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BITESIZE | How to Be Confident in Any Situation | Vanessa Van Edwards #295

Sep 15, 2022 13m 45s 11 insights
We all have times when we lack self-confidence, but loss of confidence can sometimes hold us back and stop us living the life we want to live.   Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my weekly podcast for your mind, body, and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests.   Today’s clip is from episode 254 of the podcast with Vanessa Van Edwards, an expert in body language, facial expressions, and nonverbal communication.    Vanessa calls herself a ‘recovering awkward person’. She certainly doesn’t come across like that - she exudes confidence and charisma. In this clip she reveals some of the techniques that helped her transform and that you can start using today.   Show notes and the full podcast are available at https://www.drchatterjee.com/295 Order Dr Chatterjee's new book Happy Mind, Happy Life: UK version: https://amzn.to/304opgJ US & Canada version: https://amzn.to/3DRxjgp Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.   Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Actionable Insights

1. Identify Your Confidence Style

Reflect on your unique ‘flavor of confidence’ instead of trying to emulate an extrovert or someone else, as authentic confidence is more impactful and allows you to feel genuinely yourself.

2. Embrace Authentic Confidence

Understand that truly confident and authentic nonverbal cues positively ‘infect’ others, making you more memorable and impactful, whereas faking confidence leads to no mood or behavior change in others.

3. Prioritize Nonverbal Communication

Recognize that 65-90% of communication is nonverbal, so focus energy beyond just words to effectively convey messages and avoid operating at a fraction of your full communication ability.

4. Clearly Signal Trust & Reliance

Aim to quickly and clearly signal trust (warmth) and reliance (competence) through your cues in interactions, as this makes you more magnetic by providing clarity and reducing mental work for others.

5. Cultivate Warmth and Competence

Develop charisma by consciously blending warmth (friendliness, likability, trust) and competence (capability, efficiency, productivity) in your interactions, as people are drawn to those who are both friendly and reliable.

6. Leverage Natural Cues

Identify and leverage the nonverbal cues you naturally use and those that make you feel like your best self or feel good when others use them, to enhance authenticity and confidence.

7. Adopt Charismatic Cues

Observe the most charismatic people you know and identify the specific nonverbal cues they use, then consider trying those cues yourself to enhance your own communication.

8. Use Slow Triple Nod

To increase warmth and encourage others to speak longer, use a slow triple nod (one, two, three) while listening.

9. Employ Head Tilt When Listening

To make others feel more engaged and dial up warmth, subtly tilt your head to the side while listening.

10. Use Open Palm Gesture

To signal openness and competence, use open palm gestures, such as starting interactions with an open hand, to show you are not hiding or concealing anything.

11. Maximize Shoulder-Ear Space

To project competence and avoid appearing anxious, consciously maximize the distance between your earlobes and shoulders, preventing the instinctive protective gesture of rolling shoulders up.