Choose to believe that everyone, including your past self, was doing the best they could based on their knowledge and situation at the time, fostering a calmer, happier, and more compassionate life.
Understand that offense is generated internally by your own reaction, not inherently by external events, empowering you to choose your response and avoid chronic stress.
Accept past choices and their consequences with compassion, committing to different decisions if similar situations arise, rather than being consumed by guilt or shame.
Give up the habit of blaming external circumstances or people for your internal emotional responses, as this gives away your power and prevents long-term meaningful change.
Understand that regret, driven by guilt and shame (fear-based), hinders meaningful change and is a form of perfectionism, making it an unhelpful emotion.
Use past experiences as lessons to inform better decisions in the present and future, rather than being consumed by guilt and shame.
Spend time actively thinking about your personal relationship with your past to identify and address any lingering regrets, which is a crucial step towards reframing.
When feeling offended, pause and follow an 8-step process to gain clarity, consider intentions, build compassion, and explore alternative perspectives, reducing feelings of offense. This practice helps you take a more empowering perspective.
Intentionally incorporate small, uncomfortable actions into your daily routine to counteract the negative effects of excessive modern comfort on both physical and mental well-being, building resilience and capability.
Establish clear, internal rules for embracing discomfort (e.g., “always take the stairs”) to eliminate decision-making fatigue and consistently engage in challenging behaviors.
When experiencing emotional stress (often from taking offense), choose healthy coping mechanisms like walking or talking to a friend, instead of unhealthy ones like sugar, alcohol, or excessive doom scrolling.
Practice staying relatively emotionally neutral when faced with potentially offensive situations, allowing you to address issues more effectively without being consumed by anger or blame.
Choose to meditate each morning, which requires more effort than scrolling social media, to cultivate calmness and a sense of control.
Turn off your smartphone one hour before bed to improve sleep quality and potentially enhance intimacy with your partner.
Regularly choose to take the stairs instead of elevators or escalators to build strength and resilience over time.
Conclude your warm shower with 10-15 seconds of cold water to intentionally embrace discomfort, fostering psychological resilience and potentially reducing sick days.