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BITESIZE | A Monk’s Guide To Happiness & How To Thrive in Hard Times | Gelong Thubten #459

Jun 6, 2024 19m 7s 10 insights
What if the most courageous, compassionate thing you could do in life, was to learn how to be with yourself? Today’s clip is from episode 387 of the podcast with Buddhist monk, meditation teacher and author of ‘A Handbook for Hard Times: A Monk’s Guide to Fearless Living’ - Gelong Thubten. In this clip he explains that when we distract ourselves by scrolling, overeating, or drinking for example, we’re pushing away emotional pain or discomfort – even if we may not realise it. But the discomfort is really in the pushing. If we can learn instead to sit with what’s making us uncomfortable, those emotions start to transform. Thanks to our sponsor https://www.drinkag1.com/livemore Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/387
Actionable Insights

1. Examine Your Mind’s Habits

Instead of blaming external factors for your suffering or happiness, look inward to identify the habits or “programs” your mind is running. By understanding and changing these internal programs, you can transform your life and reactions.

2. Face Emotional Discomfort Directly

When experiencing emotional pain or discomfort, learn to sit with it rather than distracting yourself with low-grade addictions like social media or alcohol. This direct engagement allows those emotions to transform and prevents the problem from worsening.

3. Reframe Hard Times as Growth

Change your perspective on difficult periods by viewing them as fertile ground for cultivating inner strength, resilience, and compassion. This reframing allows you to benefit from challenges rather than being overwhelmed by them.

4. Suffering is Mind’s Reaction

Recognize that suffering primarily stems from your mind’s reaction to external events, not the events themselves. By understanding this, you can shift your focus to managing your internal responses, which is key to reducing suffering.

5. Meditate Daily for Inner Strength

Commit to meditating for at least 10 minutes each day. Neuroscientific evidence suggests even a few days of this practice can lead to visible brain changes, fostering an inner sense of happiness, strength, and freedom from external reliance.

6. Focus on Body Sensations in Hardship

During difficult times, shift your meditation focus from the “storyline” of your troubles to the physical sensations of discomfort in your body. Working with these sensations directly can transform misery into peace, build strength, and help you find solutions.

7. Embrace Distraction in Meditation

Do not view a wandering mind during meditation as a failure; instead, see distraction as an opportunity to build strength. Each time you notice your mind has strayed and gently bring it back to your focus (e.g., your breath), you develop mental muscle.

8. Anchor Meditation with Breath

When meditating, use your breathing as a primary and consistent point of focus. This provides a reliable anchor to which you can gently return your attention whenever your mind wanders.

9. Don’t Try to Clear Your Mind

Abandon the common misconception that meditation requires you to “clear your mind,” as trying to force thoughts away only makes them louder and leads to frustration. Instead, allow thoughts to arise without judgment.

10. Meditation is “Doing Nothing”

Approach meditation with the understanding that you cannot fail, as it is fundamentally about “doing nothing” and undoing habits of running away from yourself. This process of simply being allows you to relax into your essence and discover inherent happiness.