently.

6. Cultivate Awareness for Responsibility

Develop self-awareness to become “response-able,” meaning capable of responding effectively to your circumstances rather than being driven by ingrained, unconscious patterns. This liberation from old patterns is key to personal growth.

7. Process Emotional Baggage Through Therapy

Engage in regular therapy or deep self-reflection to uncover and process emotional baggage and deeper psychological layers. This practice can lead to significant behavioral changes and a truer sense of self.

8. Shed Defensive Personality Traits

Recognize that much of what is perceived as personality might be a defensive structure formed in childhood to cope with pain. By understanding and shedding these adaptations, you can become more authentic, balanced, and happier.

9. Identify Broad Addiction Patterns

Apply a broader definition of addiction—craving temporary pleasure/relief, suffering long-term negative consequences, and inability to stop—to identify any behaviors, not just substance use, that may be addictive in your own life. This self-assessment aids in recognizing a wider spectrum of addictive patterns.

10. Heed Body’s Stress Warnings

Interpret physical symptoms, such as high blood pressure, as important warnings from your body indicating excessive tension or stress. This calls for addressing the underlying sources of stress in your life rather than solely treating the symptom.

11. Prioritize Real-Life Friendships

Make seeing friends in real life a priority, recognizing it as a necessity for human health rather than a luxury. Actively schedule in-person interactions to foster genuine connection and combat loneliness.

12. Practice Self-Compassion for Healing

Treat yourself with compassion and avoid self-blame for past choices, understanding that many behaviors, including addictive ones, are often unconscious protective mechanisms or adaptations. This compassionate approach supports the healing process.

13. Cultivate Faith in Healing Capacity

Develop faith and curiosity in the tremendous innate healing capacity of human beings, recognizing that individuals possess a powerful ability to overcome challenges like addiction and illness. Focus on questions that promote wholeness and self-empowerment.

14. Be Agent of Your Own Healing

Actively seek out diverse sources of help for healing, looking beyond conventional wisdom and not solely relying on credentials. Take an active role as the “agent in your own healing” to find effective support.

15. Be Architect of Your Health

Take an active role in designing and managing your own health journey, becoming the “architect of your own health.” This involves making informed choices and seeking appropriate support tailored to your unique needs.

16. Seek Self-Knowledge Through Resources

Explore books, talks, and other resources from experts to gain self-knowledge and understanding. These resources can serve as a mirror to your own experiences, providing insights for personal growth and healing.

17. Ask Questions, Find Answers

Initiate your journey of self-discovery by asking profound questions about your life and experiences. This readiness to inquire often leads to the appearance of necessary answers and guidance for personal transformation.