When experiencing chatter, coach yourself through a problem using your own name (e.g., “LeBron, here’s what you got to do”) or the pronoun “you.” This leverages language to create an automatic perspective switch, helping you relate to yourself like another person and reframe threats as manageable challenges.
When consumed by chatter and tunnel vision, consciously step back or “zoom out” to focus on the bigger picture. This helps broaden your perspective, bringing alternative ways of understanding your experience that can be useful.
When experiencing strong negative emotions, resist the urge to simply vent your feelings to others without further processing. Research suggests that merely venting often backfires and can make you feel worse, as it doesn’t help you work through the problem or reframe your thinking.
When someone approaches you for help with their chatter, engage in a two-phase conversation: first, listen and learn about their experience to validate their feelings, then, when they’re ready, gently nudge them to broaden their perspective or explore solutions. This approach fosters connection while also helping them work through their experiences.
To help someone broaden their perspective during a conversation about their chatter, ask questions like, “How have you dealt with similar situations in the past?” or share your own relevant experiences. This helps break them out of tunnel vision and focus on solutions or a broader context.
When you see someone struggling but they haven’t explicitly asked for help, provide “invisible support” by easing their burden without them knowing you’re helping. This could involve taking on chores, running errands, or subtly providing resources (e.g., inviting them to a relevant workshop with others), which helps without threatening their sense of self-efficacy.
Avoid volunteering support for others when it’s not explicitly asked for, as it can often backfire. Unsolicited help can threaten the other person’s sense of self-efficacy, making them feel like you believe they can’t manage the situation on their own.