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BITESIZE | How to Silence Your Inner Critic (and Why You Should) | Dr Kristin Neff #589

Oct 23, 2025 23m 38s 11 insights
Self-compassion is a crucial ingredient that is often overlooked when it comes to living a happier and healthier life. Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my weekly podcast for your mind, body, and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests. Today’s clip is from episode 163 of the podcast with one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion Dr Kristin Neff. In this clip, she explains why self-compassion is so important for our wellbeing and our physical and mental health. She also gives some great tips to help us all silence our own inner critic. Kristin takes us through a beautiful practical exercise in finding self-compassion that I think you will really enjoy. This is such an important topic that doesn’t get spoken about enough in the conversation around health. Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drinkag1.com/livemore Show notes and the full podcast are available at https://drchatterjee.com/163 Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts ⁠⁠https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore⁠⁠ For other podcast platforms go to ⁠⁠https://fblm.supercast.com.
Actionable Insights

1. Practice Self-Compassion Break

Engage in a 5-minute ‘Self-Compassion Break’ when stressed or facing difficulty. This involves acknowledging your struggle (mindfulness), remembering that suffering is part of the human condition (common humanity), and offering yourself kindness through supportive touch and words, which helps to calm the nervous system and build resilience.

2. Embrace Self-Compassion as Antidote

Actively cultivate self-compassion as the antidote to harsh self-criticism, as it is linked to better physical and emotional health by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, leading to calmness, lower cortisol, and improved sleep.

3. Do Not Judge Self-Criticism

Avoid judging yourself for being self-critical or beating yourself up for beating yourself up. Recognize that self-criticism often stems from a natural, albeit counterproductive, attempt to stay safe and motivate change, and instead, have compassion for this innate threat defense response.

4. Adopt Compassionate Coach Mindset

Approach self-improvement with the mindset of a compassionate coach who believes in you, offering encouragement and support to learn from mistakes and improve, rather than using harsh criticism, which is more effective and sustainable for change.

5. Balance Fierce, Tender Compassion

Cultivate both ‘fierce’ self-compassion (motivation for change) and ’tender’ self-compassion (self-acceptance) in balance. Regularly assess what you need in the moment—more acceptance or more motivation—to maintain overall health and well-being.

6. Regularly Ask: What Do I Need?

Pause regularly throughout your day, especially when feeling overwhelmed or engaging in unhelpful behaviors, and ask yourself, ‘What do I really need in this moment to be healthy, happy, and whole?’ This simple question can guide you toward more supportive actions like rest or a cup of tea.

7. Engage Inner Critic Constructively

Instead of trying to shut down your inner critic, acknowledge its intention by saying, ‘Thank you, self-critic, I know you’re trying to help.’ Then, invite it to express its concerns in more constructive terms, allowing you to extract useful information without being overwhelmed by harshness.

8. Be Your Own Ally

Choose to be your own ally rather than an enemy in your mind, especially when facing life’s difficulties. Supporting yourself makes you stronger, more competent, and better able to cope with challenges, whereas self-criticism undermines your strength.

9. Use Authentic Self-Talk Language

When practicing self-compassion, use language that feels comfortable and authentic to you, rather than overly sweet or unbelievable phrases. This prevents internal conflict and allows you to genuinely intend to be more supportive toward yourself, even with phrases like ‘May I start to be kinder to myself.’

10. Advise Self Like Friend

When struggling, consider what you would say to a beloved friend in the exact same situation. Use this perspective to offer yourself words of kindness, support, and care, helping to foster a more compassionate internal dialogue.

11. Daily Gut Health Support

Consider incorporating AG1, a daily health drink, into your routine to support digestion and enrich your gut microbiome with beneficial bacteria. This can positively impact overall well-being, mood, and physical health, especially during winter.