Map out different areas of your life (e.g., health, family, career) and for each, bullet point what matters most to you, focusing on the kind of person you want to be rather than what you want to happen. This process helps you understand your personal value system, providing grounding and self-assuredness.
After defining values for each life area, rate both its importance (e.g., 1-10) and how much you feel you are currently living in line with those values. Use any low alignment scores as an opportunity to understand what’s pulling you away and how to steer back towards your values, rather than as a chance for self-criticism.
Regularly write down your thoughts and emotions to gain clarity and diffuse overwhelming feelings. Journaling helps you externalize thoughts onto paper, allowing you to observe them with detachment and fostering a conversation with yourself.
Practice staying in the present moment by choosing a focus (e.g., the sound of your feet while running) and gently guiding your attention back whenever your mind wanders. This strengthens your mental muscle to choose which thoughts to focus on and which to let pass, rather than aiming for complete calm or absence of thought.
Recognize that values are an ongoing path or vision of who you want to be, while goals are finite achievements. Frame goals as steps along your value-driven path to maintain motivation and resilience through failures, as your underlying values provide a clear reason for your actions.
Periodically check in with your values, as they can change over time due to life circumstances (e.g., having children, new experiences). This ongoing re-evaluation ensures your value system remains relevant to your current life stage and helps you steer back towards what truly matters if you’ve drifted.
When reflecting on your values and life alignment, adopt a mindset of curiosity rather than self-criticism or self-attack. This approach transforms self-assessment into a learning experience, helping you understand where you are and how to adjust, even when life pulls you away from your desired path.