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BITESIZE | How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed | Oliver Burkeman #463

Jun 20, 2024 15m 44s 16 insights
In a world of demands, distractions and endless to-do lists, sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by all the things we have to do or want to do leaving us feeling stressed or anxious. Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my weekly podcast for your mind, body, and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests. Today’s clip is from episode 260 of the podcast with Oliver Burkeman - journalist and author of the brilliant book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management For Mortals. Oliver believes that many of the productivity hacks that we learn are a delusion. Time management doesn’t mean becoming more productive, it means deciding what to neglect. In this clip, he shares some of his tips to help overcome overwhelm, make better choices, and build a meaningful relationship with time. Thanks to our sponsor https://www.drinkag1.com/livemore Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/260
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Some, Neglect Others

Give up the futile quest to make time for everything that matters. Instead, consciously choose to make time for some things that matter and accept that other things will inevitably be neglected.

2. Decide What to Neglect

Reframe time management not as a quest for more productivity, but as a conscious decision about what tasks, relationships, or opportunities you will intentionally not do, due to finite limits.

3. Accept Your Finite Nature

Acknowledge that you are a finite creature in a world of infinite inputs and opportunities. This acceptance helps you make tough choices and prioritize, rather than striving for an impossible limitless existence.

4. Relinquish Unrealistic Control

Let go of the constant, anxious attempt to bring the world under your control. By dropping this desire, you can truly plunge into life and do things that count and matter to you, gaining real agency.

5. Prioritize Core Values Daily

If you know you won’t get everything done, make time today for something you truly care about, instead of postponing it until other tasks are completed. This aligns your actions with your values in the present.

6. Allow for “Wasted” Time

Be willing to “waste” time by engaging in non-instrumental activities, like staring at birds, which are not directly aimed at future goals. These moments can be deeply pleasurable, meaningful, and even lead to unexpected insights.

7. Be Present, Not an Overseer

Instead of constantly trying to “make the best use” of time as if it’s a resource to control, strive to be present in the moment of your life. Over-analyzing time use alienates you from experiencing life itself.

8. Cease Constant Time Analysis

Avoid spending all your waking hours constantly analyzing whether you are using your time well, as this pulls you out of the experience of living and prevents you from truly being in your life.

9. Focus on Experience, Not Outcome

Stop trying to make the most of every experience or achieve a specific outcome to fully relax into it. This approach can lead to a fuller experience and, paradoxically, even help you accomplish things.

10. Begin Projects Imperfectly

Start projects even if they are not perfect, understanding that imperfection and limits are inherent to bringing anything into reality. Avoid the trap of never starting to maintain a pristine, but unreal, mental image.

11. Use Deadlines to Combat Perfectionism

Engage in deadline-driven work or simply take action even with “bad ideas,” as this practical approach can help overcome perfectionism by forcing you to produce and learn that outcomes are often unpredictable.

12. Accept Reality’s Imperfection

Understand that perfection is not achievable in reality, and embracing this fact is central to navigating life’s challenges and avoiding frustration.

13. Improvise in Relationships

Recognize that relationships, especially with children, are constantly evolving and cannot be perfected. Embrace constant improvisation and “winging it” rather than striving for an impossible ideal.

14. Plan, Don’t Control the Future

It’s acceptable to plan and steer your day in a desired direction, but avoid the illusion that you are controlling the future from the present moment, as this is a source of anxiety.

15. Differentiate Expectation & Control

Recognize that you don’t truly “have” time in the future; you only expect it. Understand that you cannot control the future, which helps reduce anxiety caused by trying to dictate what will happen.

16. Cease Self-Berating for Limits

Avoid endlessly berating yourself for not being able to evade the inherent limits of being human. Instead, act from a place of being in touch with reality, accepting your constraints.