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BITESIZE | 3 Life Lessons People Learn Too Late | Dr Gabor Maté #515

Jan 24, 2025 17m 8 insights
Do you live with regrets? In today’s clip from episode 440, I’m joined by fellow physician, author, speaker and friend, the incredible Dr Gabor Maté. In this clip we explore some common life regrets through the lens of Gabor's thoughts and work and he offers some thought-provoking insights on each. Gabor shares that living with ‘no regrets’ isn’t about erasing mistakes but understanding them, recognising that you did the best you could at the time, and offering your past self compassion. As with all my conversations with Gabor, this one is packed with wisdom, heart, and actionable insights. Gabor has been a regular guest on Feel Better Live More since his first appearance way back in 2018, and we both agreed that this was perhaps our favourite conversation to date. Thanks to our sponsor https://www.drinkag1.com/livemore Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/440
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Compassionate Curiosity

When facing patterns of unexpressed emotions or living inauthentically, approach yourself with compassionate curiosity rather than self-interrogation. Ask “why am I living this way?” to uncover underlying drivers, which will empower you to make different, more conscious choices.

2. Practice Saying “No” More

Identify situations where you are reluctant to say “no” to others, even when you desire to. Practice setting boundaries by saying “no” when appropriate to avoid self-suppression, reduce stress, and protect your overall health.

3. Prioritize Family Over Excessive Work

Reflect on the underlying reasons for working “too hard,” which often stem from unconscious needs to validate existence. Consciously choose to spend time with family and loved ones, as neglecting these relationships for work is a common end-of-life regret.

4. Cultivate Deep Human Connections

Actively maintain and prioritize personal relationships and heart-to-heart human contact with friends and loved ones. Avoid letting external drives for achievement or material gain lead you to ignore these vital connections, which are often regretted later in life.

5. Embrace Play and Present Joy

Prioritize playfulness and joy in your life, as these are essential aspects of happiness that are often sacrificed for external validation or success. Cultivate the capacity to be fully present and engage in imaginative play, similar to how children naturally do.

6. Transform Regret into Learning

Instead of dwelling on past actions with chronic regret, reframe them as valuable learning experiences that contribute to your growth. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging you acted with the best consciousness you had at the time, allowing you to move forward as a better version of yourself.

7. Value Present Meaning, Not Longevity

Prioritize making your current life meaningful, active, and engaged in the present moment, rather than solely focusing on extending lifespan. Embrace the finite nature of life as what makes it beautiful and strive for growth in wisdom and appreciation for what matters now.

8. Embrace Growing Older with Wisdom

View aging not just as a chronological process, but as an opportunity for “growing older” by cultivating wisdom and a deeper appreciation for life. Focus on growing into the present moment and discerning what truly matters.