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BITESIZE | The # 1 Lesson From The World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness | Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz #603

Dec 12, 2025 24m 40s 17 insights
Today’s guests are both passionate about spreading the crucial message that high-quality relationships are one of the biggest predictors of happiness, health, and longevity. Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my weekly podcast for your mind, body, and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests. Today’s clip is from episode 364 of the podcast with co-authors of The Good Life: Lessons From The World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness – Professors Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz.  They are directors of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, an extraordinary research project that began in 1938 and has followed participants for more than eight decades. In this clip, they explain why nurturing high-quality relationships may be one of the most powerful things we can do to support both our long-term health and our happiness. By the end of today’s episode, I’m pretty sure you’ll feel inspired to reconnect with an old friend, phone that family member you don’t see enough of, or make plans for a face-to-face get-together. You’ll feel happier, and even be healthier, if you do because the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠https://drinkag1.com/livemore Show notes and the full podcast are available at https://drchatterjee.com/364 Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts ⁠⁠https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore⁠⁠ For other podcast platforms go to ⁠⁠https://fblm.supercast.com.
Actionable Insights

1. Invest in Relationships for Life

Actively invest time and effort into your relationships, as this is identified as the best long-term payoff for your life, significantly contributing to happiness, health, and longevity.

2. Nurture High-Quality Relationships

Prioritize nurturing high-quality relationships because they are one of the most powerful factors for long-term health and happiness, with an impact comparable to serious health risks like smoking and obesity.

3. Take Care of Your Body

Actively care for your physical body, recognizing it as a long-term investment you will need for your entire life.

4. Prioritize Relationship Frequency & Quality

Maintain both frequent contact and high-quality interactions with important people in your life. Frequency prevents relationships from withering, while quality provides stress reduction, energy, and affirmation.

5. Cultivate Securely Attached Relationships

Strive to develop at least one or two “securely attached relationships” where you feel someone will genuinely be there for you in times of trouble, which combats loneliness and provides crucial support.

6. Distribute Relational Investment

Distribute your emotional and social investment across multiple people rather than solely relying on one primary partner. This allows you to gain diverse benefits like fun, confiding, and self-discovery from various connections.

7. Be Intentional with Relationships

Regularly assess your relationships and intentionally make adjustments to how you invest in them, rather than letting them passively drift. This ensures active maintenance and prevents them from withering due to neglect.

8. Exercise Social Fitness

Actively “exercise” your relationship muscles by intentionally allotting time and energy to connect with important people. This is crucial as relationships, especially friendships, can wither from neglect amidst modern distractions.

9. Practice Generosity & Kindness

Engage in acts of generosity and kindness towards others, such as expressing appreciation or doing helpful deeds. These actions provide significant emotional and physical benefits to the giver, fostering joy and connection.

10. Learn New Relationship “Dance Steps”

Actively adapt to the changes in others and try new activities together within your relationships. This keeps long-term connections fresh, prevents staleness, and supports mutual growth.

11. Practice Radical Curiosity

Cultivate “radical curiosity” by genuinely trying to understand others’ experiences, motivations, and perspectives without judgment. This deepens connections, helps you appreciate differences, and makes others feel valued.

12. Be Attentive and Show Interest

Be present, attentive, and show genuine interest in what others are experiencing, even if you don’t fully understand it. This communicates care and makes people feel seen, heard, and appreciated.

13. Use Relationships for Support & Growth

Leverage good relationships as a supportive base that provides encouragement and the confidence to take risks and try new experiences. This allows for personal growth knowing you have backup.

14. Schedule Social Time Intentionally

Be proactive in scheduling social interactions, such as walks or dinners, with people you want to keep current with. This intentional effort is necessary to prevent relationships from withering due to busy schedules.

15. Reconnect with Lost Contacts

Reach out to someone you miss or have lost touch with by sending a simple text, email, or making a call to say you were thinking of them. People are often thrilled to hear from you, and it’s an easy way to reignite connections.

16. Avoid Regretting Time Misspent

Prioritize spending quality time with loved ones over excessive work commitments. Many people on their deathbeds regret not spending enough time with family and friends, making this a crucial life decision.

17. It’s Never Too Late

Understand that it is never too late to improve your relationships or build new connections, regardless of past experiences or current feelings of isolation. Taking action now can significantly impact your life.