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BITESIZE | Mel Robbins: How to Reduce Overwhelm, Reclaim Your Energy and Feel More In Control of Life #572

Jul 10, 2025 28m 7s 31 insights
Today’s guest shares a simple but powerful tool that can help you lower your stress levels, increase your energy and feel more in control of life. Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my weekly podcast for your mind, body, and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests. Today’s clip is from episode 525 of the podcast with best-selling author and expert in life improvement, mindset, and behaviour change, Mel Robbins. Studies show we spend up to 70% of our mental energy focusing on things we can’t control, which affects our relationships, stress levels and health.  In this clip, she shares two simple words that could help us start to break free. Mel has amassed an incredible 25 million followers online because of her unique ability to connect with others.  She is passionate, articulate and very relatable – and this episode is full of practical tools. Mel's book - ⁠The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About⁠. Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠https://www.drinkag1.com/livemore⁠⁠ Show notes and the full podcast are available at https://drchatterjee.com/525 Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts ⁠⁠https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore⁠⁠ For other podcast platforms go to ⁠⁠https://fblm.supercast.com.
Actionable Insights

1. Reclaim Personal Power

Recognize that true personal power comes from stopping the habit of giving your power away to others’ opinions, moods, or expectations.

2. Embrace “Let Them” Mindset

Adopt the “Let Them” mindset by consciously allowing others to have their own thoughts, opinions, successes, disappointments, and expectations without feeling the need to control or be affected by them.

3. Adopt “Let Me” Focus

After saying “Let Them,” shift focus to “Let Me” by reminding yourself that you control your thoughts, actions (including inaction), and emotional processing, thereby taking responsibility for your life.

4. Prioritize Personal Control

Redirect your energy from observing others to focusing on your own actions, time management, and responses, as these are within your direct control.

5. Unmask Fear of Judgment

Recognize that the fear of failure is often not about the failure itself, but about the fear of other people’s opinions and being perceived as inferior or a failure by them.

6. Leverage Jealousy for Action

When you feel jealousy or anger towards someone achieving what you desire, recognize it as a signal that your excuses are invalid and that the goal matters to you, prompting you to make a plan and take action.

7. Regulate Emotions with Breath

Actively manage your emotions by practicing techniques like the 3-4-5 breath to settle yourself, preventing emotions from overwhelming you and leading to regrettable actions.

8. Set Boundaries with “Let Them”

When bothered by external behaviors or situations you cannot control, say “Let Them” to yourself to establish a mental boundary, signaling that it’s not worth your time and energy.

9. Employ Active Stress Coping

When faced with daily stressors, consciously choose an active coping mechanism, such as leaving the situation, practicing a breathing technique (e.g., 3-4-5 breath), or closing your eyes, instead of passively reacting.

10. Shield Health from Stress

Consistently using simple tools like “Let Them” to insulate yourself from daily stressors protects your health by preventing the cumulative drain and negative impact of stress on your body.

11. Accept Lack of Control

Understand and accept that you can never control what other people think or their opinions of you, which helps in releasing the fear associated with their judgment.

12. Cultivate Inner Power

Recognize that your true power resides internally, in your thoughts, actions, and how you process your emotions, not in external circumstances or people.

13. Embrace Responsive Responsibility

Understand responsibility as your “ability to respond” to life’s circumstances, recognizing that you are always in control of your reactions and responses.

14. Release Control, Reduce Stress

Recognize that attempting to control uncontrollable external factors inevitably leads to personal stress and frustration.

15. Surrender for Greater Control

Understand that paradoxically, by letting go of the need to control everything, you actually gain more effective control over your life and well-being.

16. Practice Detachment with “Let Them”

Use the “Let Them” theory as a practical tool for detachment and radical acceptance in modern life, allowing you to live differently by releasing attachment to uncontrollable external factors.

17. Identify Power Given Away

Understand that exhaustion, lack of achievement, and overwhelm often stem from giving power to others’ thoughts, actions, moods, and expectations, rather than being the problem yourself.

18. Examine Fear of Failure

If you’re not pursuing desired changes or goals, consider if the underlying reason is a fear of failure, which often prevents you from even starting.

19. Affirm Personal Agency

Maintain the belief that you always have the power to act and change your situation, no matter the circumstances or excuses.

20. Cultivate Inner Security

Understand that personal insecurity, struggle, or a state of lack prevents you from genuinely supporting others, emphasizing the need for internal work first.

21. Own Your Potential

Realize that others’ success does not diminish your potential or take away what is meant for you; only your own inaction can hinder your progress.

22. Find Inspiration in Others

Instead of seeing others’ achievements as a loss or barrier, view them as evidence that your own goals are attainable, using their success as a guide and inspiration.

23. Cease Comparative Waste

Stop wasting valuable time and energy on jealousy and insecurity fueled by watching others, and instead, redirect that energy daily towards working on your own aspirations.

24. Interpret Jealousy’s Message

Instead of viewing jealousy as a negative trait, interpret it as a valuable signal from your inner self, indicating something important you desire or a value you are neglecting.

25. Harness Jealousy for Growth

Recognize jealousy as a powerful, albeit frustrating, emotion that can serve as a catalyst to awaken you to your true desires and motivate you to move towards your intended path.

26. Process Jealousy: Honest Action

When feeling jealous, first be honest with yourself about the emotion, then move to “Let Me” by understanding the precise source of jealousy and determining what actionable steps you can take for yourself.

27. Value Your Decisions Most

While caring about others’ opinions is natural, ensure you prioritize your own decisions and how you live your life over the weight you give to their views, especially family.

28. Accept Conflicting Truths

Develop the skill of accepting that two seemingly conflicting things can be true simultaneously, such as caring about others’ opinions while prioritizing your own choices.

29. Defuse Daily Stressors with “Let Them”

Begin practicing the “Let Them” theory by applying it to everyday stressors like slow queues or traffic, to protect yourself from unnecessary stress responses.

30. Schedule Undistracted Family Time

Intentionally schedule breaks from work, like a summer hiatus, to ensure quality, undistracted time with family, especially children, to foster well-being and relationships.

31. Share Valuable Content

If you find value in content like a podcast, share it with others (e.g., five people) to help spread positive messages and empower more individuals.