Recognize that happiness is not a passive state but a set of skills and beliefs that can be actively chosen and practiced, regardless of life’s obstacles.
Understand that happiness equals ’events minus expectations.’ To increase happiness, manage your expectations by aligning them with reality or lowering them, ensuring events meet or beat them.
Differentiate between unavoidable pain caused by external life events and optional suffering, which is the choice to replay and dwell on that pain repeatedly in your mind.
Understand that the physiological experience of a negative emotion, like anger, lasts only 90 seconds. Any suffering beyond this duration is a choice to reinforce the emotion through thought.
Consciously choose not to engage in the ‘Netflix of unhappiness’ by replaying past hurtful events or negative thoughts, as this perpetuates suffering unnecessarily.
Exercise your innate ability to redirect your attention away from obsessive negative thoughts when needed, by consciously choosing to focus on immediate tasks or priorities.
Practice accepting life and people as they are, rather than expecting perfection, to cultivate calm and peaceful contentment. This includes accepting imperfections in relationships.
Recognize and consciously overcome the tendency to adopt a victim mentality, understanding that this behavior, often programmed from childhood, no longer serves you as an adult.
Actively practice choosing an empowering or ‘happiness story’ in any situation, taking radical responsibility for your emotions and the narrative you attach to neutral life events.
Practice surrender as a form of strength, accepting the unchangeable realities and natural course of life rather than futilely resisting them, which leads to a wiser passage through difficult experiences.
Proactively adjust your expectations for common daily annoyances, such as traffic, by anticipating them. This prevents frustration and allows for a calmer experience when they inevitably occur.
Strive to live more fully in the present moment rather than dwelling in your head, as only truly experienced moments register as lived memories and contribute to a rich life.
Focus on creating experiences that involve human connection, love, awe, and novelty, as these are the simple yet beautiful moments that truly register as lived and form valuable memories.