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BITESIZE | The #1 Lesson From The World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness | Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz #441

Apr 4, 2024 20m 41s 16 insights
By the end of today’s episode, I’m pretty sure you’ll feel inspired to reconnect with an old friend, phone that family member you don’t see enough of, or make plans for a face-to-face get-together. You’ll feel happier, and even be healthier, if you do because the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my weekly podcast for your mind, body, and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests. Today’s clip is from episode 364 of the podcast with co-authors of The Good Life: Lessons From The World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness - Professors Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz. They are the directors of the Harvard Study of Adult Development which is an extraordinary research project that started all the way back in 1938 and is now in its 85th year. In this clip they share why having high quality relationships may just be one of the most important things we can do for our happiness and our mental and physical health. Thanks to our sponsor https://www.drinkag1.com/livemore Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/364 Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Relationship Contact

Make frequent and high-quality contact with important people in your life a priority, as these relationships are major predictors of happiness, health, and longevity, and prevent connections from withering away.

2. Invest Time in Relationships

Consciously choose to spend more time with people you care about and less time at work, as a common regret later in life is not having spent enough time with loved ones.

3. Use Relationships for Stress

Engage in good relationships to regulate negative emotions and reduce stress, as talking to someone you trust can calm your body and prevent the chronic stress response associated with loneliness.

4. Cultivate Secure Attachments

Strive to cultivate at least one or two securely attached relationships where you feel confident that someone will be there for you in times of trouble, as this is a fundamental human need.

5. Diversify Your Relationships

Avoid the fiction that one primary relationship can fulfill all your needs; instead, cultivate a diverse collection of relationships to gain different kinds of support, fun, and self-discovery.

6. Schedule Social Interactions

Be intentional about scheduling time with important people, such as walks or dinners, to actively maintain relationships and prevent them from withering away from neglect.

7. Practice Kindness & Generosity

Regularly practice generosity and kindness towards others, whether through words of appreciation or acts of service, as these actions bring joy, connection, and emotional and physical benefits back to the giver.

8. Cultivate Radical Curiosity

Adopt a mindset of radical curiosity towards others, seeking to understand their experiences, motivations, and perspectives without judgment, as this deepens connection and fosters appreciation for differences.

9. Show Genuine Interest

Demonstrate genuine interest in what others are experiencing, even if you can’t always figure it out, as the perception of care and curiosity is highly valued in relationships.

10. Practice Presence & Attention

When interacting with others, be fully present and attentive by actively listening, as this makes people feel valued and understood, strengthening relationships.

11. Learn New Relationship ‘Dance Steps’

Actively learn ’new dance steps’ in your relationships by trying new activities together and adapting to each other’s changes, which helps keep long-term connections fresh and engaging.

12. Adapt to Relationship Evolution

Recognize that individuals and relationships are constantly changing; actively work to keep up with and support each other through this process of continual evolving.

13. Take Risks with Support

Utilize the support from securely attached relationships as a foundation to take risks, try new things, and have new experiences, knowing that others will encourage and support you.

14. Reconnect with Lost Contacts

If you’ve let relationships go, reach out to someone you miss with a simple text, email, or call, expressing that you were thinking of them, as people are often thrilled to reconnect.

15. Believe It’s Never Too Late

Understand that it’s never too late to improve your relationships or build new connections, as actions taken now can significantly impact your life and well-being.

16. Daily AG1 for Gut Health

Consider incorporating AG1, a daily health drink with gut bacteria and plant-based compounds, into your routine to support digestion and overall well-being, particularly during winter.