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BITESIZE | How to Create a Happy Life | Professor Paul Dolan #209

Oct 14, 2021 14m 47s 26 insights
We all want to be happy, but what truly brings us happiness is often not what we think.   Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my weekly podcast for your mind, body, and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests.   Today’s clip is from episode 54 of the podcast with behavioural scientist and author of the books ‘Happy Ever After’ and ‘Happiness by Design’, Professor Paul Dolan.   Paul believes that happiness is subjective and if we free ourselves from the myth of the perfect life, we can each create a life that’s worth living. Thanks to our sponsor http://www.athleticgreens.com/livemore Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3oAKmxi. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/54   Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Daily Felt Happiness

Pay direct attention to whether your daily activities genuinely make you feel good, rather than living according to external expectations or what you think should make you happy.

2. Design Environment for Good Habits

Design your environment to make it easier to form good habits and do things that make you feel good, leveraging the brain’s tendency to create automatic habit loops.

3. Prioritize Design Over Willpower

Focus on ‘design power’ by structuring your environment and routines to support good habits, rather than relying solely on ‘willpower,’ which is often weak.

4. Create Detailed Implementation Plans

Formulate a detailed plan for how you will implement your intentions to change behavior, as intentions alone are insufficient without a concrete plan.

5. Make Desired Actions Easy

To successfully do something you want, make the process as easy as possible so that it becomes encoded in habit and you do it without thinking.

6. Balance Pleasure and Purpose

Design your life to achieve a balance of pleasure (things you find fun) and purpose (things you find fulfilling) that works for you, as happiness is the combination of both.

7. Embrace ‘Just Enough’ Mindset

Adopt a ‘just enough’ mindset regarding wealth, success, and education, recognizing there’s a point where more of these things no longer contribute to happiness and can even be detrimental.

8. Practice Compassion Over Empathy

Cultivate compassion, a more detached form of caring, rather than empathy, to direct your pro-social time and money towards doing the most good for a wider range of people, not just those similar to you.

9. Cultivate Kindness, Compassion, Gratitude

Actively practice kindness, compassion, and gratitude, as these traits are highly associated with increased happiness, good health, and longer, healthier lives.

10. Free from Perfect Life Myth

Free yourself from the myth of the perfect life, as happiness is subjective, allowing you to create a life that’s worth living for yourself.

11. Prioritize Your Time

Recognize that often ’not having time’ for something means you haven’t prioritized it, and many people can find or make time for important activities.

12. Cultivate Supportive Social Networks

Surround yourself with people who engage in the behaviors you want to adopt, as social norms and peer effects significantly influence your actions.

13. Redesign Peer Groups for Goals

If your current social networks hinder desired behaviors (e.g., reducing alcohol intake), consider redesigning your peer groups to make it easier to achieve your goals, despite the potential difficulty.

14. Avoid Upward Social Comparison

Be aware that comparing your income and possessions upwards to those who have more can decrease your happiness, so actively work to avoid this tendency.

15. Question Constant Pursuit of ‘Next’

Challenge the societal pressure to constantly pursue ‘what’s next’ in terms of achievements, and instead, pause and appreciate the present.

16. Change Parental Narratives

As parents, actively work to change the narratives you pass on to your children, encouraging them to think beyond traditional measures of success like better jobs or more money.

17. Teach Different Use of Time/Money

Guide children to consider how they might use their time and money in ways that align with their happiness, rather than solely pursuing wealth or status.

18. Schedule Important Activities

Plan activities like workouts into your diary to ensure you have time for them, as prioritizing them makes it easier to get them done.

19. Use Salient Environmental Cues

Place visual cues or objects related to desired behaviors (e.g., a weights bench) in your environment to make them more salient and increase the likelihood of performing the action.

20. Make Good Temptations Visible

Place ’temptations’ that are good for you and align with desired behaviors directly in front of you to increase the likelihood of engaging with them.

21. Engage in Simple Happiness Boosters

Actively engage in simple activities known to improve happiness, such as listening to music, going outdoors, and spending time with friends, by making them easy to do.

22. Establish Gym Routine with a Buddy

To make gym attendance a routine, find a gym buddy and establish a fixed time, day, and place to go together, making it easier to stick to.

23. Subscribe to Curated Positivity

Subscribe to curated content like the ‘Friday Five’ email for regular doses of positivity, including articles, books, quotes, and research, to feel good and prepare for the weekend.

24. Share Valuable Content

Spread positivity and value by sharing podcast episodes or similar content with friends and family.

25. Explore Full Conversations

If you enjoy a bite-sized clip, seek out and listen to the full conversation with the guest for more in-depth content.

26. Subscribe to Podcast

Subscribe to the podcast to ensure you receive future episodes, including long-form conversations and bite-sized clips.