← Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

BONUS | Gareth Southgate: Anything is Possible

Jul 9, 2021 1h 39m 25 insights
RE-RELEASE: This episode first aired in December 2020. Today’s guest joins me fresh from a run of autumn camps with the England football team. He’s their manager, Gareth Southgate OBE, and I speak to him about his new book, Anything Is Possible. It’s not really a football memoir, but more a guide to life and there are brilliant lessons for all of us in there – non-football fans included! Gareth had an illustrious career as a professional football player in the 1990s and as England manager, took the England team to the semi-finals of the 2018 FIFA World Cup for the first time in 28 years. We discuss how Gareth achieved this by employing psychologists (such as my former guest Pippa Grange), modelling emotional intelligence and communicating with each player as an individual. He promotes a mindset of positive drivers not negative drivers: focusing on what players might achieve, rather than what might go wrong. Most importantly, he reinstated a sense of fun. I love his humble, warm, inclusive approach. Under his watch, footballers have started to look more like role models again. Gareth explains how he used to be a shy teenage player and with his book, he aims to help youngsters get over self-limiting beliefs, nerves and anxieties and learn to be brave – and he shares some great dressing-room stories with me as examples. It may be written for children and young people, with Gareth’s role as ambassador for The Prince’s Trust in mind, but it contains universal wisdom for all ages. I had so much to ask him, and we managed to cover topics from how players cope without a crowd, to how he breaks the news when someone’s not made the team and the real meaning of bravery. We talk about the pressures on players from social media but also how it can be a force for good, helping Raheem Stirling and Marcus Rashford change attitudes and lives through their respective campaigns against racism and childhood hunger. I can’t emphasize enough that you don’t need to be into football to appreciate this conversation. It’s about having confidence, working hard, taking responsibility and being authentic. It was such an honour to speak with Gareth and he’s certainly reignited my love of the beautiful game. I can’t help but agree with him that when we come together in a positive way over sport, it has the potential to change the world. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Show notes available at https://drchatterjee.com/140 Follow me on https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee Follow me on https://www.facebook.com/DrChatterjee Follow me on https://twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Basic Health Pillars

Consistently prioritize fundamental health practices like good nutrition, sufficient sleep, regular exercise, and time away from work for relaxation. These simple things are crucial for maintaining mental alertness, physical well-being, and the robustness needed to take on any challenge.

2. Step Out of Comfort Zone

Actively put yourself forward and accept challenges, especially when you’re not at your best, to step out of what’s comfortable. This is a moment of extreme bravery and necessary to achieve anything worthwhile in life.

3. Model Emotional Intelligence Individually

Model emotional intelligence and communicate with each person as an individual, recognizing that everyone responds differently. This approach is crucial for getting the best performance and support from your team or family.

4. Break Down Big Goals

Deconstruct large, daunting goals into smaller, manageable daily or incremental steps, like running a marathon by slowly building up distance. This makes the ultimate goal seem less unmanageable and reduces overwhelming pressure.

5. Focus on Controllables

Direct your energy and focus only on aspects of a situation that are within your control, such as preparation and effort. This reduces worry about uncontrollable outcomes and allows for more effective action.

6. Cultivate Mental Fitness

Actively work on improving your mental fitness, viewing it as something you can train and get better at, similar to physical fitness. This approach enhances overall well-being and provides a sense of control over your mental state.

7. Reintroduce Fun and Enjoyment

Actively reintroduce or maintain a sense of fun and enjoyment in your work and daily life. Regularly doing things you enjoy makes you more resilient to stress and helps maximize performance.

8. Be Honest and Empathetic

When delivering difficult news or feedback, be honest and clear, but always with empathy. This approach maintains respect, provides actionable information for improvement, and prevents further problems.

9. Manage Media Consumption

Be mindful of when and what media or social media you consume, especially during vulnerable times or when high performance is required. This helps avoid negativity, indecision, and distraction, protecting your mental well-being and focus.

10. Recognize Shared Feelings

Understand that others, even those who appear strong or unflappable, experience nerves and similar feelings of apprehension. This realization can be a powerful source of comfort, knowing you are not alone in your experiences.

11. Promote Positive Drivers

Adopt a mindset that focuses on positive drivers and what you might achieve, rather than dwelling on what could go wrong. This shift encourages better performance and a more optimistic outlook.

12. Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs

Actively work on getting over your self-limiting beliefs, nerves, and anxieties. This process is essential for learning to be brave and realizing your full potential.

13. Seek Diverse Views and Challenge

Actively surround yourself with people who hold different views and are prepared to challenge your opinions. This practice helps avoid bias in decision-making and ensures continuous group improvement.

14. Withhold Initial Opinion

As a leader, initially withhold your own opinion during discussions until others have spoken. This creates a safe environment, encouraging team members to express honest views without fear of contradicting the boss.

15. Delegate and Trust Staff

Delegate tasks and demonstrate trust in your team members. This shares the workload, prevents burnout, and empowers your staff.

16. Allow Processing of Emotions

After delivering difficult news or feedback, allow the recipient time and space to process their emotions. This enables them to move past initial negative reactions and find a constructive path forward.

17. Focus on Patterns, Not Single Errors

When coaching or giving feedback, focus on identifying trends of behavior or consistent technical problems rather than isolated individual errors. People usually know their single mistakes, but addressing patterns leads to more effective improvement.

18. Treat Others as You Wish

Interact with others with the same respect, kindness, and consideration you would like to receive yourself. This fundamental principle fosters positive interactions and reflects decency.

19. Recognize Ordinary in Extraordinary

Maintain perspective by recognizing that even in high-profile roles, you are an ordinary person facing similar life challenges as others. This helps maintain humility, appreciation for your position, and a balanced view of yourself.

20. Make Complex Situations Simple

When communicating, especially with a mass audience or a team, simplify complex situations. This ensures clarity, prevents confusion, and avoids clouding the message.

21. Study Others’ Interactions

Observe and learn from how other people communicate and interact in various situations. This practice helps improve your own communication skills and adaptability.

22. Identify Your Strengths

Cultivate self-awareness by identifying your personal strengths. This awareness is an important skill necessary for personal change and progress.

23. Write Your Own Story

Recognize that you have the power to create your own narrative and future, unburdened by past failures or external expectations. This fosters a mindset of possibility and personal agency.

24. Be Open to Improvement

Maintain an open mindset and actively seek advice, books, or people that can help you improve in various aspects of your life. This approach helps you continuously develop and maximize your abilities.

25. Find What People Do Well

As a mentor, teacher, or leader, actively seek out and acknowledge when people are doing things well. This positive reinforcement helps others improve and become their best selves, rather than solely focusing on criticism.