Identify if you are performing at life rather than truly living it, and consciously choose to stop holding back and put fear aside to live the life you want. This is crucial because performing drains energy and prevents genuine living.
Avoid conforming to a single archetype or trimming your ‘untidy edges’ to fit a central idea of what ‘good enough’ looks like. Instead, freely share your opinions, views, and what you care about without holding back, as holding back leads to pain and loneliness.
Regularly ask yourself if you are performing at life or truly living it, but do so without self-blame. The goal is to find the ‘dial down button’ for performance, which often involves letting go, trusting yourself, and being brave.
Recognize that relationships and connecting with others are ’the point’ of life and the source of all joy. Shift focus from individual achievement to shared journeys and connection, as this is the fundamental reason for our existence.
Understand that intimacy means showing up as your real self, being close, and connecting, rather than performing. To achieve this, expose who you are and what you care about, as intimacy and performance are opposites.
Cultivate a deep sense of self-worth, believing that your worth isn’t questioned, before trying to connect intimately. When you show up with this self-assurance, it creates a powerful opportunity for genuine energy exchange and intimacy.
Avoid constantly apologizing for who you are or what you do, as this hinders intimacy. Instead, simply ‘be’ yourself without needing to ’neaten everything off,’ because intimacy allows for your full humanity.
Begin your journey towards greater intimacy by practicing eye contact when speaking to others, and resist immediately reverting to your phone in public spaces. This simple act helps foster connection and opens the door to deeper relationships.
Open yourself to kindness and honesty, as these qualities are often quickly reciprocated by others. This creates an environment for stronger energy exchange and deeper connection.